Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Search and ye shall find

Filed under : Meta/Blognews
On August 22, 2006
At 11:35 pm
Comments : 13

It’s been in the news lately that AOL released search engine data on thousands of users without identifying them. Great idea! I think I’ll do the same for the purposes of your amusement, only, since everyone who found me via Google was clearly searching for answers, I thought I would give some.  

To the people who found me via:
Is Dave Gahan Jewish?
Is Boy George Jewish?
Is Jason Varitek Jewish (several times!)
Is Roger Federer Jewish?

Hell if I know. Wait, I have a question for you. Several in fact. Just why do you want to know? Are you an adolescent wondering about the religion of your favorite stars? Are you a researcher who is oh-so-curious? Or are you just an anti-Semite wondering who to hate today? Maybe there’s a Jewgle out there for you, because I certainly can’t help.

To the person who found me via “snappy answers to stupid tourist questions,” that’s a fine idea. Maybe at some later date.

To the “i love cvs” person, are you on crack?

To “famous people who live in trailers,” come ON. I know your life is fuller than this.

To “famous people with little or no clothing,” man, must you have been disappointed.

To “u2 rip off ian curtis,” I think not. Come back, let’s discuss this like rational humans before I pummel you.

To “want to listen to front 242 god spoke,” me too but I don’t think there is such a song. Try Headhunter, it rules. Wait, are you missing a comma? Is it, “Want to listen to Front 242, God spoke.” Wow, divine. I would suggest God also try Headhunter

To “what is the name of the headpiece of a jew?” Kipa or yarmulka. You’re welcome.

To “aramaic thesaurus,” yeah, no.

To “video photo soxy,” Video? Listen, don’t I post enough about her? Jeez. And to “soxy hot now,” yes, yes she is. Glad you noticed. As for “live hot soxy sexy” in Saudia Arabia, let’s not even go there.

To “prostitution and fayetteville” and “norcross ga prostitution,” you guys should totally meet.

To “what a jewish person says to bless you after a sneeze,” you really should write into Jew&A. I do it just for people like you.

To “i saw the news today oh boy beatles song,” A Day in the Life. No problem, anytime.

To “Dale and Thomas Popcorn Musicland,” is there some merger I haven’t heard about?

To “schaefer beer mets,” wha?

To “matisyahu fake jamaican,” oh, I think we’d be great friends.

Well, that’s it. For now. If I find out about any famous people who turn out to be Jewish or live in trailer parks I’ll post some nude photos. Hey, I live to serve.


U2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For