Magic Jewball

Wow, so how about that football contest? To me, it seemed a lot like Sense & Sensibility, mostly because that’s what I was actually watching at the time. But in hindsight, now I’m kind of sorry, as it appears as though New Jersey New York actually pulled it out. I noticed because of all the hooting and hollering going on outside and it wasn’t even the exciting scene where Emma Thompson gets together with Hugh Grant.

Now, you’ll notice that every site and its splog have “best commercials” analysis. You may have thought I was above that. Well, in your face! Because I’m not. I did watch all the commercials online and this was my favorite. Honorable mention goes to the Macy’s balloons chasing after the coke (as if Stewie would ever lose to Charlie Brown).

Ahahahahaha! Every time I see that, I’m sure he’s going to mow down Richard Simmons. I believe in you!

I’m not a football fan, as you may remember from this post. While you may or not recall that post (I’m going to wager that you don’t), lots and lots of people found it this weekend after the exact same scenario predicted by that movie happened in Green Bay. Some people probably wanted the quote (mine’s correct- I transcribed it straight from the movie) and some people wanted the video which, alas, I did not have. But, anonymous Giants fans, you are in luck because Becca is at your service. The fine folks at NBC Channel 4 noticed as well and ran the clip. And I had a heads up it was coming via teaser and so I recorded it and threw it up here just for you. You may be asking, “but you must be rooting for the Giants!” Well, a bit of me is but quite frankly, they play in New Jersey. Also, that whole not liking football thing. So, as always, I say, “go commercials!”

By the way, this clip led to another quoting match between Brother2 and I. It didn’t end until he said, “Sorry. Have to go. It’s 11 and the ‘What’s Going Down’ episode of ‘That’s My Mama’ is on.”

You may not have noticed this but there are some sports that I cannot fathom and am not a fan of and are thus never mentioned here. I know, it’s hard to tell since you get way too much tennis, baseball, and sometimes even hockey. By the way, I have nothing against basketball but have you seen the Knicks lately? Ye gods and little fishes.

So I was just sitting here waiting for some football game to end so I could watch 60 Minutes, when I finally gave up and switched to one of my favorite movies of all time, Coming to America. (Brother2 and I can quote this movie to each other all day - it’s kind of stunning for two white Jews, really). And then came this conversation between Akeem, fresh from Africa, and his boss Mr. McDowell, whom he is trying to impress in American style.

Akeem: Sir, I was wondering, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?

McDowell: No, I didn’t.

Akeem: Oh, it was most exhilarating. The Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay, and in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big H. It was a most gripping victory.

McDowell: Son, I’m just gonna tell you this one time.

Akeem (eagerly): Yes, sir?

McDowell: You want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.

That pretty much sums it up for me, yes. Is the game over yet?

Shiny Toy Guns - Waiting

I hope I’m sleeping right now, clock change notwithstanding, but I know those crazy marathoners start early and there won’t be much time to read my blog before it begins. And I’m SO sure Paula Radcliffe is amongst my regulars. Thus, I wrote this in advance to wish a hearty good luck, bon courage, etc. to Paula, who is running the NY Marathon today less than a year after having a baby. Why do I care? If you own a Nike+ attachment for your iPod you already know the answer to this, I’m sure. It’s this gadget you connect to your iPod Nano that transmits a signal from a piece worn in your shoe and gives you all kinds of stats while you’re running (or walking) to tell you how you’re doing. One of the funnest parts is that when you hit your best time or pace or whatever, Paula (or Lance Armstrong but I’m not such a fan of his so whatevs) comes on and says in her chirpy British accent, “Congratulations! You’ve reached your personal best for the mile!” Or that you’ve completed your longest workout, but that happened when my keys fell out of my pocket in the park and I retraced my route 3 times to try to find them, then gave up and went to Brother1’s to collect my spares. It didn’t really feel like an achievement for some reason.

So the fact that Paula cheers me on all the time made me want to do the same for her here in New York. But that would involve actually getting to a viewing spot at a decent hour and unless I really know you, via real life and not iPod, it’s just too much effort. Instead, I’ll wish her success via blog and think of her when I do my afternoon run tomorrow. And who knows? If I lose anything else I may just hear from her.

BTW, I have a little bit of a girl crush on the woman who does the updates on the Nike+. The way she says “halfway point” and “400 meters to go” just really floats my boat. I might have gone to cheer her on. Although I wouldn’t mind telling her that she really should hold off on my updates when the good part of the song is playing. She needs to fix that. Maybe it’s a good thing for both of us that she is just a faceless voice.

Also BTW, if you found a set of keys in Riverside Park in August, I’m usually not around between 9 and 7 so those are good times to rob me.

Pink Floyd - Run Like Hell

Gosh, it’s been a long time since I talked about my stats. It’s really time for “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” but I’ll probably get to that over the weekend because I’m actually planning/cooking a real dinner for Pious B tomorrow night. I have a new cookbook and a will to learn to cook versus what I usually do which is:

a. read directions
b. follow directions exactly
c. mix things together
d. stick in oven or on range

But luckily, Alice Waters has this new “simple foods” cookbook which I am hoping is for simple people, i.e. me, and thus will get me into a new mode where I:

a. read directions but
b. instinctively throw things together
c. taste until it’s what I like
d. heat with an actual technique

This year I have taken on French and running and I say, why can’t I be mediocre yet enthusiastic about this too? I can! Look out, Pi.

Anyway, I did have a topic here, yes. The stats. As I’ve noted before, I often find out something is going on in the world of tennis by how the searches are going in my stats. In case you couldn’t remember how obsessed I am with my stats, I received the following e-card today from my friend, Becky, who knows me all too well.

Indeed.

Today, as you can see at left, my stats were full of searches for pictures of Martina Hingis who isn’t usually even in my top 10, probably because no one is wondering if she’s Jewish. So I did my own search and it turns out she tested positive for cocaine and has decided to retire. Again. Well, I don’t know if the coke is a repeat but the retirement is. You can insert your own “she blew it” joke here. WTG, Martina! I knew I could count on you.

This could be the most disappointing sports month ever. David Nalbandian is playing Roger Federer in Paris today but I couldn’t even bring myself to update his page because I feel like I am cursed by the sports gods. I’m sure there’s a card for that somewhere.

ETA: Hey! Nalby won. Oh me of little faith. I suppose I should update the page.

Eric Clapton - Cocaine