Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


There is no terror in my heart

Filed under : New York City
On July 11, 2006
At 10:17 pm
Comments : 17


And now a little social and political commentary by Becca. This is so rare, I’m not even starting a category for it. No politicians will be mentioned, mostly because I don’t know any of their names. I vote and all, I just forget their names by the next day. Except that rich mayor guy. I remember him, mostly because I keep voting against him and he keeps winning anyway.

So you may have noticed we’ve had some terrorism in this area. I don’t mean to be flip, it’s just that lately this has led to a sigh of relief whenever anything bad happens and it turns out not to be terrorism. The most recent thing was a townhouse blowing up on the Upper East Side. Phew, thank goodness it was just some crackpot trying to keep his ex-wife from getting the house and not someone trying to kill the rest of us. Still sucks to be her, though.

Then there was an actual plot recently foiled where terrorists were planning to blow up a PATH train (that’s trains to New Jersey for you out-of-towners). The idea was to get a lot of guys with backpacks into one car and then detonate in a tunnel underneath the Hudson River (that’s the river between my apartment and Ikea). Yeah, we’re dumb, but no one’s getting into a commuter train car with 20 guys wearing backpacks. Well done, mad bombers, clap clap.

Anyway, with that last one, the news showed the requisite nervous subway riders and “what can I do, I have to go to work” folks. People! This is not the way to go about things. Terrorism is not about killing people, it’s about scaring you. Yes, that’s the terror part of the word. I know “if you get scared the terrorists win” has become a cliché but it just happens to be true.

It’s not like I’m one of those “don’t worry, be happy” people. I mean, my blog is black and the tag line is “all signs point to no.” But it’s like running into a wild dog. You can’t show fear or you’re a goner. And besides, a lifetime of fear is worse than a quick death, not that I’ve experienced either.

Well, OK, you say, just how do I go about not being scared? I mean, those guys are really kind of scary. Easy! Just think of it this way. There’s way more chance of you being killed in a car accident than in a terrorist attack. And New Yorkers don’t drive! So we’re WAY safer than the rest of the world. Feel better? As a matter of fact, you probably have more chance of having your house blown up by your ex-spouse. Don’t make me find the statistics on that, please. Just take my word for it.

So just remember, I blog because if I don’t, the terrorists win.


Title comes from this excellent song:

The Cure – Us Or Them


17 Comments for this post

  1. Jane says:

    “you probably have more chance of having your house blown up by your ex-spouse”

    Thanks, thanks for putting that thought into my head.

    A t-shirt I wear when I’m feeling particularly passionate about anti-terrorism measures:

    Hmmm. Do I need to TinyURL that? I guess we’ll find out after it’s too late.

  2. Becca says:

    I was really more directing that at your ex, Jane. Excellent shirt, though!

  3. Alex says:

    OH, MAN. Out here in the outer suburbs, we drive everywhere, ALL THE TIME! I had no clue we were so much more vulnerable to terrorism than New Yorkers and Washingtonians.

    Probably also the sky is falling….

  4. kay says:

    Amen. There’s so much more I could say and probably will say at a later time on my blog. I don’t want yours to explode from my rantings.

  5. Becca says:

    Alex, I sure hope you don’t have an ex-spouse. You are doomed. Doomed.

    Kay, you could have, but I’ll wait and read it on your blog. You’re probably right; think of all the grey flowers flying all over the place. Oh, the humanity.

  6. Jan says:

    Running into a wild dog would probably scare you more than another terrorist attack, Bec. :p

    But I hear ya … even though I’m in Boston and it’s been 5 years since the attacks, any time there’s a Breaking News Alerton TV, my heart stops for a sec.

    We have the most provincial news stations ever, though, so it’s usually a hot-off-the-press story about a cat stuck in a tree or some such nonsense followed by “Remember, you saw it here first!”

    Yeah, great scoop, dude.

  7. Jan says:

    I’ve been meaning to ask — to get carriage returns in my comments, do I have to do something special? Everyone else’s comments are nice and neat looking, while mine are a big jumble.

  8. Becca says:

    Jan, yes, it’s true, I’d rather face Osama than Bella the chihuahua.

    As for the paragraph breaks, I know, that’s annoying. Mine look pretty because I edit them afterwards but that doesn’t help all my fine readers, does it? I’ll see what I can do.

  9. mlhaines says:

    Terrorist attacks are the least of my safety concerns on the subway. These are just from cities where I’ve lived…



    Seattle (this one’s my favorite):

  10. Sarpon says:

    I am ghoulishly enthralled by the story about the doctor who (allegedly) blew up his $4 million dollar townhouse – with himself in it – rather than sell is and pay the ex. This is the mistake the terorists make; they underestimate our ability to destroy ourselves. Obviously, Osama never spent a Saturday night in the deep South with a crowd of good ol’ boys trying to impress each other. Famous last words of a redneck: “Hey, y’all, watch this!”

  11. Culotte says:

    Based on personal statistics, I have a better chance of dying while plucking my eyebrows.
    I also blog, because if I don’t the terrorists will win. And you would never know the conclusion to my ridiculous mouse saga.

  12. Soxy says:

    I feel so much better about coming to NYC now. Thanks Magic Jewball!

    Jan — you should see the news in New Hampshire “Today, Canada was completely blown off the map by a giant glacier! But, first at four, we’re going berry picking in Concord!”

  13. Becca says:

    ML, oh don’t make me read 3 “bad things happen in subway” stories! And I had to tinyurl you there, sorry for the inconvenience.

    Sarpon, I’m kind of obsessed with it too. Seeing his chilling letter to the wife next to the picture of him all banged up on a stretcher was like a shower of karma.

    Culotte, please present your data. TIA.

    Soxy, you still have to worry about Yankee fans, though.

  14. MsHurley says:

    Good to know. I had actually thought of you, when the news of the townhouse came out. I heard that it was in the ‘Upper East Side’ and that you live on the ‘Upper West Side’, but frankly, my Manhattan geography stinks. So good to know that all is well.

    I don’t know what to say about not living in fear of attack because it has never occurred to me. Who would want to take out anything in NC? Especially the eastern part. No one notices us rednecks east of Raleigh. We do have some home grown crazies, though….

  15. KP says:

    I will continue to travel to NYC so the terrorists don’t win. I will continue to shop in NYC so the terrorists don’t win. I will continue to scope out hot guys in NYC so the terrorists don’t win.

    I am a giver after all.

  16. Becca says:

    MsH, never fear, there’s Central Park and a huge income disparity between us. And if you’ve ever seen any of those “concert in Central Park” DVD’s or a Park Avenue penthouse, you’ll know what I mean. But thank you, I’m happy to say that I was completely unharmed.

    And yes, think of Oklahoma City. Homegrown crazies are dangerous as well.

    KP, you’re a brave, brave soul.

  17. Jan says:

    Soxy, you forget I went to school in Maine.

    The sports news up there? High school field hockey. Sweah to God.

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