Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Boy George: Head Like A Heeb

Filed under : Famous People
On August 15, 2006
At 11:55 am
Comments : 26

When I was a kid, I used to imagine that all my favorite rock stars were Jewish. You know, so I could marry them. My mother told me that Simon LeBon could be a Jewish name and I ran with that. But even my pre-adolescent brain could figure out that for those purposes, it didn’t really matter either way whether or not Boy George was Jewish. Still, I was impressed when in the Do You Really Want to Hurt Me video, he showed up wearing a shirt (ok, it was more like a tunic/sweatshirt thing) that said Culture Club in Hebrew. Sure, the words were reversed so they were meaningless. But that was minor.

Now that George has hit the lowest mark a person can achieve in a lifetime, picking up garbage in the streets of New York City (and we have a lot), we get our yearly look at just how horribly a person can age. But this time I noticed something different, as I’m sure you did if you happened to see this picture on Gawker (where I stole it from).

Yes, there’s a big-ass Star of David on George’s giant bald head. Way to out-Esther Madonna! Red string indeed. This guy has a full-size tattoo on his head! But quite frankly, I think he has it all wrong. Look, George, you live in New York now. You can’t have helped noticing that our enemies seem to come at us from above. Do you really want a kind of Jewish identification on the top of your head? Is that smart? Oh right, you’re currently sweeping the streets. But seriously, party Ortho-style and just wear a little kipa. Sure, it’s less fabulous, but your fabulous days are really over, aren’t they?

But I guess this is more convenient and everything. I mean, it must be a pain to be sweeping up trash when your kipa falls into the pile. That’s got to suck.

Title comes from Nine Inch Nails’ Head Like A Hole, of course, but we’ll save that for another day.

Culture Club – Do You Really Want 2 Hurt Me


26 Comments for this post

  1. Paige says:

    I was so hoping you’d do a Boy George entry! I knew I could count on you, Becca. I remember wishing that some of my favorite rock stars I adored as a youth were straight. I figured if they were Jewish, I ‘d just convert. I was in my 20’s before I reconciled with George Michael. Hard to let that one go.

    Thus, after seeing the photos on Yahoo yesterday, I played some Culture Club whist cleaning my house. Seemed like the right thing to do. Boy George and I both had an unpleasant task at hand.

  2. Becca says:

    All the good ones were gay. Kind of like now.

  3. CSIGirl says:

    And here I thought you actually took that picture. I was picturing you running around after him stalking him with your camera.

  4. Becca says:

    I only do that to Dave Gahan.

  5. KP says:

    Okay, so in my headache induced haze last night I barely see something on the news about Boy George doing this community service in NYC and the first thing that pops into my clouded mind? “I wonder if Bec will blog about it and get some cool pictures for the J-Ball”. I used to love Culture Club. Do I still love them? It comes and goes, it comes and goes.

  6. Sarpon says:

    In the alt. universe in which George Michael is still as hot as he was in 1985, and in which I stand any chance at all of meeting, let alone engaging in hot sweaty sex with him leading to our lifetime commitment and my fabulous career as a world famous entertainment lawyer, he’s straight. And clean. And doesn’t hang out in restrooms.

    That’s the way these things work.

  7. Becca says:

    Thanks A LOT for the earworm, KP.

    I agree, Sarpon. I also believe George Michael deserves lifetime commitment.

  8. Jan says:

    I can’t get over how bloated he looked. Oy. The years have no been kind. And is he for reals Jewish, or is he a Kabbalah type?

    Oh, and “party Ortho-style” ruined me.


  9. Jan says:

    Oh, and Bec, I just found out last night that Kevin Youkilis is Jewish! You could marry him! I mean, I know he’s the enemy and all that, but let’s be real, there aren’t so many Jewish sports stars for you to marry. You can’t be too choosy.

  10. Becca says:

    I think he’s just a Kabbalah type. But that tattoo is forever so he’s SOL when that trend is over. Oh wait, that trent IS over.

    I’m still holding out for David Nalbandian to convert. And if not, maybe I will.

  11. Soxy says:

    Did you hear Lenny Clarke & Dennis Leary on the Sox game? They were so excited that Youk is Jewish. He made a great play and they were yelling “Take that Mel Gibson! Look what our Jewish first baseman can do!”

  12. Sarpon says:

    No beisbol player could be Becca’s brand of Jewish. They do play ball on Friday nights and Saturday afternoons, after all.

    Hmmm. Could be why the game hasn’t caught on in Israel.

  13. Becca says:

    Soxy, I assume that was addressed to Jan. 😉

    However, still no deal.

    Sarpon, of course, it hasn’t caught on in 95% of the rest of the world either. But Viva la Republica Dominica!

  14. Jan says:

    Oh, Sarp, you’re right, I didn’t think about that. God wouldn’t look the other way on the Sabbath for a kajillion dollars?? What if you donated a ton to some big Jewish cause? I feel like there has to be a clause there somewhere ….

    Soxy, that’s how I learned Youk was Jewish! I love Denis Leary.

  15. Becca says:

    People, step away from the hash. I am not going for Kevin Youkilis.

  16. KP says:

    Wasn’t there a player on one of the California teams who refused to play any Friday night or Saturday games because he was Jewish? I totally remember reading about it but the dude’s name escapes me. He must not have been hot.

  17. sarpon says:

    You’re not thinking of Sandy Koufax, are you? He didn’t pitch on Yom Kippur, but I think he did pitch in regular games on the Sabbath.

  18. Soxy says:

    Gabe Kapler is Jewish too. ANd he’s hotter than Youk.

  19. KP says:

    No, it was some dude who is around now. I have no idea who he is.

  20. Culotte says:

    Wait wait wait. Hold on. Boy George was “hot” in the ’80’s?

  21. Becca says:

    Are you thinking of Shawn Green who wouldn’t play on Yom Kippur?

    And whenever I hear Gabe Kapler mentioned, the “Welcome Back Kotter” theme pops into my head. And that ain’t good.

    Well, he wasn’t really my type, Culotte. But Jon Moss seemed to think he was.

  22. Sarpon says:

    No no no no no no no. Boy George was never “hot,” except in the sense that Culture Club was a “hot band” for a nano second there. George Michael was hot in the hot sense, especially when he wore those tight jeans which were the only form of apparel available other than leggings and torn sweat shirts in the 80’s.

  23. KP says:

    Yes! That’s him Bec. Arizona…close enough to California I guess. I just checked him out and he isn’t hot, which explains my memory lapse.

  24. Culotte says:

    Whew. Thanks for clarifying.

  25. Rachel says:

    How weird. I remember what a stir it caused when our Rabbi was Boy George for Purim a long time ago.

  26. Becca says:

    Why don’t I have a Rabbi like that?

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