Liberté
I’m a bit late with this post, that is, I meant to write it this morning where it could have basked in its anniversary moment. But I was busy with six hours of classes and then the library so I could avoid buying a book which is available there free online. And that’s as it should be, because that’s what I chose to do and this is the day I let the world know about that decision. A year ago today, I gave my notice at work after thirteen years at the company and sixteen in the business. I really chose it because it was the only day with sufficient advance time to the day I wanted to leave that had everyone I needed to tell not on vacation. Summer is hard. And it wasn’t a Monday so I couldn’t worry about it all weekend. But I liked that it was Bastille Day, the day the prisoners were freed from their chains. A year later, I realize that if I had chosen July 10th or 15th, I never would have remembered. It was because I saw that it was Bastille Day on the news this morning (naturally, there were deals to be had at French restaurants; that was the angle) that I suddenly recalled it.
I’d like to say that it doesn’t feel like a year but in fact, it feels like ten years. I barely remember what it’s like to lead a 9 to 5 (or 9 to 7, really) life or to answer to a boss or to care whether music is selling or what’s #1. If it weren’t for Facebook, I’d scarcely even remember the people. It seems like such a long time ago and worlds away from the way I live now. I’m hesitant to give a full on status report when it’s not really a year since I left (that’s in about five weeks) but suffice to say, I am thankful every day for the opportunity to do what I am now. In fact, I decided to stay on another year (I was supposed to finish in May 2010) because, quite frankly, this is like a vacation and who wants to go home? Also, because I feel like I just haven’t learned enough and am not quite prepared to start a new career. So onward we go to May 2011. Money will be even tighter and we’ll see just how far I can take a bag of dried beans. But it will be worth it, I know. Even if I lost everything today, it would be worth it. It’s just that good.
The funniest part, to me, is that I’ve always hated school. I used to say, after I was working, that my worst day at work was better than my best day at school. But maybe like youth, school is wasted on the young. When you’re an adult and you get to answer only to yourself and study things you like with other people who love it as much as you do and professors who are passionate about it, too, I mean, how much fun could putting together a spreadsheet for The Man be in comparison? Well, no, I still love spreadsheets. That’s a bad example. But I do remember calling Sarpon and crying to her on the phone on the night of the 13th that I was making a giant mistake and what the hell was I doing? I can’t remember anything she said but I do know one thing for sure: she was right.
I hope when the next stage comes along, I remember this part well. I have a feeling I’ll really miss it. Except for the beans.
