Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Is that a tennis ball in your pocket, or are you just happy to have won the medal?

Filed under : Sports,Tennis
On August 6, 2012
At 1:15 am
Comments : 2

Well, both.

I wanted to say a lot of cliched things about how the Olympics inspire people to do the best they possibly can and to push the outer limits of what humans can do. But in the end, I decided to just post this photo of Juan Martin Del Potro, sobbing uncontrollably after winning the bronze medal for Argentina.

In tennis, as in most team sports, it’s better to win the bronze than the silver, because the silver means you narrowly lost the gold, whereas with the bronze, you narrowly avoided getting nothing and being no better than the guy who lost in the first round.

But then again, as Meredith and Matt so classily reminded us, the vast majority of Olympians win nothing. But don’t they inspire you anyway? So remember: announcers blow and athletes rule. You have to be in it to win it, as they say, and I think they all won it. Especially Juan Martin Del Potro.

Photo from J. Finney/Getty.


This post is just two words long

Filed under : Baseball,Reasons to be cheerful,Sports
On March 16, 2012
At 5:00 pm
Comments : 7

I was going to write something else to mark my last day of work for two weeks but I think I’ll save that post for Sunday. Because Andy Pettitte. ANDY PETTITTE.

In conclusion, ANDY PETTITTE.

“Weird Al” Yankovic – (This Song’s Just) Six Words Long


Winning, no hashtag

Filed under : Baseball,Reasons to be cheerful,Sports,Tennis,Travel
On March 11, 2012
At 10:45 pm
Comments : 3

This one is a hard one because although I’m in the midst of a happy thoughts marathon, I’m feeling sad about something. So I will just leave it with a couple of happy sports things that happened today (for me) (and for these athletes). First, I finally managed to catch a pre-season baseball game and even Mariano’s first outing of the season. And the Yankees won! Although it means nothing, woot! More meaningfully, David Nalbandian won his second round match today at Indian Wells, where the Deases are, and in usual Nalbifashion, that is, in all tiebreaks. But hey, the result is what counts, or so they tell me. That makes me feel wistful about deciding to go to the UK rather than the Sony Ericsson Tournament in Miami, since he will be there, too. But due to laws of space, time, and money, I can only choose one place to vacation.

Speaking of, I’ve sort of decided on Northern Ireland and must get cracking on hotels since it is (gulp) now a bit over a week away. If you feel like planning my vacation for me, please apply in the comments section.

No song today, I’m Derry sorry. Ha, better jokes to come, I hope.


17th nervous breakdown

Filed under : Sports,Tennis
On August 30, 2011
At 1:05 am
Comments : 3

Oh my, what a day! I don’t even know where to start. Maybe Court 17 because that’s where I started it. Court 17 is a whole new court, the first in years (it even has a $40 commemorative t-shirt, naturally) and it’s sort of the fourth show court. As I said to Brother2, “Court 17, did they just invent it?” You’ll need Seinfeld to laugh with me instead of at me for that.

Not that many of my readers care, but for future Googlers, here’s what I thought of it. It’s slightly smaller than the grandstand and yet you’re slightly further away because the seating isn’t as steep (people who have been to both the old and new Yankee Stadiums will understand what I mean). The problem with this, besides the distance aspect, is that for vertically challenged people like myself, if a tall person sits in front of you, you’re screwed. But mostly it’s good. There are seats with backs and that’s a giant plus. It’s brutally hot with no shade at all but so is Armstrong and as you recall, I want to be buried there, so I can’t really be too upset about it.

Today I saw Gasquet there (or Gas-ket as someone in front of me pronounced it) as well as Tommy Haas who is, remarkably, still alive. Then I moved on and saw the Radwanska sisters play each other in a tepid match. Please remind me next time: despite what you and I may have learned from shared rooms of our childhood, there is no excitement in seeing sisters battle each other on the tennis court. Luckily, I moved on and saw Israeli Dudi Sela come back from a near loss to Brazilian Thomaz Bellucci, largely on the strength of the crowd. If you think I am exaggerating, understand that he made the “I’m not worthy” bowing down symbol to the stands afterwards. It was the first time in US Open history that South Americans have been outshouted by some other partisan group. It was good to be Jewey!

(In case you were wondering, I did not see Mardy Fish play. Like many bands I have supported over the years, Mardy has become too good to play the small courts and stadiums where I can afford to see what’s actually happening (my seat in Ashe is very close to God) and I am sad but not sorry. You go, Mardy! Play the big court every day! I still love you.)

Last, I saw Gael Monfils, a sometime replacement for the entertainment factor we lost when Fabrice Santoro retired, play another really great guy named Somethingorother Dmitrov. You can look it up because I am tired and need to do the whole thing again tomorrow.

Which brings me to the most important part! Tomorrow!* On the Brand New Court 17! David Nalbandian will be playing Bobby Reynolds who is a fine fellow but sadly not David Nalbandian. This may be the last year that I need your MINDS, people! We can do it! Because lately, he can’t. The match should be about 5pm but I’ll be tweeting so check local tweets.

Thank you and have a pleasant and winning tomorrow.*

*tomorrow is now today – Tuesday, August 30. Your time zone may vary.


You will be dead in October!

Filed under : Baseball,Sports
On April 11, 2011
At 11:30 am
Comments : 5

Despite the sad, sad weekend the Yankees had, I still laughed and laughed at this commercial when I saw it last night. And as a bonus, I didn’t even have to sit through most of the rubber game, as I took a three hour standardized exam, came home, ate dinner, and promptly fell asleep for four hours. Apparently, so did CC Sabathia. Rimshot!

Anyhow, I realized why I haven’t been doing any cooking these last few months and it’s not because I don’t have time, although I don’t, it’s because there was no baseball to listen to in the kitchen. This week, I made a fantastic flounder while John Sterling was making an awful home run call for Russell Martin (“Monsieur Martin est là,” really?). By the way, here was one of the questions on my exam:

If you don’t know what job you’ll have and whether you’ll be sitting at a desk or moving around or how long your day will last, or even if you may be at home living off your 401k, is it best to buy Gameday Audio for:
a. Your phone
b. Your computer
c. Your iPad
d. Your iPod
e. None, you need that money for ramen noodles

Ha, no, actually, most of the exam was based on things I seem to have known all my life, like what a database is for and what’s the best solution for sending out the same memo to many different people (if you said Mail Merge, hopefully we both passed). There were more complicated questions, I will admit, but none as hard as the fake one I posted just above. For the record, I chose iPod, since that will be the most convenient to listen to whilst in transit, which is when I am most likely to need to hear a game. Also, because my phone battery dies in about twelve hours as is; in active use it will never make it through your typical five hour Yankees-Red Sox affair. E was a trick answer: how could I make noodles without baseball to listen to?