Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


The white whale

Filed under : Life in general,Meta/Blognews,The Internets
On February 12, 2009
At 12:30 am
Comments : 8

Sorry, it’s another Facebook post. So if you’re one of those people who aren’t on Facebook, think of the things I could have written about, like A-Rod (so orange! what’s up with that?). But I’ve snagged my biggest find yet, my college suitemate (later housemate) with whom I lost touch soon after graduation. See, those are the most exciting sightings on there: the person with whom you are the closest and who you haven’t seen in the longest time. It’s easy to find people you’re tight with now (the “are you on Facebook? I should friend you” people) and it’s about as easy to find people you knew a long time ago with whom you would have comfortably lost touch after Middle School (these are the folks you sometimes have to think about for a minute before you accept their friendship, and then you have the a-ha moment, look at their page once, and proceed to re-forget them).

I have a mental list of the people I am desperate to find, people with whom I had a close friendship and saw or spoke to every day. I’m not sure whether it’s the hope of renewing the friendship or just wondering what the hell they have done for the last fifteen years. Probably not the first because I have many excellent friends in the here and now and really, that ship has sailed, hasn’t it? Do I have anything in common with them anymore? Maybe that’s what I’m hoping to find out. But my list, which had been, until recently, three, is down to one and a half. I say this because my suitemate, with whom I lived for the first two years of college, is still in touch with suitemate #2 and has given me news of her. She may join Facebook but it’s OK if she doesn’t, I suppose. We had a fourth housemate but she is the one college friend with whom I have maintained a steady friendship, so she’s not on the list.

Still, there is something bizarre about having a stilted e-mail exchange with someone with whom you once had fights about who would wash the dishes, took long bus rides with to distant malls, danced with to Depeche Mode songs. Someone who gave you haircuts and borrowed your clothes and called you nicknames no one calls you anymore. What do you say to that person all those years later? Apparently, I’m not sure, because I took a break from the labored e-mail to write this post. It’s still easier to blog. I don’t know whether we’ll be actual friends rather than just Mark Zuckerburg Trademark Friends, but when I see her picture now, I am almost disappointed to lose the last image I have of her, sitting across from me at a diner in Baltimore in 1994. Or wearing those high-waisted 80’s jeans with floppy 80’s hair. Don’t ask what I wore.

So, you may wonder, who is the #1, the white whale? I have mentioned her before so maybe you already know. It’s my high school BFF (one of two) and apparently, she has fallen off the face of the earth. But one thing I know to be true: unless she’s now living on another planet, she will eventually join Facebook.

For personal reasons… (and not on Napster, or on the album anymore).



8 Comments for this post

  1. Julia says:

    Hi Becca! Long time no comment! And it’s probably because I don’t get your updates on Facebook, sadly enough. Is there a way to remedy that??? I seem to need all of my internets condensed into one location.

    In any case, I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s hard to believe that what? a year ago? I just had to imagine what had happened to all of those people from my past and, well, now I know! I have made some big finds and have unfortunately had some of those awkward exchanges, while I am much closer now via Facebook to people that I didn’t know all that well in the past. Is it a function of actually having more in common with certain people now, or just having more similar Facebook styles, and is there even a difference these days? Hard to say, because it’s not like I have actually reconnected with anyone IN PERSON or anything.

  2. North of the City says:

    Talk about nostalgia!

  3. Becca says:

    Julia! How are you? How’s the baby? Let’s pretend this is your status update. Because I tend to not have very many. I don’t status about the weather or what I have in the oven.

    And yes, that’s a good question. What is the nature of a friendship that you renew online and never goes beyond that? I guess I’ll see how it all plays out – I’ve been on about a year now.

    North, it was the song wasn’t it? No, no, the high-waisted jeans.

  4. kb says:

    I had a long facebook chat last week with a girl I last saw in the sixth grade. Talk about weird!! “Hi how are you? You have grandkids now? But you’re only TWELVE!”

    I still need to find my sixth grade BFF. And the doctor’s daughter who was so pretty plus she could do everything she tried perfectly. And the little girl who cried all the time and got bullied for it. All moved away in sixth grade, forever lost (or so I thought). Maiden names are a big problem, but I still hold out hope I will find these three people. (Mishy Manhoff? Julie Cornell? Char Krebs?)

    Last week I met a girl I went to high school with at the movie theatre. We were never friends in high school, moved in totally different circles. Didn’t even really talk at the past two reunions. But then I found her on facebook a few months ago, and friended her so that I could see her friends and maybe find some more of mine. We never talked on facebook either. But at the movie theater … we chatted up a storm. Probably talked more there than we ever did in our entire lives. All because of facebook … I wouldn’t have been at that theater that night if it weren’t for a facebook invite from a mutual facebook friend (…someone I’ve never met, but the father of a girl I went to college with, who must have gone through all his daughter’s friends and friended us so that he could advertise the movies at his movie theater to us!)

    The show was excellent, by the way: the 2009 Oscar nominated short films. I highly recommend everyone see them!

  5. Alex says:

    Silly, Becca! We KNOW what you were wearing: striped pants.

  6. Julia says:

    Ha ha, I am definitely guilty of feeling the need to have a current status update at all times as boring as it may be. And you know what’s really sad? My husband and I are starting a 30 day exercise challenge today, where if either of us doesn’t exercise for a day we have to give up something on the next day. He can’t use his iPod touch…and I can’t go on Facebook. Yeah, I picked giving up Facebook as my punishment.

    The baby is great! She’s almost 9 months and developing quite a little personality.

  7. kb says:

    Julia, (spoken with gravity), I completely understand.

  8. Becca says:

    Well, as precocious as I was, Alex, I wasn’t in college at six. Although I kind of felt six.

    Julia, nine months wowzah! Time flies, I can’t believe it. And I would have a hard time giving up either. It’s sick, really.

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