Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


I miss how my spellcheck always made it Whorehouse

Filed under : Music,The Internets
On June 2, 2009
At 11:15 pm
Comments :Comments Off on I miss how my spellcheck always made it Whorehouse

I don’t have an article from Billboard today, I just wanted to notate that the music industry was already in trouble before the Webernets! Yes, it’s true. It was because the traditional record store was under siege from Best Buy, Circuit City, and other big-box stores that used CD’s as loss leaders to get you to buy a fridge. Ooooh, CD for $9! Let’s buy a new printer too! Lots of stores like Musicland/Sam Goody, Wherehouse, Camelot and Specs (you do remember these stores, right?) were already losing money and floundering. It wasn’t long before they would all be gone. If you still buy CD’s and had to pick up the Fleet Foxes CD at a generic, ugly Best Buy with only the most popular of releases in the few racks left, you know what I mean.

But that’s sad. So let’s turn our attention to the best one-hit wonder of the 90’s to cheer ourselves up, shall we? This song is SO 90’s. The distorted vocals, the exploding head-banging chorus that obliterates the last word of the verse, the lady singer…oh yes, the lady singer. I always wanted to be this woman. The braces! The hair! The weird accent! And yet she was so utterly confident and dead sexy. And she always will be, thanks to this YouTube video. Hope you picked this one up at Whorehouse!


ZOMG, could this be the worst thing to happen to the music industry?

Filed under : Music,The Internets
At 1:15 am
Comments :Comments Off on ZOMG, could this be the worst thing to happen to the music industry?

In our week-long (I don’t know, I just made that up) series of “hilarious in hindsight” articles from old Billboard magazines now on Google, I present to you this gem from July 6, 1996: “Inquiries Spark Shutdown of Tape-Swap Site on AOL.” Yes, in ’96, the most awful threat from the Interwebs (or AOL, as we called it in those days) was people meeting online and exchanging cassette tapes. The horror! The horror!

The article informs us that the popular titles being exchanged were by Hootie & the Blowfish, Eric Clapton, and Nirvana. Nowadays, if you stated either that you used AOL to meet people or owned anything by Hootie & the Blowfish, it would just be assumed that you enjoyed cassette tapes.

But in a hint of the joy to come, there is this key line, which I’ll have to transcribe, as there’s no cutting & pasting in the archive (emphasis mine):

Online subscribers offered to exchange tapes with one another by mail, and apparently, some subscribers were using the site to download unauthorized copies of major-label albums.

Ouch. That doesn’t sound like it’s going to go well for the labels, does it?

In other news from ’96, there’s a big advertising section to celebrate the grand opening of the Virgin Megastore Times Square, the biggest record store in the country. All the labels chipped in big full-page ads (I guess they were making a lot of money or something!) to congratulate Virgin. I wonder how that all worked out….

Oh hey, I forgot this song existed. Thanks, Billboard 1996!