Snappy answers to stupid questions – June
This is a little delayed this month due to the holiday, which I’m reminded of as I write this with the sound of fireworks overhead. Go America! Woo!
Anyway, let’s begin.
sent from crackberry
This is my signature phrase. Literally, because I managed to change my Blackberry signature to actually say it.
dale and thomas popcorn news
Wow, I love that paper. I need to subscribe. Anyway, they closed the one near me. That was all the news I cared about.
famous world changing spanish people
Rafael Nadal? He’s changed men’s tenniswear and that is SO important. The ass-picking has to stop, though.
roger clark matzoh
Two things I find hard to swallow.
things to occupy you at work
Might I suggest this blog?
why aren’t crabs kosher
I really should do a Jew&A but basically, because the Bible says only fish with fins and scales are, and crabs have neither. Wait, you meant the shellfish kind, right?
are famous people above the law
No, just Republicans.
the portagees
They live next door to the Spanneesh.
nude women with mayonnaise on breasts
Oh gosh, I must have deleted that post. Sorry!
culotte de golovin
See, here’s the story. You’re only supposed to wear white at Wimbledon. That includes your bright red underwear showing underneath your see-through white dress, Tatiana Golovin.
how to stop itunes plus
Shoot Steve Jobs?
what kind of clothes jewish people wear at a birth
I’m told I wasn’t wearing anything at the time. You’re welcome!
sexy hookers in fayetteville
Is this fair? Don’t the non-sexy hookers deserve some cash?
are scallops trafe
I spell that treyf but someone on my blog (I’ll wager it was Alex) must have spelled it the way you do. Anyhoo, yep, but my brother-in-law turned me onto fake scallops and if you’ve never had the real thing they taste just fine. To my goyish friends, treyf is Yiddish for non-Kosher. And goyish is Yiddish for not Jewish. And not Jewish is English for gentile.
cyclobenzaprine
This has got to be from one of my comments. I don’t even know what this is, how could I have blogged about it?
joy division essay
I’ve never read it but I’ll bet it’s super-cheerful.
whatever happened to kris kross?
That’s what I want to know!
jewish people eat lots of
…everything.
garden apartment and brownstone and mice
I would hang onto that no matter how many mice there are, pal.
orthodox jewish long underwear
You might be thinking of the Mormons. Or not. I don’t really know anything about the Mormons except people think they’re freaky too. It’s like we’re cousins!
wordpress festive dates
Yesterday? That’s the day I switched to WordPress. And it’s all about me. (That would be yesterday last year, I didn’t actually switch to WordPress yesterday.)
pebbles flintstone myspace
Does she have a lot of friends or is it just Bam Bam and Dino?
famous people and the shoes they wore
I’ll bet there are thirty blogs devoted to this. This, sadly, is not one of them.
not your woman song
Oh I love that song! I’ll make it the Napster link. OK, one-time visitor?
rap music made for women playing sports
It all is! If you consider dancing with your ass sticking out a sport.
denver jury duty ipod
Wow, that’s even more niche than the U2 iPod.
And the ungrammatical search of the month award goes to…
the song that blake lewis sung on american idol called something only we know
I done thought it was “Somewhere Only We Know” by them boys in Keane.
Finally, the top 5 searches after “Jewball” and “is Tennis Player X Jewish”:
1. federer karaoke
2. madison square garden cure tickets presale (and variations)
3. keane nyc concert review central park (and variations)
4. boy george
5. gone till november meaning (and variations)
Happy 4th, everyone!
D’oh! Napster doesn’t have Your Woman by White Town. I’ll just have to post it myself.
