Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Chi-town confidential

Filed under : Travel
On January 8, 2007
At 2:40 pm
Comments : 17

OK, so now for the real post, which is hard because all the caffeine seems to have worn off. I guess I should just be glad to still be alive, however. Rockin’. So how tired am I? So tired that I paid the Korean bodega lady this morning for my banana with what I thought was a quarter but instead turned out to be a Euro. Then I stared at her blankly as she tried to give it back to me. Oops. Especially because I’m supposed to be holding onto that Euro for a friend with whom I lost a bet. I guess I shouldn’t be carrying it around with the rest of my change.

But I digress. Anyway, have you ever boarded a plane with absolutely no luggage? And by the time you check in for your outbound flight the inbound flight is ready for check-in as well because it’s later the same day? Oh fine, you’re all hotshots. But I have never done that and did so yesterday. That’s right, I flew to Chicago for the day to see DuJane! I know, I know, it’s shocking we’ve never met, especially because this is the third attempt and both previous trips were thwarted by my own fickleness. But finally it happened!

How did I accomplish this? I started by getting up at the crack of dawn…no, I meant to do that but instead I just didn’t bother going to sleep. I mean it’s Saturday night, you get home late, and then you’re supposed to get up at 3:30am? Who needs that? Not me. Not many people need to get anywhere at 4am on a Sunday morning. Witness my subway station in all its desolation.

Luckily, the Airtrain was a bit more populated than this and by the time I got to JFK it was actually pretty bustling. Shockingly, the second the plane took off, I was completely asleep and five seconds later we landed. Those JetBlue people really know how to fly!

Outside, I immediately noticed that the New York heatwave seems not to have hit Chicago, but before I could freeze, there they were, Jane & Hot Guy, looking just like their pictures. We went to a pancake house where my blueberry compote was actually defrosted frozen blueberries, Jane’s apple pancakes were roughly equivalent to an Entenmann’s cake in size, and Hot Guy ordered everything on the menu that we didn’t. Then it was off to the mall, because, well, to me that’s exotic. In highly inefficient style we wandered aimlessly from area to area and probably covered the entire place 35 times. “Wait, I know we were in this area because I remember that shoe store across from that jewelry store.” It was like that. Luckily, Jane was on a mission to find boots and so I was allowed to sit down in all the shoe stores and contemplate what kind of bright idea it was to not sleep at all the night before. (Before you ask, she found some! Granny-bondage boots, that’s right.)

Here’s Jane, pre-boots, in Janeville. Yes, this is an actual store in the mall.









Later, we rejoined our chauffeur and had dinner at a microbrewery/dinner place where the waitress blamed her poor service on the fact that she had spent the night watching the entire season of 24 on DVD. I deducted 24% from her tip (no, not really, please no angry letters).

Then it was back to O’Hare (why, it seemed like I had just been there that morning!) for hugs and goodbyes. I can now reveal that Jane’s real talent is walking around in inhumanly high heels and Hot Guy’s is Simpsons quoting, something you know I value in a person. Once in the airport I walked three miles to find JetBlue’s one lonely gate. I guess it’s not really a known quantity there, as a woman in our waiting area said, “What is this? Is this a new airline or something?” Hey lady, they have a whole terminal in New York, so there. As if it weren’t late enough already, some people didn’t want to get on the plane because the Giants game being shown on the TV was tied. It seems not to have worked out too well for them. I, however, was asleep in my bed 20 hours after I had left. How I wish I were there right now.


Jane’s Addiction – Jane Says


17 Comments for this post

  1. Jane says:

    Jane says “You’re so awesome.”

  2. Becca says:

    No, no you’re awesome!

    Sorry, we’ll get a room.

  3. Sarpon says:

    That is so beautiful, you guys.

  4. Lydia says:


    I just want to go shopping.

  5. Julia says:

    True love is a wonderful thing.

    We all know that Jane is hot – where’s YOUR photo? You are a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

  6. Emeraldmph says:

    Aww, that looks like fun. Hey, Jetblue goes direct to Seattle too…

  7. Jane says:

    Julia, don’t fret. I don’t know what Becca looks like either. She walked around all day in a Marge Simpson mask. Hot Guy did nothing but ogle her throughout dinner. It was sorta disturbing.

  8. Becca says:

    Lydia, I’m wearing my cute new sweater right now! You have my permission, go shopping.

    Julia, what’re you talking about? My picture is right on this page! It’s in the sidebar; click to enlarge if you can’t see it well.

    Em, it’d be hard to do that in one day, though. Besides, now people have to come see me, I’m staying home.

    Actually, I was wearing the football game in front of my face. What?

  9. Julia says:

    You are incredibly precocious, I will give you that. And quite adorable as well! But I think it’s past your bedtime. (I’m hoping that is in fact a childhood photo and you don’t have the Webster syndrome, because in that case I’d be a real ass.)

    (And Jane, could you please stop being so funny today? It may be the sleep deprivation talking, but you’re really on a roll here.)

  10. Jane says:

    That makes sense, Becca. I thought that every time he yelled “Pass it. PASS IT!!” he was talking about the catsup. Ketchup. Catsup. Ketchup.

  11. KP says:

    Sounds like lots’ o’ fun. I’m not jealous at all. Nope. I mean, I’m only a train ride away but I’m not jealous. Bitter perhaps, but I’ll get over it.

    P.S. Becca is very pretty and slightly taller than that picture up there, yet she is still taller than I am.

  12. Becca says:

    It’s funny but I still enjoy playing in mud puddles. I just came from one, actually. Sadly, I no longer have those pants, however.

    Ketchup. Catsup. Ketchup. Catsup. Oh, thanks, now I’ll be doing that all day.

    Don’t be bitter, KP. I’ll get to that Connecticut area one of these days. In the meantime, if you feel bitter, don’t forget to listen to the iPod Song of the Week. (Score for shameless plugs!)

  13. KP says:

    Hey! I know that song! I wrote that song!

    Seriously, I have that CD and love it, but you knew that of course.

  14. kay says:

    Man, that sounds like fun.

    You know, you can both get here for a day. Granted, we’d only have time to eat Taco Bell at DIA, but you could if you wanted to….

  15. Becca says:

    No, Matthew Sweet wrote that song. But I did know that you loved it. Who wouldn’t?

    I already went to Denver for a day. OK, it was two days and it was 15 years ago and it was my brother’s wedding but still.

  16. KP says:

    I’d totally be up for Denver.

    Anyone want to watch my kids? How about my parents?

  17. Becca says:

    I would but I’ll be in Denver.

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