Magic Jewball

Ever get a sunburn on top of another sunburn? It’s attractive and comfortable. Score! But let’s take our minds away from that, shall we, and document another action-packed day at the greatest event in the world, the US Open. Today I took lots of pictures. Why? Because it saves me from having to write too much (you’ve heard of that whole thousand word thing, I’m sure) and I’m awfully tired.

Because I love you, all photos enlarge upon your click.

This is the entrance to the US Open. Here you get your bag checked and, similar to the airport, they seem to find a different thing wrong with your possessions each time you go through. One day, the woman wanted to confiscate my lip gloss. Because shiny lips are a public threat.

After that, you are supposed to move on to the gate to have your ticket scanned. For some reason, people like to dawdle here, I don’t know why. Today, a woman with a megaphone was on the case. “It’s not hard, people,” she boomed. “You can move forward. This is New York, you have to move faster.” Amen, sister.

We started our day at Court 11 in the hopes of seeing Shahar Peer demolish Bethanie Mattek. She obliged.

Then it was off to the packed Grandstand (remember? everyone loves a Brit) to see Andy Murray play Jonas “Pops” Bjorkman. It was a tight match! Then we showed up and it became a blowout. Once we left, it went back to being a close match. Murray eventually won but we were long gone.

This is a view of one of the smaller courts where we saw Sebastien Grosjean play Max Mirnyi. Look how close I was! I was so close I could see Grosjean give the umpire the stinkeye and hear him say “good job” sarcastically when a call finally went his way. Court 13 proved an unlucky number for Mirnyi; he lost in four sets.

“Hey man, nice racket.” “Thanks, there was this sale at the Sports Authority and….” Oh, that’s not what this picture is of! It’s Guastavo “Guga” Kuerten, one of the most beloved players ever, and Robby “I’m done dating movie stars” Ginepri playing doubles. It was really fun. Until they lost. But Guga kept on smiling, even then. That might have something to do with why everyone loves him. Also, that whole “I look and move like Gumby” thing.

In between, sunblock was applied uselessly, ice cream was enjoyed, a huddle of Yankee fans analyzed Joba Chamberlain in the stands while Arnaud Clement served blissfully unaware, and more horrifically long lines were waited on than in a week at Disney World.

Here’s a quiz: who is the most entertaining person on the tour? Why, if you’d been a faithful reader of J-Ball, you’d know. It’s Fabrice Santoro, of course. And tonight he was playing James Blake on the main court which meant I had to high-tail it home in order to catch it. It was worth it. Here’s Santoro sticking his tongue out across the net at Blake. As if his shirt weren’t entertainment enough.

See you tomorrow! If I’m alive!