Magic Jewball

I can’t even bring myself to read the article. Maybe it’ll be serious and that would be a downer, wouldn’t it?

Nurse Denies Rampage With Hooligans

I would too, sister. Wacky Brits!

I cannot understand why Napster doesn’t have this track!
Killer Pussy – Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage (excerpt)

 

So when I said I’d have a non-tennis post later this weekend, I meant really later, as in technically Monday. I also didn’t foresee that I’d be too tired to say anything much. Actually, the only reason I’m even doing a post is that my heat seems to be off and the laptop is keeping me warm.

But onward. I’ve done a little market research, that is, read my comments, and I’ve become aware that several other people share my love and nostalgia for the game of Tetris. If you are also deeply fascinated by the history of computers, the fall of the Iron Curtain, and legal wrangling (what, am I the only one?), then you should absolutely check out a BBC documentary on the topic, available here. Did you ever wonder why there are 4 million free versions* of Tetris out there? Answered! Oh, you’ll also need an hour to kill. If you’re reading this from work, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’ve got that in spades.

I also just installed more memory in my MacBook Pro after making sure I was absolutely static-free, which is never easy when you have hair past your shoulders. It worked! Sadly, I type just as slowly.

 

* I use Quinn for Mac, which makes a satisfying whooshing sound as the rows disappear. If the heat stays off I may actually play most of the night.

 

Alan Parsons Project – Games People Play

That is to say, “Happy Holiday, Gentiles!”

You’ll probably be reading this tomorrow, long after you’ve overeaten and oohed and aaahed over your presents (hopefully) but let it be stated: JBall wished you a good day in a timely fashion. But maybe, once your thoughts drift away from how you got a sweater and not an iPod, you will wonder, “Gee, what do non Christmas-celebrators do on this magical day?” I mean, besides blogging, which I am clearly doing.

Let me step back a moment and reminisce about my friend Kim, with whom I worked at Sam Goody’s at The Gallery in Baltimore many years ago. She was terribly concerned that I would be alone for Christmas. She begged me to join her and her family. “But Kim,” I said. “All the machines will be free – I have laundry to do!” She never really got that.

There is a stereotype that Jews eat Chinese food and go to the movies on Christmas, which are two things that seem to be open that day. In fact, I did have Chinese food for dinner (I’m writing this at 1am so I suppose it now qualifies as last night) and the place was packed, but I swear, it was only because an errand took me close to my favorite Chinese place. I don’t plan to be at the movie theatre, though, as far as I know. I mean, there are so many great Christmas movies on TV, how could I? (I’m actually serious about that; I love holiday movies) Except MSNBC which inexplicably is having a marathon of crime documentaries. Cheery!

I once saw a calendar from a Jewish school which had December 25th marked as “Jewish Family Day.” Bwah! But in some ways it is, as the whole family is indeed off, usually, which is why I have such fond memories of watching Miracle on 34th Street as a child.

Another excellent way to utilize the day is to travel, because Christmas is one of the cheapest days to fly ever and the security lines are refreshingly short as well. That’s been an especial habit of mine as the entire music industry shuts down the week between Christmas and New Year’s; radio stations don’t change their playlists, labels don’t ship CD’s, Billboard doesn’t publish charts, etc. And so you can go away and not even worry about work piling up on your desk. It’s heavenly. I was supposed to go away this week, in fact, but maybe that’s a story for some other day. But that’s OK, I managed to have plans every single day, I’m not sure how that happened to my leisurely week of chill, but it did.

And, in similarity with children everywhere, I am currently playing with my new toy, that is, my shiny MacBook Pro. Here’s the interactive part of the post where Mac using JBall readers get to help me out. I do love the way this thing boots up in 17 seconds and never crashes, but I can’t stand the way the screen looks, in particular the fonts. Everything is soft and fuzzy and round, like you’re actually dreaming of computing rather than doing it. Oh, and let me apologize to you because you Mac people have been seeing my site in Lucida, which I think was designed by a blind person. Or maybe he went blind from using Lucida for several days. I mean, everything in OS X seems to be in Lucida so maybe you like it, but I hate it. And if you switch to something else it comes out so soft and blurry that it may as well be Lucida. I am actually considering returning it. Someone tell me why I shouldn’t…please!

Anyway, hope you all are enjoying your holiday week as much as I am and that Fred Gwynn brought you everything you your heart desired and didn’t want to return.

Gang of Four – Return the Gift

Do you live in New York? Do you love me? Do you love money? Most importantly, do you have one extra Deftones ticket?

For personal reasons which cannot be explained, I am in desperate need of going to the show next week, 12/5 at the Nokia Theatre. No, none of my connections have come through. I will pay, well, not anything, but something. Something decent.

Yes, I’ve tried Craigslist and eBay. Yes, I will stand outside forlornly on the day of the show (it worked last time!). But in the meantime…..help!

I know I said I was going to Paris for vacation but actually, I’m sort of on vacation now. It’s hard to explain and thus I won’t. Because I’m lazy! And private! But let’s go back to that first lazy one. Since you’ve all been leaving such fabulous sukkah comments and Celia was right that you need a new topic, here’s one for you so you can all be my guest bloggers. Please tell me a humorous vacation story. Non-humorous vacation stories are not encouraged, but since I don’t know where you live I can hardly track you down and reprimand you personally.

Also, should you have no vacation stories at all, just tell me anything. Remember, J-Ball readers are counting on you for new content. OK, they should have been counting on me, but I’m just going out and admitting right now I’m letting you down. Yes, yes, I suck. Be sure to tell me so humorously in a comment.

No song today due to laziness and/or vacation. Instead, please enjoy this adorable yet non-topical photo of a baby holding onto a subway pole which I’ve dug out of the archives.