Magic Jewball

This is not a political blog but it is quite a bit about baking. And what I do with my day (I know! So funny because it’s a blog!). So if you live in the NY metro area and would like to join me selling “Hope in a Cake,” this weekend, let me know! Or, feel free to join up with a bake sale near you.

If you delight in another candidate, I’ll put a sad-face on your brownie. No, no, I still love you! Just as I loved Willie Randolph even when he joined the Mets. And look how well that worked out.

Sam Cooke – A Change Is Gonna Come

Sometimes when I think the word “television,” I hear it in a rhythmic way. This is both because I’m an odd duck but also because of this song. It’s one of those social/political songs that make you nod and say, “this is both true and it has a good beat.” This one is from the early 90’s and I’m not sure that if Michael Franti, the thinking man’s rap-jazz fusionist who was the major player in this band as well as Spearhead and several others, would write this the same way today. Maybe the Internet is the drug of the nation now!

One thing that’s still true: there are still 150 channels and nothing on.

I’d write more but I.can’t.stop.surfing.

[youtube width=”425″ height=”335″]http://youtube.com/watch?v=sgOWTM5R2DA[/youtube]

The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy – Television The Drug Of The Nation

Hey, did you know? It’s a special Jewish Day on the secular calendar. Go ahead and wrack your brains, I can wait.

I lied, I can’t. I have a packed weekend. So let’s cut right to the chase and I’ll tell you that it’s June 13th. Yes, you knew that. But I love 6/13! This is because there are 613 commandments (or mitzvot in Hebrew, or mitzvahs in Hebraicized English) in Judaism. Lots of people think mitzvah means good deed and sometimes it does. But really, it means commandment, requirement, etc. These are things Jewish people believe God has commanded us to do. And it’s OK to think of it as a good deed because then you realize that good deeds, too, are required.

I once heard someone say to someone else that if she wasn’t going to give of herself with an open heart, then forget it. But in Judaism it’s not like that. Feeling good is awesome but even if you hate doing good things, you have to. Luckily, I enjoy giving all my money away and cleaning the sores of the old and sick.

Man, two lies in one post. Maybe I’ll just concentrate on those other 612.

Have a good weekend all!

The Fall – Calendar

In the several days I’ve been missing from your lives, days of oppressive heat and humidity, days in which walking down the street was like a preview of Hell, I have done some more research on the topic of the previous post. Intensive research. Yes, I looked at other people’s clothes as I walked around. And I have changed my mind on this topic. You see, I’m sure fewer people wear shorts here than in your town, that is, if you don’t live here. Or in Alaska. But lots of people did, in fact, wear shorts in my neighborhood. Almost every guy. And maybe 30% of women.

Then I went back to work in Midtown and the only short-panted people were obvious tourists. And so, I have a new hypothesis. The chick who wrote that letter never leaves the tourist area! And she is shocked, shocked, to see that the natives are not hanging about, lounging, walking slowly, looking around, dressed in casual, comfortable clothing. What is it with these people? Don’t they realize this is like Disney World North? Why are they all dressed up? If she visits every year, she might try leaving Times Square and Rockefeller Center.

But seriously. This is why we love the cities we visit. We’re on vacation while we’re there.

Spandau Ballet – To Cut A Long Story Short

Which is why there’s no real post today. Also, I’m preparing for our dairyriffic holiday, Shavuot. Shavuot means weeks. Weeks of despair. For me, that is. That’s because the A/C unit I blogged about spending a thousand dollars on just two years ago is already broken and out for repair. Shockingly, the one part that was under warranty is not the actual part that broke. YaY! I don’t really care, actually, as long as they fix it and fill the hole in my wall and life. Right now, I just refuse to go into the part of my apartment that this unit cools.

But it’s closing in on 100 degrees here and will be at around that for several more days. Which made this letter to the “FYI” column of today’s New York Times all the more timely.

Q. I live in Texas, and my wife and I visit your city every year in the late summer for my birthday. I always bring shorts. We have noticed when we visit that few people wear shorts in New York, even when it’s hot. Why not?

A. There are plenty of shorts to be seen on jogging paths, and in parks and other open spaces. But when in public, New Yorkers have to spend a lot of time sharing close quarters: crowded sidewalks and packed buses and subways. It’s one thing to rub elbows with strangers, another to rub knees and legs with them. And passing vehicles can kick up a lot of grit.

Other aspects of life here are also factors. Some groups of New Yorkers are forbidden by religious custom to wear shorts. Many nice restaurants bar shorts because people expect that kind of dress code for their money. Your expense-account client might enjoy ogling someone’s Daisy Dukes, but the ladies who lunch would object.

Finally, Manhattan is the capital of the financial services industry, which practically compels conservative dress. You might talk to Chuck, but you probably don’t want him managing your money in shorts.

Designers agree that shorts are just too casual for the city, especially on a work day, said Jennifer Fisherman Ruff, a fashion publicist in Manhattan.

“With the trend of dresses being so strong these past few years,” she said in an e-mail message, “you have the look of an exposed leg while still looking more polished.”

Does this strike you as meandering around throwing out half-baked theories that seem to have no real basis in reality? Me too! In fact, that whole answer could have been these two lines.

Shorts are not in fashion. People in NY try to stay in fashion.

Wait, that was politically incorrect. Let’s try again.

We have different fashions here in New York! This is to help us figure out which people are tourists and which merely are confused. The tourists are people for whom we answer questions. The confused get shunned. You’re welcome!

See what I mean?

This is our mayor. He’s not from around here and someone forgot to send him the memo.

Anyway, happy Shavuot! Blogging will resume when the holiday and/or heatwave end mid-week.

The Cure – Hot! Hot! Hot!