Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Take Off, eh?

Filed under : America,Gadgets,International
On February 12, 2007
At 10:05 pm
Comments : 18

Yeah, I’ve had my MacBook Pro less than three months and it’s already giving me agita. Tonight it wouldn’t start up. I mean, you could hear things going on but the screen stayed stubbornly black. It was almost worse than nothing happening at all. “Something’s happening in there! Show me! What’s going onnnnnnnn……..??????”

In the process of trying to troubleshoot I got a CD stuck in there too. Nice going, Becca. So I decided to hand it over to the professionals. I got a geeky sounding guy with such a thick Canadian accent that I almost asked him the score in the Saskatoon Blades game. The conversation went like this.

Apple Guy: So with the computer turned off, press P,R, Command, and Option at the same time then press power, keep holding power till you hear two chimes.
Me: So I’m pressing five keys at the same time? With human hands?
AG: No, you push P, R, Command, and Option, then the power button.
Me: But how will the computer register this if I’m not pressing power simultaneously? I think you mean I need to press all five.
AG repeats word for word what he previously said.
Me: OK, but the power button is pretty far away. I’m not sure this is possible. Have you played Twister at all?
AG: Maybe you should put the phone down.
I try, it is just possible. I almost have to use my elbow.
Me: OK, but I don’t hear any chimes.
LOUD sustained beep sounds.
Me: Well, if you want to call that a chime.
AG: Is it starting?
The Apple logo pops up, my desktop screen appears in seconds as if nothing had happened, and the CD ejects.
Me: God bless y-
I rethink if that’s politically correct and somehow in my confusion it comes out as “God bless America.” I have no idea how, as I never actually say that in normal, everyday speech.
AG: I’m Canadian.
Me: I meant North America.

Oh dear. At least my computer works.

Bob & Doug McKenzie – Take Off


18 Comments for this post

  1. Lydia says:

    The “God Bless America” made me do not so pretty things with the congestion in my nose and sinuses.

    I am glad, however, that the computer seems to be back in working order.

  2. Sarpon says:

    I need a new word for the snortly-snarky-beevisy laughter this elicited from me.

    But see, if you had a Dell, you’d have spoken with some nice guy in Mumbai who never would have admitted he didn’t come from Cleveland.

  3. KP says:


    I spent so much time talking to a customer service guy about my computer one day that when my husband called him back the next day to ask another question and gave his name, he told him in a delighted voice “tell your wife I said hi”.

    Oh yeah, my husband was thrilled about that one.

  4. Becca says:

    Thanks, Lydia. It wouldn’t have been so funny had it not ended so well.

    Sarpon, I did deal with a guy like that for my ReplayTV. I spent 50% of the phone call saying, “come on, your name isn’t really Dave, is it?”

    Oh, and KP, “Dave” did start e-mailing me after that. I used the “my boyfriend doesn’t like strange guys from India e-mailing me” response.

  5. KP says:

    It must be our sexy come hither phone voices that gets them Bec.

    I don’t think they can see our racks over the phone line.

    Can they?

  6. Soxy says:

    By the time I got my wireless set up, I knew the guy on the phone was from the Philipines and wanted to come live in the US with his uncle in Jersey (blech), but thought he was too young at 25. And he kept asking if my husband was going to be mad that I didn’t have dinner ready for him. I felt very close to him after the two freaking hours it took to get the computer all set (the first hour I didn’t even have the wireless switch turned on).

  7. Lisatagio says:

    You need a 21 year old son, a 24 year old son, and a PC. The PC because it’s better than a Mac, and the sons to fix it (or teach you how) whenever it breaks. Customer service! I laugh on you!

  8. Becca says:

    KP, I try not to make my tech calls on Skype. Otherwise, yes.

    Soxy, so was your husband mad?

    Tag, I’m sorry, I couldn’t read further after you said a PC was better than a Mac.*

    *Steve Jobs requires me to say that in order to continue to get tech support.

  9. Sarpon says:

    Yes, we’ve seen the commercials with the cool guy represeting the Mac and the notcool guy representing the PC. Sadly for Steve, we also know which guy is smart enough to write his own material for his appearances on the Daily Show.

    Nice try, though.

  10. Barbara says:

    Thanks for my first lowell of the day, Becca. I am still laughing at your quick recovery, ‘I meant North America’. That was beautiful!

  11. Soxy says:

    Nah. He just made a PB & J sandwich. He couldn’t believe the guy kept asking though. Clearly he didn’t know how it works in Casa de Sox

  12. mb says:

    This truly made me snort and choke on my coffee.

    The responses are great, as usual.

    We had that with Comcast customer support – “Where are you located?” “Somewhere in the midwest” “Oh, so you’re not local” “No, not really – but I’m not supposed to give out the location”. wtf?

  13. Becca says:

    I am actually one of the few people who don’t think the Mac is the greatest computer ever. Apropos of nothing, the computer did the same thing to me yesterday. YaY!

    Barbara, I’m not sure he bought it. 😉

    Soxy, at least you buy him popcorn.

    MB, thanks! Probably so that you won’t go shoot him if things don’t work out.

  14. Alex says:

    Joke stolen from the Car Talk web site:

    A small plane bound for Seattle was delayed because of fog at the airport. The plane circled and circled above the cloud bank until the pilot began to worry about running out of fuel. He saw a small hole in the overcast below, and decided to take a chance. He pointed the plane through the hole and emerged below the low overcast, but he had no idea where he was.

    He spied a nearby office building with an open window. As he passed the window, he hollered out the window of his plane, “Where am I?” He circled the building, and when he came around the other side, the fellow in the office shouted back, “You’re in an airplane!”

    With that, the pilot wheeled the plane around, flew straight to the airport, and landed safely as the fuel supply dwindled to fumes.

    Safely on the ground, his passengers asked, “How did you manage to find the airport like that?”

    The pilot answered, “Simple. The answer from that man in the office was 100% factual, but completely unhelpful. Obviously, that was the office for Technical Support at Microsoft. From there, it’s 11 miles due east to the airport.”

  15. Julia says:

    Has anyone else noticed that there is alternating Mac marketing that either 1. hates on Vista or 2. brags about the fact that you can run Vista on a Mac? A little something for everyone, I suppose.

  16. Becca says:

    Alex, haaaa. There’s one about the Microsoft car as well. If it stops for no particular reason, you close all the windows, turn it off, turn it back on, and open all the windows again.

    Julia, I hear Vista is quite fast on the Mac. However, since I got my Mac to get away from spyware I’m really at a loss as to why I’d ever use it.

  17. kb says:

    next time that happens, try this first: close the cover, wait three seconds, then open it again.

    Strangely, that works for me almost always.

  18. Becca says:

    kb, I did try that and alas it was the same. Several other annoying things have happened since. Can an Apple be a Lemon?

Comments are closed.