Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Subway McRantRant

Filed under : New York City,Rants
On July 18, 2006
At 12:21 pm
Comments : 15

I know I said the next post would be Jew & A, but I lied. I’m just a big liar. You caught me. I’m so ashamed.

Anyway, this morning, the subway train I was riding stopped moving for no apparent reason. Finally, they announced that there was a train ahead of us and we’d be moving shortly. Speaking of liars, I had been waiting 10 minutes for this particular train I was on and so I can reveal to you that THERE WAS NO TRAIN AHEAD OF US.

As if this lie wasn’t baldfaced enough, I could dimly hear an announcement on the platform that the entire line was out of service due some problem having to do with the heat. (It’s a furnace here right now, as if to show us liars what Hell is like, that is, if I believed in Hell). Now, I was angry this morning to begin with (just one of those angry days) but by the time I walked a mile to work in the blazing heat, I was enraged.

Were there no heatwaves in 1904 when they built this thing? How can iron rails not withstand 100 degree heat? Why do tourists not cross on red lights? Why did that taxi feel the need to come thisclose to running over my foot? Why must Starbucks blast air conditioned coffee aroma at me while I’m trying to get to work and only be an hour late? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CITY?

I’ll add a song later when I’m good and ready and you’ll like it, damn it!


15 Comments for this post

  1. Claudia says:

    Hi Becca. Just started reading your site a few weeks ago, and I’m already addicted. Sorry it’s an angry day, but it seems to be worldwide. I’m in Alexandria, Egypt, and it was an agry day for me and all of my friends, too! Must be the moon.

  2. Becca says:

    Hi, Claudia, thanks! I can’t believe it, they don’t even have a subway there. But they do know about heat. Or it could be the moon, yes, I’ll go with that.

  3. Sarpon says:

    You could just link to “Summer in the City” every single day until Labor Day and we would all understand.

  4. KP says:

    Is Hot Child in the City too obvious a choice?

    BTW, My Metro North card burst into flames upon leaving NYC. I think Satan wanted it back.

  5. Jane says:

    Where did the term “baldfaced lie” originate? I don’t get it. My face is always bald, except for my eyebrows. So I tell baldfaced truths as well. I googled “baldfaced lie” to try to find out where it came from and the first link that popped up was “President’s Remarks in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania”. So I laughed. And then I came here and rambled on a bit.

  6. KP says:

    Looks like Jane just blogged in someone else’s blog.


  7. Becca says:

    I did consider Summer in the City, but it was way too obvious. I‘ll save it for another atrocious day. Hot Child in the City was never under consideration, alas.

    Yeah, Jane, save it for your own blog! But I will say that I spellchecked this and it suggest “bald-faced.” I rebelled and kept it as is.

  8. Jane says:

    And yet you haven’t answered my question. Pshaw.

  9. Becca says:

    What am I, Google?

  10. Jane says:

    Jew & A has led me to believe that you know everything.

  11. Becca says:

    All right, I’ll tell you that it’s not a Jewish term.

  12. KP says:

    Drop It Like It’s Hot?

    Hot In Herre?

    Hot Hot Hot?

    Tattooed Love Boys?

    Hey, at least I’m trying.

  13. RN says:

    This sounds like a good time to practice the old breath in through the nose and out through the mouth routine.

    At least it worked for my patients when they were waiting for the pharmacy to release the morophine.

    p.s. do I earn ROTM points for posting from a different country on vacation?

  14. Becca says:

    Are you in Amsterdam? Because if so you should really be smoking legal pot and visiting legal hookers, not reading J-Ball. Or are you the one in Germany? Either way, TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, YOU FOOL.

  15. Becca says:

    KP, there are just way too many. My brain is too small for it.

Comments are closed.