Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


I love this city, part 367

Filed under : Famous People,Life in general,New York City
On June 29, 2007
At 12:15 am
Comments : 7

People think you run into celebrities all the time in NY, and I won’t lie to you, you do. It just depends on what your definition of “celebrity” is. Many years ago, many being “greater than ten,” I used to watch a cable access show each week that was on the Manhattan Neighborhood Network, MNN being “home for wackadoos before websites were so easy to create.” And this woman was one freaky wackadoo. I mean, she had a lot of thoughts on her mind and she wanted to share them: about open-mindedness, about the power of myth, about loving oneself and others. If you are wondering what the fuck I was doing watching that sort of thing, I ask you to imagine all that said in the most hypnotic and soothing voice possible, like honey, at exactly the time you were trying to fall asleep at night. She was like a drug, a crazy, crazy dose of Ambien.

But then she disappeared off of MNN and ever since then I’ve been trying to find out where she went, albeit in a half-assed way. I’ve missed her long extemporaneous diatribes couched in the most earnest and sincere manner. “I’m a mystic!” she would say. “I am a healer.” And I miss the way she would go from tangent to tangent and never make it back to her original point. But that was OK because she never really had one or at least it wasn’t one that you or I could understand. All that mattered is that she lulled me into blissful sleep. She has a website but it hasn’t been updated in forever. I kind of gave up and turned to the real Ambien. Which you wouldn’t know from the time my posts tend to appear but whatever.

Anyway, I was at a local shop, a big shop, with an information desk, and I went to ask where the item I needed might be. And there she was, the MNN Wackadoo Lady. I felt like I was in a dream, the kind you have when you actually sleep at night. But she was real. Right in front of me. In the most mundane job in the universe. I did what I always do when I’m face-to-face with a famous person (yeah, yeah, she’s not Angelina Jolie, but she’s famous to me): I give them a little “I know who you are” eyebrow waggle and see if they return it with a “yep, I’m ____ !” look. She kind of did. And then I decided to just go for it and say, “Linda?” She was surprisingly unfazed that I knew who she was (I mean, did I mention? She’s not Angelina Jolie) but seemed pleased that I remembered her and that I told her I wished she were back on the air. She had a lot of reasons, “I lost my producer, these things take money, I lost my web designer, blah blah blah.”

If you’re wondering why I haven’t mentioned her name it’s because I told her a lot of nice, uh, less than truthful things about herself, like that she had significant things to say and added meaning to people’s lives. I don’t want her to Google herself and find that the chick who said those things actually just thought she was a nutjob with a smooth, smooth voice. But of course, if you watched MNN at a certain point in time, you may know who I’m talking about. And the truth is, she did mean a lot to me. I searched for her for years! Sometimes you just have to go to the shop down the street and ask at the information desk.

The Jesus and Mary Chain – Just Like Honey


7 Comments for this post

  1. KP says:

    These little stories are reason 367 why I love this blog.

  2. kay says:

    Wow, that is so cool. That’s sorta like Tim from 9Pals except that I’ve never seen him again. Tim from 9Pals did these silly kids’ segments on our local news and what the head of the 9Pals club, and then poof! he was gone. Just like that. No warning or anything. I’ve looked for him for years. There’s a rumor he’s in Florida but that’s too far for me to go look. Maybe Linda knows where he is?

  3. JF says:

    I liked this story very much.

  4. Becca says:

    Kay, it was ridiculously cool. I left that store in a glow of amazement. I’m sure she does know where Tim is, though. She is, after all, a mystic. I really think all information desks should have them.

    Thanks, KP & JF… it’s good to be able to share life’s surprises. Otherwise, I’d probably explode from all of them.

  5. sarpon says:

    A mystic with a soothing voice could have her pick of jobs in Manhattan. But of course, she would know this already.

  6. Becca says:

    I always assumed she was doing that other job that involved a smooth voice.

  7. Celia says:

    It was not uncommon to run into celebrities in Charlottesville. There were two main reasons for this. First, the definition of celebrity was more generous. The local weatherman, for example. And because he was truly LOCAL (not like in the D.C. metro viewing area, where the guy who tells you the weather in Rockville MD might live in Herndon VA), you could run into him all over town. Look! It’s Robert Van Winkle in the produce section!

    The second was that there were a bunch of actual celebrities living there, and it being a small place, there weren’t that many places for them to go about the usual business of life–shopping, dining, getting their kids educated, etc. So you could spot Sissy Spacek at the Barracks Road Shopping Center because everyone needs to buy stuff some times.

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