Magic Jewball

all signs point to no



Filed under : New York City,Stores
On November 15, 2007
At 12:30 am
Comments : 27

Speaking of dreams, one of mine came true this week and it’s going to change my life. Dear diary, it’s really happened, they opened a Target near me. If you are savvy, and you know New York or Target or both, you will say, “Becca, there’s no new Target near you – the last one opened like last year. Or the year before.” True. But I thought it was in The Bronx. It turns out, it’s in Riverdale. If you are inclined to think that Riverdale is actually in The Bronx, hey, just ask someone from Riverdale. Or plug the address of the Target into Hopstop and use The Bronx as the borough. Nothing, right? Well, try Manhattan. Yes, Hopstop considers 225th Street in Riverdale to be Manhattan. Nice.

I just consider it somewhere safe to shop. And shop I did. It’s 25 minutes away by subway! And no changes! One line, up, down, etc. Do you know how nice that is with bags filled to the brim with inexpensive merchandise? I may never shop at Duane Reade again, I don’t care if it’s on every corner of my intersection. Which it is. On the way back, I ended up talking to some lady from the Village (she didn’t understand the weekend service changes on the IRT, which have been going on for most of my adult life, it seems, so I am a fount of information) who had only come so far because she had a gift card. For ten dollars. And she said it took her an hour to find anything she could possibly want. Are you kidding me? I made comments to the effect of “$5 toothpaste at Duane Reade, $2.39 at Target” and such, and her answer was, “I shop at the 99 cents store, I never go to Duane Reade.” Well, if you want to die of poisoning from Crist brand Chinese toothpaste, have at it, sister! It later emerged that her handbag cost four hundred dollars. I cannot make this stuff up. By the way, I spent $165 at Tar-jhay. And I may go back this Sunday.

I want you to know, I have nothing against The Bronx. It’s actually my third favorite borough! Right in the middle. Here’s how it shakes out:

1. Manhattan – This may surprise you if this is your first day on this website.
2. Brooklyn – Sentimental favorite – I’m half Brooklynese and have swell memories.
3. The Bronx – Yankee Stadium, The Bronx Zoo, Botanical Gardens – what’s not to like? Please don’t answer that.
4. Queens – I suppose I just don’t really like Queens, maybe it’s the fact that I only find myself there in a huge hurry to make a plane. But it has the National Tennis Center and until they move it to somewhere better, I’ll continue to just enjoy it one week of the year.
5. Staten Island – I’ve seen it more often in Working Girl than real life. I believe I have spent one day there ever. I think I was ten.

So there you have it. And actually, I’m not sure I want a Target in Manhattan. Have you seen Union Square lately? And by lately, I mean in the last ten years. No, really, it’s beginning to make even I, who love chain stores, kind of queasy. So let’s keep it just over the border in The Bronx Riverdale, shall we?

KRS-One – South Bronx