Magic Jewball

In my continuing efforts to satisfy the needs of people who will never come back to my site, entertain my faithful readers, and come up with a monthly concept, I present “Snappy answers to stupid questions: The Series.” I’ve tried to leave out the things I’ve previously covered including but not limited to the usual “is Andy Roddick circumcised?” queries.

And away we go!

jewgle
This was my idea! Mine! Mine!

breaking up two people with magic
Why, what have you heard?

bar mitzvah pant give aways
Actually, my niece did this (technically a bat mitzvah pant giveaway) and it was da bomb. Unless you’re talking about some sort of newfangled party game.

laptops acceptable in jury duty new york
Wow, someone might actually already have their answer. You’re welcome!

im kosher so i can’t have cookies
I assume you learned otherwise here. As a matter of fact, I made something called Chocolate Chip Crack this weekend and I’ve decided to just stop eating any other food.

who invented school because i hate it
I think my 10 year old self Googled this.

lush overpriced
Totally agree. Luckily, in a free society we can shop elsewhere.

entertain becca
A fine ambition for any person.

is paul banks single?
I believe so, but if not, try answer #2.

breakfast in america jewish sounding
Hm, that first slowish intro, maybe. Or is it the kippers for breakfast part?

take off bob and doug torrent
Or, you know, you could buy it from iTunes the way I did.

why cant jewish people use the computer on fridays
You must have those last two days of the week confused. It could happen to anyone.

magic day in ny
It’s always a magic day in NY! If you’re on drugs.

boy george do you really want to hear me
After the 80’s not many people did, that was the trouble.

my hair absorbs the smell of food
I’ll pray for you.

i’ve had my macbook for five months
It’s like we’re twins! Except I’ve only had mine for three.

the police presale awful
Tell me about it, brother. But I finally got tickets so I’ve stopped caring.

shahar bier australian tennis player
Ummmm….perhaps you mean Shahar Peer the Israeli tennis player? Otherwise, what a striking coincidence.

2 oz k y jelly
Are you sure that’s all you’ll need?

who liked the killers concert
I love polls! In fact, it seemed like a lot of people there did.

why do the deftones have the worst videos ever made
Gosh, I never really thought about this till you said it, mystery searcher, but I believe you are correct. I really don’t know. Allow me to theorize that their fans are all out in the skatepark and don’t really care what the visuals are. I know I don’t. I mean, how could you put better images to the last part of Pink Cellphone than already exist in your own head?

magic eat ball
In English we spell that “eight.”

chag sameach hebrew spelling
חג שמח
You should have tried Jewgle.

barmitzvah candy bars
OK, this is getting out of hand. What do you think this is, Party411.com?

famous people and food
It’s my understanding that they also have a need for it.

famous people that have ipods
Are there any famous people who don’t have iPods?

are there issues being expressed in the song you can get it if you really want by jimmy cliff and what are these issues.
I’m thinking that perhaps Google needs some more instruction on their homepage on the best way to do a search.

mauresmo jokes
Oh, I am so above that. Some of the time.

i dont read blogs
Because this is of course CNN.

i hate duane reade
Preach it!

bondage in chicago
I’m guessing you didn’t stay here long, huh?

And, needless to say, still no clues on the Andy Roddick thing.

Deftones – Pink Cellphone
(not safe for work, children, or Grandma)