Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Channel finally chooses logo reflecting its actual content

Filed under : Music,TV
On February 9, 2010
At 11:45 pm
Comments : 2

There’s a certain meme amongst Facebook groups of “when I was your age [insert cultural reference of today] not [cultural reference of yesterday].” Like “When I was your age, we had Kenan And Kel, not Drake and Josh” and “When I was your age, we had furbies, not herpes.”

When I saw this article today, I had a few variations of my own.

When I was your age, artists made videos but no one could see them.
When I was your age, I used to set my alarm for 6am to catch the airing of HBO’s Video Jukebox show with The Police video on it.
When I was your age, I spent my friend Caryn’s birthday slumber party glued to MTV; I’d never seen it before. They played Steve Winwood and Hall & Oates.
When I was your age, MTV had commercials on other channels, just so you’d know who they were.
When I was your age, we were excited when MTV came to our cable system.
When I was your age, there were VJ’s and they knew something about music.
When I was your age, there was a concert every Saturday night and a Special every Sunday night. I moped all the way home from my cousin’s Bat Mitzvah upstate because I missed U2 on the Sunday Night Special.
When I was your age, people really won on MTV.
When I was your age, Christmas was a time to say I love you with Martha Quinn and Billy Squier.
When I was your age, we finally got a VCR with big push-down buttons and I could tape Men at Work and Duran Duran.
When I was your age, Michael Jackson could light up the sidewalk and Courtney Cox was just a lucky audience member.
When I was your age, 120 Minutes played New Wave videos in the wee hours of Sunday night/Monday morning. I would have taped it but I couldn’t wait.
When I was your age, wubba wubba wubba, goodbye and God bless.
When I was your age, Riiiiiiiiiiico…. Suaaaaave.
When I was your age, we turned on MTV News as soon as we heard Kurt Cobain died.
When I was your age, videos were Buzzworthy.
When I was your age, I found out about Britney and the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys from MTV. And each time, that’s how I knew they’d be huge before they were.
When I was your age, we had Music Television, not Youth Lifestyle Television.

Now that I’m my age, artists make videos and you can see them anytime you want, but it doesn’t feel the same. Also, get off my lawn.

LA Times: MTV drops ‘Music Television’ from the network logo

This was the video I got up at 6am to see, before I’d even heard of VCR’s. Sorry about the commercial beforehand, it was worth it to get the original logo up there.


It is a special, special day in sports

Filed under : Sports,TV
On February 7, 2010
At 3:30 am
Comments : 4

Just ten days till pitchers and catchers report! (Well, the Yankees… your team may vary). I too will be toasting this event with a lot of snacking and so forth. I was actually invited to a party to celebrate what I assumed, naturally, would be this, but then I found out they’re watching some other hootenanny. No thanks!

I do like to see what chick flick programming the other stations will put together, though. I usually get Gone With the Wind but not, alas, this year. Instead we have a Law & Order marathon (but late model ones, boo!), Titanic, The Sound of Music, Dances With Wolves, and some other crap. And I do mean crap… like six hours of To Catch A Predator. Scary! I think I’m going to go with Get Shorty, which I’ve loved ever since I saw it on a flight to LA in the 90′s and they dubbed out the phrase “plane crash” and replaced it with “train crash.” I never knew he actually faked his death in the air until about ten years later. I hope I’m not giving anything away there in case you missed it when it came out in 1995.

But speaking of parties, here’s a song that I forgot even existed. The video is dumb but the song tells a story I know we can all empathize with. Except me. Sometimes I spend time in the bathroom at parties, if the bathroom is really nice. Or sometimes I’ll get out my cellphone and pretend I’m making an important call. But they didn’t have cellphones in Jona Lewie’s time. He just had the kitchen.


I should (have watched more) Coco

Filed under : TV
On January 24, 2010
At 12:00 am
Comments :Comments Off

Confession: I’d like to say I was a big Conan O’Brien fan but I really can’t. That’s because I haven’t actually watched any of the late night shows regularly in, oh, about fifteen years. Except for sports, news, reruns, and true-crime specials, I couldn’t even really tell you what’s on TV. But like any trainwreck fan, I began watching The Tonight Show a couple of weeks ago when the whole “Jay v. Coco” drama started happening. Truth? I didn’t even know Conan was hosting The Tonight Show. I thought his show was still in New York. But I have followed this avidly and I couldn’t help but feel, as most people seem to, that NBC and Jay were being classless and acting like idiots. I’ll admit, it helps that I’ve always thought Conan was funny and that Jay was… not funny. And I like Dave better than I like either of them, but he doesn’t figure into this except for the fact that I’ve enjoyed watching clips of his remarks about this on Gawker.

But the more I watched Conan the last couple of weeks, the more I became his actual fan, rather than just an “I’ve seen a few of his shows – funny!” person. And when I watched his last show with his classy words about NBC and this statement, I felt I had to to use a word I rarely if ever do. I think he’s my hero.

Let’s go to the videotape.

But in case you don’t have access where you are or you don’t want to see Conan get choked up, this is too important to miss, and not just because this entire post makes no sense without it. He said this:

All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people that watch, please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality, it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen.

I mean, did he have to mention being kind? I bet he could have gotten where he is without being kind and just doing the hard work part. And even though I would say that I’m not against cynicism per se, it’s not the kind of cynicism that’s the opposite of being kind, which is clearly what he means here. I just feel overwhelmed that he would make kindness the final message of his show. Go Coco! And when you come back, wherever you are, I’ll be watching.

Title comes from the name of a classic Supergrass album. In case you forgot the 90′s, the hit was:
Supergrass – Alright



Filed under : Tennis,TV
On June 5, 2009
At 10:00 am
Comments : 2

Yet another way tennis is like Judaism! When I was a kid, my mother worked in Jewish education and oversaw Hebrew Schools and synagogue education departments throughout the region. Once, a synagogue decided they would celebrate Purim on a Friday, even though it really fell on a Tuesday that year. The education director told my mother, “no one will come on a Tuesday!” Yeah, no matter what religion you are, you are cringing right now. I mean, Purim isn’t Yom Kippur or Christmas, but come on!

Tennis is sort of like that too. Like most sports, it’s better in it’s element. You have to see it while it’s happening or it doesn’t feel as tense and as full of possibility. Even if you record it and manage to avoid all updates, you know you could just flip to the end and find out what happened. And yet, it gets no respect. Can you imagine them doing this to a baseball game? That is, deciding it starts too early and no one will watch it, so recording it and playing it later in the day? I mean, I understand the Today show is important, NBC, so here’s a radical idea, don’t purchase the rights to the French Open playoffs! Some of us would like to watch it in real time, so why not let The Tennis Channel (with whom NBC and ESPN already share coverage) start and you with your much greater audience can let people who want to watch recipes and fluff interviews first and tennis second be happy with matches that already happened?

So now I have to shut off Twitter and not look at sports sites because I am watching this freaking thing on two hour delay. I would boycott the Today show to protest but I already don’t watch the Today show. Well now I’m not watching it even more. So there, NBC!


Speaking of large sums of money…

Filed under : TV
On February 25, 2009
At 10:00 pm
Comments : 4

It’s video week at J-Ball! This commercial is all over New York TV and cracks my shit up every time. Is it the way each word is the most hilarious word in English ever? The jaded “pudding” lady? The eager South Asian guy? The fierce kumquat woman? The teacher who looks like every English teacher I ever had? Who knows! All I can say is, this is the way I will say monkey in my mind for a long time.

YouTube Preview Image