Magic Jewball

(Getty Images)

What else is there for me to say? Oh right, this. In my life, I have only seen David Nalbandian play in a final on TV three times (Wimbledon 2002, Shanghai Finals 2005, and yesterday’s Legg-Mason Classic in DC). This is both a function of the lack of tennis on American television and the dearth of championships in which Nalby has appeared. And it’s only the second time I have ever seen him win one. I’d try to explain how amazing it was to watch but instead, I’ll let the picture have its thousand words.

CNN: David Nalbandian wins Legg-Mason Classic title in Washington

Just ten days till pitchers and catchers report! (Well, the Yankees… your team may vary). I too will be toasting this event with a lot of snacking and so forth. I was actually invited to a party to celebrate what I assumed, naturally, would be this, but then I found out they’re watching some other hootenanny. No thanks!

I do like to see what chick flick programming the other stations will put together, though. I usually get Gone With the Wind but not, alas, this year. Instead we have a Law & Order marathon (but late model ones, boo!), Titanic, The Sound of Music, Dances With Wolves, and some other crap. And I do mean crap… like six hours of To Catch A Predator. Scary! I think I’m going to go with Get Shorty, which I’ve loved ever since I saw it on a flight to LA in the 90’s and they dubbed out the phrase “plane crash” and replaced it with “train crash.” I never knew he actually faked his death in the air until about ten years later. I hope I’m not giving anything away there in case you missed it when it came out in 1995.

But speaking of parties, here’s a song that I forgot even existed. The video is dumb but the song tells a story I know we can all empathize with. Except me. Sometimes I spend time in the bathroom at parties, if the bathroom is really nice. Or sometimes I’ll get out my cellphone and pretend I’m making an important call. But they didn’t have cellphones in Jona Lewie’s time. He just had the kitchen.

I’m not counting Saturday/Sunday, you see. They felt a little odd, but it’s hard to remember you have no job on the weekend. Unless you’ve been unemployed a while and maybe it wasn’t voluntary; that’s happened to me too, so I understand. Monday was weird but in a “too conscious” way, as if I had to keep reminding myself, my former co-workers are plugging away and I’m! not! Then I berated myself for a while because I meant to get some things done and I didn’t. I should have just written off the day early and felt good about doing nothing. Next time!

Tomorrow should be an interesting day. It’s today now but whatever. Remember my cousin who was discovering some home truths about The Employed Life? Right, well she’s in beauty school and is giving me a haircut tomorrow. Listen, cheap is cheap. Then, I’m off to see Trent Reznor to ask him about that whole “fat chicks tried to kill me” thing. Or not, it may just be a straight up Nine Inch Nails concert. I saw NIN on their first tour and not since. This is supposed to be the last tour and if I believed that, I would think it was an amazing bookends kind of thing. Still, it’s been almost twenty years and he’s put out two albums since then. I kid! I think it’s three. I don’t have the new one; they gave it away for free and I don’t trust people who give away their albums for free. That’s also a lie. I downloaded it an hour ago and am hastily trying to catch up.

A few items of business: I owe a Jew & A and it will be coming soon. Not tomorrow, though, it’s hard to write during that “I want to fuck you like an animal” song. Also, I have some US Open tickets for sale so if you are in New York City or its environs and would like to attend THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH during the first week, please contact me using the e-mail address at right or you can use the Jew & A form if you want to be really creative. Day and night session tickets are available. Because tennis is great day and night, naturally. Face value. Because your face has value. My Guide to the US Open is still mostly true (the backpack thing may have changed but it probably changed back) so feel free to check that out whether or not you get your tickets from me. But, you know, get your tickets from me.

In conclusion, it’s late and I just killed a gnat on my MacBook screen. Non-sequitors are fun!

I meant to make this iPod Song of the Week but I was busy working out my life when it caught my attention. This band is opening for NIN and are Teh Awesome! What I would have said then is that this is literally the only song I purchased the first time I heard it before it was even over. Of course, it’s like eight minutes so there was a lot of time, but still. It is so brilliant in every way and it still entrances me several months later. If you’re curious, I believe I made the purchase at 4:06.

It’s scary how good target advertising is, even on RSS feeds. I hardly expected to see the ad at bottom on my feed from Deadspin, the sports blog, but hey, how often do Famous Jewish Sports Legends show up? (OK, he isn’t exactly a legend, but I’m referencing the Airplane leaflet joke and well, we take what we can get).

But, you know, if you’re interested in Jewish basketball players, you may be interested in….

Naturally. It even anticipates this comment from the post: “He should just stick to what Jews do best. Things like writing comedy and marrying other Jews.” Rimshot!

What Ever Happened To the Jewish Jordan?

Nelly – Got Myself A Date

Start spreading the news, indeed; it’s more awesome journalism from the Telegraph. Imagine my surprise, taking a break from rugelach baking to watch the farewell-palooza to Yankee Stadium on ESPN and check my feeds, to come across the news that the game had already happened. Yes, the final game at Yankee Stadium has already been played, dontcha know. Would the Telegraph lie?

Yankee stadium sees its last game
An illustrious chapter in American sporting history came to an end last night as the Yankee Stadium in New York hosted its last baseball game.

By Tom Leonard in New York
Last Updated: 10:27PM BST 21 Sep 2008

The 57,545-seat stadium, America’s most famous sporting venue and the home for the past 85 years of the New York Yankees, is to be demolished and replaced with a $1.6 billion (£870 million) new ballpark close to its location in the Bronx.

An extra 2,000 security staff were drafted in for the final game to prevent chaos as fans were expected to attempt to rip up the stadium and make off with souvenirs. Fans had previously been found trying to bring spanners into the ground.

The enthusiasm of souvenir hunters is understandable given the unique place the stadium holds in American sports history, not to mention the fact that Nelson Mandela, Muhammad Ali and three popes have spoken there.

The stadium was nicknamed “The House That Ruth Built” in homage to Babe Ruth, the baseball superstar who inaugurated the stadium in 1923.

The so-called “cathedral of baseball”, with its famous 12ft high letters spelling out its name, went on to become home to 26 World Series-winning teams.

However, there was no spectacular finale yesterday as the Yankees, currently languishing in the baseball league, played the even less successful Baltimore Orioles.

I wonder if I should watch now. I mean, they say right there that it wasn’t spectacular. What to do, what to do.

By the way, I wonder where “Tom Leonard in New York” really is. Maybe he’s in a bar, picking up a chick right now. Perhaps he’s on the beach in Spain. Perhaps there really is no Tom Leonard. Whichever it is, I’m sad to see that baseball fans in the UK are being swindled in this fashion. Both of them.

Yankee stadium sees its last game

Thompson Twins – Lies