Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Water main heartbreak

Filed under : New York City
On February 15, 2007
At 4:10 pm
Comments : 11

What’s a day in NYC without a little disruption due to 100 year old infrastructure? Not my day yesterday, that’s for sure. People say “oh, it’s just a little ice and freezing rain” but when nothing really works correctly in the first place there can be so much more fun than that!

All I was looking for was Thai food and a bottle of wine on V-Day with my also recently unattached friend… oh wait, maybe she wants to be private, who knows? I’ll call her C. Anyhoo, C., one of my bestest friends, lives a short walk away from me on the corner of 96th and Broadway and it was going to be easy-peasy. She ordered the food, I got the wine, I put on my little snow-proof shoes and off I went. Except when I got there, the entire intersection seemed to be a pool of water with chunks of snow in it. I couldn’t really figure out how the snow was melting so quickly in 18 degree weather. Cars from all directions were doing broken U’s to get the hell out of there.

That’s when I looked up 96th Street to see that a river of water was pouring down one side of the street and sidewalk. If you haven’t been to the Upper West Side recently (or ever), it’s quite hilly. Broadway is much lower than Amsterdam and this water was coming down in a torrent. I call C. “I’m right across the street.” She seems baffled, like, so, uh, come on over! Yeah, see, your building has a moat in front of it and I forgot my horse in my apartment. She comes to the window and looks. Holy fuck! She’s trapped in her building. I’m trapped outside her building. Meanwhile, despite it being frigid, a crowd has gathered.

I mean, why not? There’s a lot to see. There are firetrucks by now, firemen wandering around, cops consulting with each other, and should you have anything to do on the north side of 96th St. you are shit out of luck. One guy puts two post office mail cartons on his feet and sloshes across. A car actually goes through the intersection and people start screaming (that usually makes cars go faster, actually, in my experience) and in the very center the car is almost totally submerged with only the window level and up showing. But it makes it through and speeds off.

That’s it, I tell C., I am out of there. C. says there’s no way the delivery guy is going to come anyway. Hey, at least I have my bottle of wine! Later she calls me to tell me that despite the fact that her roommate had to be carried in by a fireman (why didn’t I think of that?) the delivery guy naturally made it just fine. These guys live with 25 other people in a tiny apartment, they need every dime! Sadly, he did not know enough English to explain to C. how he made it across the river in his little sneakers. Another New York mystery.

I went home and fell asleep watching Lost. I have it on DVR; don’t tell me what happens.

NY Post article

Love and Rockets – Waiting For The Flood


11 Comments for this post

  1. Sarpon says:

    So this is your excuse for failing to deliver my truffle?

  2. Becca says:

    No, that was because I ate it.

    Oh fuck, there never was a truffle. It was metaphorical.

  3. Sarpon says:

    Next time you get me a metaphorical gift, can it be a pony?

  4. KP says:

    Thai food, wine and firemen sounds like a way better VDay than I had, even if you never got the Thai food.

    Can I pretend this happened to me?

  5. Soxy says:

    As someone who knows more about mail than anyone really should, I believe it is illegal to use mail cartons to wade through a deluge.

    But I won’t tell my people. I’m good like that.

  6. Becca says:

    Sarpon, I already got you metaphorical world peace, sorry.

    KP, sure. If you’re drinking Pinot Noir you’re already halfway there.

    Soxy, and there were so many cops! How brazen of him.

  7. PJ says:

    Wow, you are one funny chick. Just popped by for the first time today and totally love your blog. Hooked already.

  8. Magpiesmamere says:

    I believe they discovered that it wasn’t a water main break, but the angry tears of one thousand potential Bridezillas who didn’t get their 2-8 carats that day.

    Sad clowns.

  9. Orbeck says:

    Wow, that’s me! I’m C. How exciting. I’ve never been blogged about before (at least that I KNOW of). Too bad I’m too much of a loser to not read it until 3 weeks later. Ho hum…

  10. Becca says:

    Just for you I’ll even comment 3 weeks later. Yes, another person outs herself on JBall! Happy, happy day.

  11. Orbeck says:

    You rule. From reading the replies I now want a truffle (not the fungus kind, the chocolate kind).

Comments are closed.