Magic Jewball

all signs point to no



Filed under : Judaism
On September 22, 2006
At 1:00 pm
Comments : 18

Hey, so did you hear we have this holiday starting tonight? You probably did because other than Hannukah (more on that in December) it seems to be the only holiday most non-Jews know about. This is because lots of Jews who don’t celebrate anything else will take off a day or two from work and spend Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur or both holed up in synagogue. See, Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, or rather, the anniversary of the creation of the world, is a time of reflection. It’s the entrance gate to the ten day period that culminates in Yom Kippur where you think about your year, what you did wrong, what you’d like to change, etc. and then you beg God for forgiveness for telling your boss you were sick when you were actually just too hung over to come in. I guess that’s a kind of sick.

But the point that is generally missed is, until you go to the person you conspired against and ask forgiveness, God doesn’t really want to hear it. Sure, He’ll give you the nod if you sinned against Him, like eating non-Kosher food or telling people He blows. But for person-to-person sins, you have to apologize to the actual victim.

So, here goes.

Dear J-Ball readers,

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting as much as I said I would. I’m sorry I’ve been too lazy to drag out my camera so that my recent posts have been unillustrated. I’m sorry I didn’t update where David Nalbandian is (wait, maybe I need to go directly to David Nalbandian with that one). I’m sorry I always say I’m going to do Jew & A and then I postpone it for days. I’m sorry to anyone who felt they should have been ROTM and wasn’t. Your time will come! Most of you.

And I’m sorry I’m too tired from baking honey cookies last night to make this post any longer.

Now let’s go ahead and have a great year! And when we get to the Super Bowl, let’s already have won. I guess you had to see “Heaven Can Wait” for that one.


PS, I love all of you! Even the Mets fans. And some of the Red Sox fans.

See you next year!


Eh, you knew I’d pick this one, didn’t you?

U2 – New Year’s Day


18 Comments for this post

  1. Jane says:

    Wait, where’s the apology you owe me for not sending me any honey cookies?

  2. Becca says:

    Did I mention? I made cookie-dough brownies too. That’s a tradition handed down from Moses.

  3. Alex says:

    Cookie-dough brownies????? How come MORE people haven’t converted?

    Happy New Year, y’all.

  4. Vicki, Florida says:

    2 things from a Non-Jew that I remember about this holiday:

    1. It was the best holiday during school because we go back to school and then a week later have a day off. I thought, these Jews know how to holiday.

    2. When I moved to Florida, I was completely freaked out that we didn’t get Rosh Hashanah off – I thought, these people are so backwards, but then again we went back to school before Labor Day, so I should have known then there was a problem.

  5. Becca says:

    Thanks, Alex. You too!

    Man, Vicki, do we know how to holiday. And holiday often.

    Well, folks, I’m out for a couple of days but don’t even think of flooding my comments with “Jeter Sucks!” messages while I’m away because I handed the keys to the kingdom to DuJane, my eagle-eyed goy server hostess and pal.

  6. Jane says:

    Did you guys read that? I’m in CHARGE. So if we trash the place, we need to hide the evidence before Becca gets back, or else I’m going to be totally grounded until the next Rosh Hashanah.

  7. KP says:

    I am eating a brownie in honor of your holiday Bec. I shall eat one in honor of DuJane keeping watch as well. I am good like that.

  8. Molly says:

    So, who’s in charge of throwing out the beer bottles?

  9. culotte says:

    I told my mom I was staying at Jane’s house.

    (Happy New Year, Becca!)

  10. Sarpon says:

    I hope everyone has gone ahead and written “5767” on the rest of your checks in your checkbook. That little tip always helps ease me in to the New Year.

  11. kay says:

    Thank you for the tip, Sarpon.

    The best part of all of this, is that if you haven’t sinned at all you get to spend Yom Kippur in your jammies, on the couch, watching old movies! Guess what I’ll be doing in 10 days! 😀 (I kid, I kid)

    Gut yontif, all. May you have a sweet year.

    P.S. Jeter sucks.

  12. Jane says:

    Just for that, Kay, you get to clean up where Culotte puked behind the couch.

    Sarpon, you make me giggle and giggle.

  13. deb says:

    Yea, Happy New Year..another day spent in contemplation while my house goes to hell on handlebars.

  14. RN says:

    I’m so glad that I became a jball reader. I was able to explain to my fellow tailgaters why the parking lot, that we always park in to tailgate at the Jewish student unions was closed off yesterday. This prevented what could have turned into a very ugly incedent as well as having their cars towed.

    I’m going to suggest to them next year to turn it over to Jane for the weekend. If she’s good enough have the key’s to the magicjewball, than she’s good enough to take our money and let us cook.

  15. penguindeb says:

    Happy New Year!

  16. Becca says:

    Thanks everyone! And especially DuJane. You did a fine job cleaning the place up. I totally expected to see your link at the top of my blogroll at the very least. I’m impressed that it’s still in alphabetical order.

  17. Jane says:

    Muwahahahaha. I’m not that evil! Actually, I am. I just didn’t think of it. Next time, for sure.

  18. KP says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed my brownie. Hope you had a great weekend too Bec.

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