Magic Jewball

Update: my mixer arrived the very next day! I’d like to write a post about it but I used up all my good lines on my Wednesday gTalk conversation with Sarpon. Also, I’m lazy.

Let’s stick with the Mets/Yankees color coding of our last blogged chat, shall we?

me: my mixer arrived!

sarpon: no shit! How did they do that — teleportation?

me: they drove all night! those Kitchenaid people are SERIOUS

sarpon: cult. I told you it’s a cult

me: I mean, it went ground from Harrisburg
they did not stop until I had my mixer – I don’t even think that guy peed

sarpon: it’s like they were waiting for you to decide, then they sent someone to grab it off the warehouse shelf and bring it to you.

me: I know! I think they had a dedicated guy jumping up and down in the warehouse waiting for me to click “order”

sarpon: they totally did — which is really kind of creepy

me: I am going to hazard a guess that this sale was because they needed the space reeeeally badly

sarpon: maybe a new model is coming out
not that you’d want it
or anything

me: maybe the white is just going to be whiter
or, alternately, less white

sarpon: what will you make first?

me: I already have whole wheat flour – maybe bread
just need yeast
yes, I’ll get home at 10 and start baking
mm hmm
no, really, how long does the dough need to rise? Maybe I should do it before work

sarpon: allowing for rising time, you should be in bed by 2

me: that would beat last night
but still, maybe it’s going to be a weekend thing

sarpon: initial rise will be about 45 minutes, then shape into loaves and rise for an hour

me: well, let’s see. If I get home at 10 and take an Ambien, I could do it at 6am and then go out running
then, I’ll cure cancer and be home in time to form the loaves

sarpon: aw… I’m googling for what you wanted and I found a pareve whole wheat recipe “frum” the kitchen of..

me: bwah
stop googling! I will find one

sarpon: I disobeyed, I found a recipe for pumpin marmalade bread
pimpkin
pumpkin

me: flumpkin?

sarpon: i’m dying

me: it’s hard out here for a pimpkin

sarpon: I have to be silent, this is killing me

me: try singing that song out loud! people beg you to close the door
don’t ask me how I know

The Cars – All Mixed Up

Djay feat. Shug – It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp

Could this be the most depressing photo ever? Maybe not if you’re from LA, I guess. Anyway, let’s take our minds off of this with some more heartening images. This post is unabashedly about me. I hate doing that to you but I drank a little too much tonight and that’s the kind of drunk I am.

Look, it’s England! Does it seem too soon to take another trip? Not if I go with Pious B! Yes, this is what we discussed over wild salmon with herb butter, saffron risotto, and glazed green beans. We’re looking for cheap airfares for around Christmastime when the music industry shuts down and we will be free, free, free at last. No work piling up at the office, no charts to ponder, no records released, let’s be jolly… in England. Please make me aware in the comments section should you find yourself on Expedia or Orbitz or Kayak or the travel site of your choice and see an extraordinary deal. Doesn’t have to be today, any day’s comments would be swell. As soon as you see it, really. Being the Jews that we are, we are willing, nay desiring, to travel right on Christmas day. We’ll wave at you as you’re opening your gifts. Sorry about the socks. Bye! So if you see something under, say, $450 a person, don’t keep it to yourself! If you find it on Continental, Pi will give you $10. If it’s on Delta, I’ll give you $15.

Moving right along, this is my new mixer. It’s wending it’s way to me right now from Amazon and it was a steal! My Purim cookies are going to be just even more fabulous next year than last. And my rugelach will melt in your mouth. I mean, it pays for itself in rugelach, really. But I’m going to make bread too. You have to spend bread to make bread, people!

Don’t tell me I should have gotten cobalt blue or persimmon, please. White was cheapest and I’m redoing my kitchen next year anyway. And if you tell me, I will take you off my cookie list.

Finally, here is Stephen Colbert. I met him last night! I took Niece2, who is 15 and has an e-mail address which exhorts you to vote Colbert, to the book signing at Borders and she almost jumped out of her skin. I forgot the line I was going to say which was, “you look even truthier in person.” Alas. All the writers signed too, even though they’re on strike. I made one of them laugh, even, but since they did not have name tags, I could not tell you which one. He’s my favorite now, though! It was in the Time Warner Center and I had a loaf of bread (no mixer yet) from the Whole Foods downstairs in my environmental cloth bag. He said, “you brought a loaf of bread?” I said, “it was a long line.” I actually should have had Colbert sign it. I mean, Niece2 had him sign a bag of Doritos. We actually one-upped each other for two hours on line by proposing things we would have signed. She won by spotting a woman with a baby in a carrier and saying, “if I had a baby, I’d get my baby signed.” I couldn’t really top that.

Honorary mention goes to David Nalbandian for winning his Masters Series event in Paris by beating Rafael “ass-picker” Nadal. But I really helped with that due to MY MIND because I told him it was his chance to break several times whilst watching the match on my teevee. And to Paula Radcliffe who won the NY Marathon completely without my help because I was watching Nalby at the time (see the line just before this one).

