Magic Jewball

But first, a story having nothing to do with the iSotW but not long enough for its own post. This morning I was woken up by the most polite wrong number caller ever! I actually thought the phone was my alarm. This is because I use the phone as my alarm. It sounds exactly like I’m getting a phone call! Except there’s no one there, it’s just the phone saying, “duh, you set me, dumbass.” But today there was actually someone there. The fact that it was three hours before the time for which I had set it mattered little to me because, um, I had three hours less sleep than usual and wasn’t entirely sure what time it was. Or what year it was. It’s funny how that works. Clearly my voice communicated this fact to the caller who said, “Oh, I must have made a mistake. I am SO sorry that I woke you at this hour. Is this 555-6666?” I was so flummoxed at his sincere sounding apology that I put on my super-helpful voice and said, “No, you must have misdialed, it’s 555-6667.” He apologized again and I actually thanked him for apologizing. That’s how sleepy I was.

OK, so once I was awake that early, I couldn’t really fall back asleep right away so I listened to this show on the radio called “Breakfast With the Beatles.” Luckily, not the dead half. Even though there is a finite limit to how many Beatles songs exist they somehow manage to fill an hour or two with requests every Sunday. I’m not totally sure how many hours because if I am awake while this thing is on it means I am hardly a happy, attentive camper. But I was listening and the first request was Fool on the Hill. And it was dedicated to Roger Clemens. Ahahahahahaha! That was just brilliant, even though I actually believe Roger Clemens. You can pick which of these things you want to be the punchline to this story.

Right, onto our song. This past week contained one of my favorite holidays. Yes, Friday was Half-Priced Chocolate Sale Day. It rocked! But before that some other people celebrate Valentine’s Day, a holiday that makes me retch whether or not I am dating someone. If you are one of my exes you will immediately recall how unromantic I am. Perhaps this is why we are exes. But I digress. The London Telegraph ran a piece about the 50 Best Love Songs of the 80’s which thrilled me not only because I am an 80’s music nutcase but also because most music I listened to in the 80’s came from the UK and this list was sure to focus on that. It was a really odd assortment (Bizarre Love Triangle, really?) and nothing was odder than the choice somewhere in the middle of the list of Soft Cell’s “Say Hello, Wave Goodbye.” You may only know Soft Cell from “Tainted Love” but this is actually my favorite song by them (you thought it would be Sex Dwarf, didn’t you?). It’s a wistful, poignant look back at a relationship the singer clearly thinks should never have begun in the first place. And even if the end is kind of hopeful, it isn’t the sort of song one plays at one’s wedding. To wit, the chorus:

Take your hands off me
I don’t belong to you, you see
Take a look at my face
For the last time
I never knew you
You never knew me
Say hello, Goodbye
Say hello, wave goodbye

So I can’t agree with the Telegraph that this is a love song but I will accede to this description they give: “Great tune, gripping lyrics, heroic vocal by Marc Almond.” So true. But maybe Sex Dwarf would have been a more romantic choice.

Napster:
Soft Cell – Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

Streaming audio available on the iPod Song of the Week page.