Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Give the people what they want

Filed under : Tennis
On January 23, 2007
At 11:40 am
Comments : 8

You know, when I asked for Jew&A questions it never occurred to me that there’d be just one pressing issue on everyone’s mind.

Yes, I’m the #1 listing on Google for this conundrum of our time and seventy people lately have wanted to know badly enough to come on over. How frustrating it must be to visit my site and find that there’s no answer to be had here and that I have just answered you with another question, that is, just exactly why do you care? I know how irritating this must be because I had the same sort of conversation with my niece yesterday.

She: Do you want to buy Girl Scout Cookies?
Me: Hm, what kinds are there?
She: Samoas, Trefoils, Tagalongs-
Me: Which ones were the Tagalongs again?
She: Peanut butter
Me: Mmmm, peanut butter. I should ask people at work. When can I let you know?
She: By tomorrow.
Me: And when will I get them?
She: Sunday
Me: Should I call you back tomorrow night or do you like e-mail better?

So you see, my poor niece had just one basic question for me and I answered her with, by my count, five more questions. And I still forgot to ask how much they are. I’m sure she’s gone and chosen a more accommodating aunt by this time.

Realizing this, I’ve decided to actually give the answer to this sweet mystery of life. It’s not that I don’t get it. Last night, the whole Jewish world watched with pride as Israeli Shahar Peer held her own against Venus Williams on the big court at the Australian Open. It was a photo finish, 8-6 Venus in the third. The very next match was Mardy Fish against Andy Roddick. I feel pretty confident that all around the globe Jews were wondering whether they should stay up or not. They Googled and MSN’d and Yahoo Searched and, did I mention, I’m the #1 answer. (Andy steamrolled Mardy, by the way.)

So, without further ado, I present this picture from Mardy’s very own web site.

Do these folks look Jewish to you? You’re welcome!

The Kinks – Give The People What They Want


8 Comments for this post

  1. donniesgirlme says:

    Girl Scout cookies are $3.50 a box….

    You’re welcome!

  2. Sarpon says:

    That’s very good turnaround time for Girl Scout cookies. Your niece is to be encouraged.

    You could repost my daughter’s picture. I’d remind you that little colleen is Jewish. And I grew up hearing the insult disguised as a compliment, “But you don’t look Jewish.” You never know.

    The only solution is for Becca to sleep with Mardy Fish.

  3. KP says:

    I’d do him.

    Please tell me he is over 18.

  4. Becca says:

    DGM, it varies by geographic area, though. But I believe you are correct on this one!

    Sarpon, so how many boxes should I put you down for?

    Re: Mardy’s equipment, I’m not sure in this day and age one can definitively tell by that method. Although you can rule it out, I’ll say that. And no more.

    Sheezus, is it hot in here?

  5. KP says:

    No Bec, that’s just me and Mardy working up a sweat.

    By playing tennis of course.

  6. Emeraldmph says:

    Speaking of looking Jewish, my then-black-haired grandmother (WAY back in the day) once was presented with an award for “Prettiest Jewish Girl on the Beach” in Marblehead, MA. Not bad except that she’s Catholic.

    I take full responsibility if anyone is offended by this story, but I just find the concept to be very interesting. I wonder who was giving this award and why? I’ll have to ask about that.

  7. Becca says:

    KP, naturally.

    Em, I’m not terribly PC, have no fear. And these other people? They don’t count. 😛

  8. Simon Zelig says:

    They look a lot like goyim to me.

Comments are closed.