Title comes from Ian Dury & the Blockheads – Reasons to Be Cheerful, not available on Napster.

Looky here, it’s a current song. I do actually listen to new music (thank you, XM Radio) but that’s not the usual point of this exercise. However, every so often a song or album comes along that is just so good I have to share. I’m in love, people. In love with the Editors’ new album “An End Has A Start.” If you know that I like Interpol (and hell, it’s right there in the sidebar), this won’t really shock you. Actually, in my disappointment at the new Interpol release, this has kind of been a balm. It’s da balm! It’s the record Interpol should have been. Well, no, they really are different. For one thing, Editors’ lyrics actually make sense. Oh snap!

Anyway, it’s kind of a sad album but really catchy and melodic. It’s got beautiful lines like, “I watch as your eyes show off for mine.” And the lead singer’s voice is just killer, although I knew that from the first CD, which you should also get. This is the title track and single, or at least the song they play on XM Ethel. Which means it’s the single. Last week when the IRT went down due to signal malfunction, I walked all the way to another line, then across from that line back home, with this song on repeat. And it kept me from killing anyone!

Listen, enjoy, buy.

Napster:
Editors – An End Has A Start (not available on Napster but is available on iTunes)

Streaming audio available on the iPod Song of the Week page.

I hope I’m sleeping right now, clock change notwithstanding, but I know those crazy marathoners start early and there won’t be much time to read my blog before it begins. And I’m SO sure Paula Radcliffe is amongst my regulars. Thus, I wrote this in advance to wish a hearty good luck, bon courage, etc. to Paula, who is running the NY Marathon today less than a year after having a baby. Why do I care? If you own a Nike+ attachment for your iPod you already know the answer to this, I’m sure. It’s this gadget you connect to your iPod Nano that transmits a signal from a piece worn in your shoe and gives you all kinds of stats while you’re running (or walking) to tell you how you’re doing. One of the funnest parts is that when you hit your best time or pace or whatever, Paula (or Lance Armstrong but I’m not such a fan of his so whatevs) comes on and says in her chirpy British accent, “Congratulations! You’ve reached your personal best for the mile!” Or that you’ve completed your longest workout, but that happened when my keys fell out of my pocket in the park and I retraced my route 3 times to try to find them, then gave up and went to Brother1’s to collect my spares. It didn’t really feel like an achievement for some reason.

So the fact that Paula cheers me on all the time made me want to do the same for her here in New York. But that would involve actually getting to a viewing spot at a decent hour and unless I really know you, via real life and not iPod, it’s just too much effort. Instead, I’ll wish her success via blog and think of her when I do my afternoon run tomorrow. And who knows? If I lose anything else I may just hear from her.

BTW, I have a little bit of a girl crush on the woman who does the updates on the Nike+. The way she says “halfway point” and “400 meters to go” just really floats my boat. I might have gone to cheer her on. Although I wouldn’t mind telling her that she really should hold off on my updates when the good part of the song is playing. She needs to fix that. Maybe it’s a good thing for both of us that she is just a faceless voice.

Also BTW, if you found a set of keys in Riverside Park in August, I’m usually not around between 9 and 7 so those are good times to rob me.

Pink Floyd – Run Like Hell

Gosh, it’s been a long time since I talked about my stats. It’s really time for “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” but I’ll probably get to that over the weekend because I’m actually planning/cooking a real dinner for Pious B tomorrow night. I have a new cookbook and a will to learn to cook versus what I usually do which is:

a. read directions
b. follow directions exactly
c. mix things together
d. stick in oven or on range

But luckily, Alice Waters has this new “simple foods” cookbook which I am hoping is for simple people, i.e. me, and thus will get me into a new mode where I:

a. read directions but
b. instinctively throw things together
c. taste until it’s what I like
d. heat with an actual technique

This year I have taken on French and running and I say, why can’t I be mediocre yet enthusiastic about this too? I can! Look out, Pi.

Anyway, I did have a topic here, yes. The stats. As I’ve noted before, I often find out something is going on in the world of tennis by how the searches are going in my stats. In case you couldn’t remember how obsessed I am with my stats, I received the following e-card today from my friend, Becky, who knows me all too well.

Indeed.

Today, as you can see at left, my stats were full of searches for pictures of Martina Hingis who isn’t usually even in my top 10, probably because no one is wondering if she’s Jewish. So I did my own search and it turns out she tested positive for cocaine and has decided to retire. Again. Well, I don’t know if the coke is a repeat but the retirement is. You can insert your own “she blew it” joke here. WTG, Martina! I knew I could count on you.

This could be the most disappointing sports month ever. David Nalbandian is playing Roger Federer in Paris today but I couldn’t even bring myself to update his page because I feel like I am cursed by the sports gods. I’m sure there’s a card for that somewhere.

ETA: Hey! Nalby won. Oh me of little faith. I suppose I should update the page.

Eric Clapton – Cocaine