Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


World in motion

Filed under : America,Famous People,Sports
On January 12, 2007
At 3:57 pm
Comments : 16

This morning, and when I say this morning, I mean morning, i.e. 4:30am I heard that Becks is coming to America. For anyone who isn’t as global as I am, that’s David Beckham, the British then Spanish soccer star. You may remember him from such cutesy films as Bend It Like Beckham, although I don’t think he was actually in that. The reason I’m fascinated by this news is hard to sort out. But for you, dear reader, I’m going to try.

I think Posh & Becks are the perfect storm of things that go over well in Europe (I’m sorry to my Britfriends but I’m including the UK in Europe here) but here not so much.

1. Metrosexual, fashionable guys

2. Soccer

3. Posh & Becks as the ultimate celebrity couple

4. Soccer

According to the news bite I saw this morning, Becks is coming here because this is the only place on the planet that isn’t into soccer (he used the word soccer! really!) and he wants to change that. The NY Times says it’s because he’s old and over and oh yeah, the money’s good. I think we all know that LA is more Posh & Becks than Madrid anyway. But I seriously doubt that this will change anything. Speaking as someone who actually watched the World Cup from various bars (if you don’t remember those posts, use the handy search function, I’m too lazy to link you) I have to say, this is truly the world’s most boring game. And if anyone thinks that someone who moisturizes is going to get men into soccer, you clearly come from some other country.

But what about women? Women love soccer! They play soccer! Yes, yes, it’s all fun & games when your kid or Mia Hamm is playing, but in between those things there just isn’t going to be a fanbase there. Unlike Europe, women in the US actually give birth to children and they’re busy.

So let me just say to Becks, the LA Whatevers who have signed him, and the rest of the world: WE ARE DIFFERENT FROM YOU. Not better, not worse, just different. Yes, we like different things. Our clothes are different. Our music is different. And we don’t do soccer, except as a funky, niche product. But it’s going to be a lot of fun watching Becks trying to prove me wrong. I believe either way it’s going to be highly amusing.

New Order – World In Motion