Magic Jewball

Guess what arrived yesterday! My Philly Race For the Cure shirt! It is really, really pink. Ostensibly, it is white; however, it’s filled with so much hot-pink lettering that it’s hard to tell. There’s also some Spring green, These are two colors that you will rarely see me wear and never together. But I don’t mind! I was so happy to see it that I hung it up on a hanger, which isn’t really something I tend to do with t-shirts. I may never have seen it at all because I used a fake name over there and the postal carrier decided to deliver it to one of my neighbors. I’m not sure which one because all I heard last night were footsteps and a soft thud in front of my door. By the time I got to it, said neighbor was gone. I kind of wonder how long this neighbor had it because it was postmarked 3/29 and it isn’t such a long way from Philadelphia. I know this because I’ve taken that trip 400 times in my lifespan. Eight hundred if you remember that it’s on the way from Baltimore as well.

Along with the t-shirt I also received my bib number. I’ve never been so excited to be a number! I put that in the big pile of Important Stuff on my dresser where it can keep company with Cure tickets I’ve had for a year and the $5 off Zyrtec coupon. They also sent a Phillies schedule – awesome, just what I needed. No, really, I needed it so I could have a good segue into my next story.

This week I attended my first game of the last season at Yankee Stadium. It’s hard to remember it’s the last season because my father tends to talk a lot about the previous Yankee Stadium and the way you could see the 9th Avenue El converge with several other lines that may or may not still exist because there wasn’t so much advertising. That is, you could see them because of the not-yet-created advertising, that’s not why they converged.

Anyway, I went to get me a hot dog at the Kosher stand (we have one too!) which is someplace different than last year. Behind the booth were two young guys and one immediately got me a frankfurter (as my father calls it) and the other was supposed to ring me up. Except he didn’t see the already put together dog and started to get another one set up. The following conversation ensued.

Kosher Guy1: I already got her the hot dog
Kosher Guy2: You did? But I got a big one.
KG1: So did I! They’re all big.

You don’t even have to have as dirty a mind as Becca to know what I was thinking.

Me: Ummm…
KG2: Yes?
Me: Please don’t make me say what I’m thinking.
KG1, looking baffled: Go ahead!
Me: Whoever has the biggest hot dog, I’ll take that. Thanks!
Kosher guys: Bwahahahahahaha!

Yankees win… thaaaaaa Yankees win!

Title will be understood by precisely one reader but is one of the double entendres I have known and loved in my lifetime.

Martini Ranch – Hot Dog