Magic Jewball

So yesterday I got a little message (how isn’t important but it wasn’t via bird or telegraph, I assure you) that the software that’s used to run this blog (WordPress) has just been updated. The biggest new thing about it is that it’s got built-in support for sidebar-widgets. I know that sounds like something they manufacture on the Jetsons but it’s actually the ability to put cute little things in your sidebar and move them around as you wish. I mean, I have a few fun things now but they were stuck there manually. I began to wonder if it was worth all the work to make my design function with these widget things. So I had a look at the WordPress widget directory. Here are some of the widgets on offer (I’m just going to include the descriptions and not the titles so as not to embarrass the designers who I’m sure worked very hard on these things):

Add an ‘About Me’ with image/blurb/links to your sidebar
Sounds suspiciously like something I already have.

Allows entry and display of latest AV fuel prices
How…. useful.

Outputs your Battlefield 2 profile statistics
This is surely what my blog has been lacking.

Template widget for caching widget content
I don’t even know what this means.

Display charts in sidebar
I can see it now: “Becca’s blogging productivity, downward trending.”

Display your list of favorite beers and pubs.
Oh, but how could I make these all fit in one container?

Display information about Indonesia
What, you don’t know everything already?

Controls color and size of adsense ads
NO ADS, NO.

Display your location with Google Maps as a widget
It’s Manhattan. In New York. In the USA. North America, Earth. You’ll just have to visualize it in your mind.

Add UK Lib Dem campaign buttons.
Tempting, but will the colors match my theme?

Display your favorite stock quotes
Up is usually my favorite.

Show link to Amazon book read
Too humiliating.

Allows bloggers to promote other good bloggers
Isn’t that what the links area is for?

Displays ‘festive dates’.
The quotation marks around ‘festive’ scare me.

Allow visitors to translate your blog
Have you used Google translate? If not, here’s an actual sample:
“The things should hardly be arranged by the end of the century. A modeling recent, carried out by NASA and published in April in the Newspaper of Climate, indicates that by 2085, the summers will become extremely hot in the United States. The temperature could spread out of 38 oC with 42 oC on most of the American territory.”
[editor’s note: scary!]

Places the verse of the day (biblegateway.net) in your sidebar
Oh, hell to the no.

A widget for WP Polls
How much are people annoyed by polls:
a. a lot
b. exponentially
c. Ask me again and I kill you.

Displays the Last.fm Track played most recently
If they had this for AOL Radio, I’d do it. But Last.fm always tells me the artist I want isn’t available. And who wants that in your sidebar? Poll answer: not me.

Displays your clock in your sidebar
Excellent for a link to “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?” but other than that I can’t think of a reason.

Adds a customizable Skype “Call me” button to your sidebar
I love you all but please don’t call me.

Allow visitors to send SMS messages to your mobile device
Preferable, but still no.

Display users on-line
Do you really want everyone knowing you’re reading this blog right now?

Come to think of it, I think I’ll remain unwidgetized for the time being.

Chicago – Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?