Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Blah blah blah tennis blah blah

Filed under : Sports,Tennis
On September 1, 2006
At 12:50 am
Comments : 19

People think I don’t understand how Red Sox fans feel. That feeling of just expecting your team to lose, the numbing inevatibility, the knowledge that they will choke somehow, some way, that in the end your heart will be broken. But, you see, I do. For I am a Mardy Fish fan. Mardy Fish is a tennis player. A tennis player I chose to like. A tennis player WHO HAS NO IDEA HOW TO WIN. Even if he’s ahead, he’ll choke somewhere. And if he’s behind, forget it, it’s over. He was sick that day at the tennis academy when they taught the word “comeback.” He tries fancy shots and they fall flat. He rallies and then falls apart. He gives “sleeps with the fishes” a new meaning.

Why on earth am I a Mardy Fish fan? Oh yeah, he’s hot. I’m just shallow like that. Come on, you guys have Maria Sharapova and I just know you all support her for her sweet, sweet tennis skills.

OK, moving right along, some pictorial follow-up to my US Open guide. Remember I said the food was a little dear? Here you go, witness your $16.50 hamburger and the $18.50 deli sandwich. Yay!

Can’t see it? Click to enlarge.

And then remember my tip about using the back staircase to enter Armstrong and climb down from the top? No? For shame! Because I did that today, so I could get in to see Amelie “She’s A Man, Baybee!” Mauresmo and Meghann Shaughnessy without waiting. Here’s the view from the top. Hey, is that my nose bleeding?

But as I mentioned, the highest seat in Armstrong is way closer to the action than any seats you and I can afford over there in Arthur Ashe Behemoth Stadium. In this view you can see Ashe hulking over Armstrong.

Anyway, this was all after I split off from my father and Brothers 1 and 2. They wanted to see women’s tennis whereas I wanted to see Amelie Mauresmo. Rimshot! But, while I was with them, Brother2 kept me pretty entertained.

Russian guy calls out a long statement in Russian during Demetieva match.
Brother2:You just don’t hear good tennis commentary like that these days.

Me: Maybe (Israeli) Shahar Pe’er won because of her tough army training
Brother2: Are you kidding? She probably manned the telephone desk. “Shalom, Israel Defense Force, how may I help you?”

Scores flash by for the Peschke/Schiavone-Arvidsson/Muller doubles match.
Brother2: Slow down, I have money on that match!

Maybe you had to be there. Anyway, unless something spectacular happens, this’ll be my last tennis post because I know I’m boring the hell out of 95% of you. I’m full up on Jew&A questions now so maybe that will be next. Advantage, JBall readers! In the meantime, don’t forget to watch David Nalbandian Friday night in the Big TV Night Match on the USA Network. He needs you to help him win WITH YOUR MINDS.

Neil Finn – Rest Of the Day Off