Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Once again, Grammys reward real talent

Filed under : Music
On December 8, 2006
At 2:30 pm
Comments : 17

Did you laugh when you read that? Because I was snortling a little when I wrote it. Wait, let me get that out, ahahahahahahaha! In case you hadn’t heard, the Grammy nominations were announced yesterday and they’re as stellar as usual. You can see them all at but take it from me, any place that recognizes the Red Hot Chili Peppers, James Blunt, and John Mayer as having the best songs and albums of the year, is a nest of crack users.

How does this happen, you ask. Well, first of all, you have to submit a whole bunch of copies of the CD to nominate it, which means pretty much only the labels do. Then they figure out who they think has the best bet and focus on that artist, thus ensuring that the rest of their artists get stiffed. Then, the people voting don’t actually get copies of the CD’s they’re voting on, so they mostly just choose the ones they’ve heard of or heard good things about. This is how dead people win all the awards, by the way. “Wow, I’ve heard of that dead guy! Poor dead guy.”

There used to be subterfuges where label people were able to vote in blocks for Grammys. See, you need to have 6 credits on a released work to vote and…well, I’d explain how it was done but I’d get fired. Needless to say, it took NARAS several years to figure it out. I would just like to declare that I always voted my conscience! Mostly.

But it’s OK, they only broadcast like 3 awards on the actual show, anyway (and there are over 100!) and no one actually watches that show. But they’ll still call it my industry’s greatest night even though there are now Latin Grammys, CMA’s, Billboard Awards, VMA’s etc.

I’m betting Corinne Bailey Rae will be this year’s India.Arie, that is, the artist about whom everyone says, “wow! they actually are recognizing real talent over there at the Grammys!” and who then wins none. But maybe not. I’ve been wrong before. Just, please God, don’t let James Blunt walk away with five awards, I couldn’t stand it. I think I’d even prefer Carrie Underwood or, God forbid, the Pussycat Dolls. Mmm hmm, music’s greatest night.


Starland Vocal Band – Afternoon Delight