Magic Jewball

Yes, it’s our proud reader of the month. Let’s call her, oh, “Bob.” As you can see, Bob is terribly proud of reading my blog nine times a day. She couldn’t wait to declare her love for this site in front of everyone in the Whole Foods at the plush ‘n attractive Time Warner Center. Yes, I took her out to dinner to celebrate. Of course, she had to pay for her own food.

By the way, if you look carefully, you can see at the table behind us a woman had decorated her small piece of Whole Paycheck with a framed photo, kind of like Kate Winslet sprucing up her shipboard accommodations with Picassos in Titanic. I know, I know, it’s shocking to realize that I’m the sanest person in New York but it can’t be Bob, naturally, because she reads The Jewball nine times a day.

Later, we stopped to ponder that eternal question: which is a quicker mode of transportation, city bus or horse & buggy? As you can see, it’s Mr. Ed by a neck. And that’s not even counting that horse manure is surely a finer scent than the average guy on the bus.

After our magical evening, Bob went home, as I was left alone to contemplate how I am truly the garbage bag in front of the Avery Fisher Hall of life.