Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


It wasn’t me, it was the one-armed cousin

Filed under : Baseball
On February 18, 2009
At 1:15 am
Comments : 13

I’m a little high on Vicodin at the moment so bear with me.

You’ll laugh at that intro if you saw the A-Rod press conference today. I only saw the first bit and could barely hear even that as I was in the waiting room of my endodontist and the sound was turned way down on the fancee HDTV. But I did hear the first sentence and I was relieved that I did. See, when I was a kid, I never did homework. Never. God knows how I made it out of any grade. So when there was the sort of assignment that involved the teacher calling on you (“Becca, could you come up front and do your oral report?”) I’d get horrifically nervous, knowing that I’d have to say in front of my teacher and the entire class, “uh, sorry, I didn’t do my homework.” That never made me do the prep work the next time, though. I was young and stupid! My cousin in the Dominican told me it was harmless!


Today, (well, yesterday, but the Vikes made me fall asleep at 7 so now I’m awake watching Ace of Cakes on the Food Network) I had a root canal, my first ever, and I was super-nervous. It was at 1:30, coincidentally the same time as A-Rod’s press conference. And then I realized that at this very moment in time, I would rather be me than a multi-million dollar earning, fun baseball playing superstar. Because I’d prefer getting six painful shots and a vibrating drill stuck in my mouth over standing up in front of authority figures, my peers, and the whole world seemingly and having to say, “uh, I did the wrong thing and I have no real explanation – oops!” And if I was afraid that someone as public and savvy as A-Rod might not be as nervous as I would be, he started off by saying, “first, bear with me. I’m a little nervous or a lot nervous, so bear with me a little bit.” Awesome! The root canal was nowhere near as bad and that made me feel better.

PS, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: A-Rod is not a real Yankee and it has nothing to do with steroids. Thanks for understanding.

Howard Jones – No One Is To Blame


13 Comments for this post

  1. Alex says:

    It’s a shame you couldn’t hear more, Becca. I didn’t watch the press conference, but evidently he told reporters not once, but twice, that he had “come to take [his] medicine.” Surely, THAT will help him with his steroids problem!

    But he’s also “sorry,” and he was “young and stupid,” so I guess it’s all OK now.

  2. Irishcardinal says:

    A-Rod is the Eddie Haskell of Major League Baseball. I don’t hate him, but geez, does the man have no personality of his own?

  3. Maureen says:

    I don’t know from A-Rod. I just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon. Dental stuff is just the pits.

  4. Alfagee says:

    So is his un-Yankeeness directly proportional to his d-bagness?

  5. KP says:

    Irish hit the nail on the head. The man has never EVER had any personality to speak of, and I think ultimately that is why he was doomed to fail. I do not know a single person who has ever rooted for this guy. Sad, really.

  6. sarpon says:

    I can’t stand the “young and stupid” excuse. Anyone who truly makes an error due to youth and stupidity must perforce be too immature and unintelligent to recognize, much less acknowledge, his or her own juvenile idiocy.

    I am a bad baseball fan, though, because I don’t care if they serve steroids on the catering tables in clubhouses. It’s not as if major league players are regular ol’ human beings anyway.

  7. Becca says:

    Alex, I did later read the whole thing which is where my “young and stupid” and “got it from my cousin in DR” came from. DR, by the way, usually means Duane Reade but not here.

    Irish, he is rather bland. I think I fell asleep once while he was being interviewed.

    Maureen, thanks! And there’s more to come. Gah. Thank goodness for drugs.

    Alfa, I was never great at math but I’m going to have to say yes. Or pi.

    KP, someone must wear his shirt, though. I say, let’s go to (new) Yankee Stadium and ask one of those people!

    Sarpon, you know what? I don’t really care either. Except for Barry Bonds because he is just a freak of nature.

  8. Mary Schwacha says:

    Becca, one of these days I’m going to figure out my insane attraction to you as I don’t care for baseball or current music and I like pets and children.

    Which leaves us with kitchen remodeling and food as common ground. : )

    Just thinking about you lately and wanted to say “hi”.



  9. KP says:

    We are totally going to the new Stadium. Mortgage and groceries be damned!
    Honestly, I wish the whole steroid thing would just go away to so we can get on with the business of who’s new and sexy this year. I mean, that’s what baseball is really about, right?

    Who’s with me on this?

  10. Alfagee says:

    I’m just in it for the ballpark hotdogs and inane chanting (everybody clap your hands!).

  11. sarpon says:

    Clap clap clap clap clap clap.

  12. Irishcardinal says:

    Amen, KP! I’ve seen several cute ones on my team in the photos from Fla.

  13. Becca says:

    I’m just in it because Toad has a girl crush on me. Awesome!

Comments are closed.