Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Reader of the Month – August!

Filed under : Reader of the Month
On August 6, 2006
At 10:15 pm
Comments : 29

Yes, you’ve seen her fractured sense of humor in my comments, her staunch defense of the Yankees, her belief that she is married to Jason Giambi, Andy Phillips, or both, but have you seen that she visits my site 85 times a day? No, of course not, only I can see that. Either way, the ROTM for August is KP! KP used to post as Anonymous but then sign her posts KP. That’s just the kind of humor I can get behind. But if it isn’t clear enough that KP loves J-Ball, witness the fact that when a new post isn’t available, she uses this handy substitute.

More gushy things about KP. All this J-Ball reading goes on while she is busy studying how to heal people by touching them a lot. At least that’s how I understand it. It’s a popular field, I think. And watching Family Guy, that’s important for her work. Also, you know how birds and forest creatures flocked to Disney’s Cinderella? Well, if you’d like to know what kind of person KP is, be aware that butterflies naturally flock to her crotch. She just has that kind of magic.

KP also sent in a picture which reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where everyone starts calling Elaine, “Nip.” But this is a family blog! Speaking of which, KP has a lovely family, despite the fact that she is mid-way between Boston and NY and so has a son who supports that Other Team. Here’s a picture of her and the son who has the correct loyalties. Like any good mother, KP wanted to protect his identity from insane Red Sox fans, and so I obliged.

And did I mention that Mr. KP has fit right into the group of my friends’ helpful husbands? Yes, he helped me reset my circuit breaker over the phone. I love that in someone else’s husband. Here’s the happy, electrified couple.

But as much as I could say about KP, this is the song that most reminds me of her, and not just because she’s a Pretenders fan. No, this sort of Chrissy Hynde, ballsy chick, that’s the KP I know. And now, so do you. Thanks, KP! Keep on touching people!

The Pretenders – Brass in Pocket


29 Comments for this post

  1. KP says:

    There are no words except 1. I always wanted to be Crissie Hynde 2. Thank you! ….sniff….

  2. Soxy says:

    KP, if you needed further proof that we would love each other in person, I have that shirt you’re wearing in the last pic!

    Congratulations! Don’t forget to go to NY and claim your meal!

  3. Becca says:

    Don’t thank me! Send me money!

    Oh, that’s the best part, Soxy. KP already got a meal! That is, if you consider a Beard Papa cream puff a meal, which I certainly do.

  4. KP says:

    Don’t lie Soxy. We all know secretly you have a Yanks shirt. ARod, right? HA! I am so going back to NYC to treat Becca to a meal, dessert first of course.

  5. kay says:

    Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you….

  6. Jane says:

    I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t include a photo of your other kid, the one with the #9 yellow striped head.

  7. KP says:

    Where are all the posts about how hot I am? Maybe you should have used the other picture Bec…

  8. Becca says:

    What, Kay longs to be close to you, isn’t that enough?

    And while I’m ha-ha’ing to Jane’s comment I should credit her with that fine Photoshop job on KP Jr., being that I’m a loser without Photoshop.

  9. Jane says:

    Hey! Ask Becca! When she sent me that photo of you KP, I responded with “Am I the only person in our group of friends that doesn’t have huge fantastic boobs?” It’s the truth, just ask her.

  10. KP says:

    Kay and I, now our bond is deeper than just hotness. It extends to fine chocolates and bath products. Oh, and thanks Jane. Now stop staring at my chest.

  11. Becca says:

    Jane speaks truth. I’ll sell you her e-mail for ten dollars.

  12. sarpon says:

    Congratulations, KP. I had no idea that Jason Giambi knew so much about circuit breakers.

  13. RN says:

    Congratulations KP! I have always thought of Chrissy Hinds when ever I think of you.

    I do have a complaint against the ROTM selections. What’s up with everyone being from east of the Mississippi? Is this a new form of discrimination?

  14. Soxy says:

    People live west of the Mississippi and have computers? Huh.

  15. Becca says:

    Sarpon, they taught him that right after Pharmaceuticals 101.

    RN, you disappeared. I thought you were dead. J-Ball waits for no man!

  16. KP says:

    This has been the best day ever. Thanks J-Ball!

  17. RN says:

    Hey! I read the J-ball at least once from Germany.

    At least I didn’t get there by googling tulsa hookers.

    Not that I ever did or there’s anything wrong with that.

  18. Becca says:

    Yes, J-Ball is here to fulfill all your wishes, that is, if you wished to have your rack discussed all day.

    And hey, I finally found my Pretenders 1 CD so you could listen on the page. Naturally, it was in a stack of CD’s behind another stack of CD’s. It’s a J-Ball miracle!

    Danke, RN! Even though I told you not to. You are a bad listener.

    Someone found me today by Googling “Norcross, Georgia hookers.” I’ve somehow become Hooker Central Station.

  19. sarpon says:

    What do you suppose the Googler thought when “Magic Jewball” came up in response to that search? That he’d found a kosher bordello in the deep South? Or maybe it was a specialty service offered by a lady of the night in Norcross?

  20. Becca says:

    I’m not sure what goes through the mind of someone who Googles that, Sarpon, but I’m sure it ain’t pretty.

  21. E11even says:

    hubba hubba!!! look at that rack.

  22. KP says:

    I’m special (special), so special (special)

  23. Alex says:

    Belated congratulations to KP.

    BTW, KP, did you know that in addition to paying for their own meal, readers of the month receive an elderly, toothless, ill-tempered chihuahua? (I got her spayed two weeks ago.)

    Just let me know your address and I’ll ship her off this afternoon!

  24. Becca says:

    Please be advised that dogs are not part of the ROTM offer. Read the contract.

  25. penguindeb says:

    Look at that Hottie! KP- i htink thats the first pic i have seen of Mr KP. you guys are so cute! and you look fantabulous. 🙂

  26. Alex says:

    They’d look better with a chihuahua….

  27. KP says:

    Mr. Kp is quite the cutie, but deep inside he is not the world’s biggest dog fan. That chihuahua might send him over the edge. Thanks anyway! (and thanks deb. BTW J-Ball readers, deb has seen my goods up close and personal. She can vouch for the fantabulousness of my rack et al)

  28. Becca says:

    Oh right, because no one takes my word for it. Mmmm hmm, I understand.

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