I actually watched the very first reality show of the new generation, Survivor. In fact, on the ultimate show where the winner was decided, I had a guest visiting from Israel where Survivor was unknown and he could not believe that I wouldn’t go out until the show was over. “Don’t you have a VCR?” he asked (this was in, I think, 2000, remember). But I was too afraid of hearing it somewhere else. By the second season, it was devoid of any interest for me because everyone in it had seen the first season and knew how to play it. Of course, there were other reality shows and I have tried to like them. I liked Trading Spaces and Queer Eye For the Straight Guy but after a couple of seasons (or sooner) you realize it’s always the same show. I watched some of Flavor of Love, because I happened to flip past it one day and was stunned by its over-the-topness. I tried Biggest Loser and Wife Swap because they seemed like interesting concepts but in the end I just cringed and felt embarrassed for everyone on them. When I watch most reality TV, I feel like a voyeur, and maybe a little dirty. So I stopped watching most of them except sometimes Cake Boss, because, well, I like cake, and it’s often the only thing on in the middle of the night.

Nowadays, I mainly watch these things: local news (Pat Kiernan on NY1 specifically), magazine shows like 60 Minutes, sports, movies I have already seen, and reruns of shows I watched in the 80′s and 90′s. Again, I am not sure how this happened, even as I just traced the history of my waning interest in the last two paragraphs. And somehow, I, who was the person at the school lunch table who could skillfully dissect the plot of the previous evening’s Mork & Mindy, have become some sort of freak. And I am aware of this. It happened twice just this weekend. First, I had a Twitter conversation with Noshowmo were I felt like I was from Mars because I did not realize a comment about housewives in Beverly Hills was about a TV show. If you could tweet, “I am a moron, explain your tweet like I am a moron,” and not humiliate yourself, I probably would have done so.

Later, I had this conversation with my sister.
She: Have you watched Teach? I bet you’d love it.
Me: Oh, I saw a billboard at the US Open for that. Oh hey, does Tony Danza have the name Tony on the show?
(I then proceed to laugh uproriously at my own joke while my sister looks utterly blank)
She: Uh… yes… his name is Tony Danza
Me: But on the show! Is his name Tony?
She: Yes, it’s Tony Danza.
Me: Really? They just gave up and gave him his full real name?
She: It’s a reality show! He’s himself.
Me: Oh. Yes. Right.

I may actually find this show on the Internet. But this is part of the problem. You have to know what’s going to be good or big if you want to join in the global conversation. Somehow, by the time you find out it’s 30 Rock or The Office, it’s too late. I don’t have Netflix or the time to watch DVDs of five years of a show. And let’s face it, half the fun is being able to discuss the show with other people. When I had HBO, it was easy. A show would come on, it would be made clear to you that This Is A Big Show! Watch This Show! And there would be a manageable season of eight or ten episodes that you could handle. This is why, aside from Lost, the last series (serieses?) with which I kept up were Big Love, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Six Feet Under. So now I am that freak. That freak who understands no cultural reference and doesn’t even get the joke because she doesn’t know the name of a hugely popular (apparently) TV show.

Speaking of TV news, last week I watched a lot of Chilean miner coverage, but I watched it on the Internet. In fact, I got into a tussle with a technology writer I very much admire, Farhad Manjoo, who writes for Slate. I’ll have to put words in his mouth because it was on Twitter and all statements were 140 characters or less, but he seemed to be saying that I was only getting meaning out of what I was seeing because it had been so hyped. Even when I explained that I was seeing an unedited raw feed from the mine with no voiceover, he claimed that my emotional response was manipulated because I had already seen “a month of commentary.” I didn’t know how to say in 140 characters, “are you kidding? Did you notice that no one watches the news or reads the newspaper anymore? I read technology blogs and Gawker. And it wasn’t big on NY1 this month either; they’re more concerned with bedbugs.” It’s claimed that most people get their news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert but I don’t even watch them unless someone posts an interesting clip online.

But, you see, it wasn’t until I had this conversation on Twitter that I realized I no longer watch CNN or MSNBC or even Fox, which is comforting to watch when something’s happening in Israel. I only get the weekend NY Times and I skim it. While I am cooking or baking, I listen to 1010 WINS in the kitchen, but that’s mostly local news, as well. So wow, I am that person. I get my news from blogs. And Twitter. I’m following a trial, the one for the murder of the Petit family in Cheshire, Connecticut, almost exclusively on Twitter. I have a list of all the reporters I could find who are tweeting from the courtroom (it is here) and I have that page open all day. Every now and then I will check back and see what is happening and if it’s a big moment, I stay for a bit. Back in the day, I watched the OJ trial on TV, just like everyone else. I was working at my first label and my boss had a TV. When she was out, which was often, my co-worker and I would eat lunch in her office and watch the trial. But somehow, this is better, because frankly, it’s a gruesome trial and I don’t need to hear every detail, I am just curious about the case and the way it is built and tried (you may remember I like Law & Order as well). But it’s like instantaneous reporting from ten different people and it’s an amazing thing. So much so, that the NY Times covered it. Sometimes I look at the Times app on my iPod, so I get some news there, too. In this case, I saw on my iPod that the NY Times had recognized that people are getting their news from Twitter.

Yesterday, I laughed at someone on Twitter for not getting a visual joke that’s been going around about the Gap logo redesign. And that’s when it hit me: I know every Internet meme and I can tell you what happened at the Windows Smartphone press conference, but I didn’t really know much about the Chilean miners until I happened upon a discussion of it on a forum, whereupon, I flipped to cnn.com and watched a streaming video. I have replaced almost every form of media in my home with something viewable on a device with software and memory.

I haven’t yet decided if this is a good thing, but as soon as I do, I’ll be sure to let you know here, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

Elton John – (Hold me Closer) Tiny Dancer

Can you imagine a less interesting blog post that what I’ve just described in the last paragraph? And yet The New York Times, the newspaper of record, the staid Gray Lady, put that on the front page on Saturday. I have a weird relationship with the print media industry. That is, I see it the way the rest of you see the music industry. I subscribed to the daily NYT from my first year of college (my family were subscribers so I suppose you could say I’ve read it since I could read) through 2007. That’s when I realized I read so many news blogs and online papers that all I ended up doing with the physical paper was throwing it in the recycling bin. I still get the weekend Times (I’m thinking of stopping, though), thus me seeing this on the front page. Like your relationship with my own dying industry, I not only feel like I can get what they sell for free on the Interweb but now I’m beginning to feel it’s mostly crap anyway.

An article about my grocery store’s elevator? Really?

A Slow New York Passage, Up to Organic Food

Title comes from:
Joe Jackson – Sunday Papers

click to enlarge

Maybe the man collapsed when he saw these hot chicks living in an icehouse while he was sweating it out in 108 degree weather.

From the London Telegraph.

Icehouse – No Promises (youtube)

Yankee stadium sees its last game
An illustrious chapter in American sporting history came to an end last night as the Yankee Stadium in New York hosted its last baseball game.

By Tom Leonard in New York
Last Updated: 10:27PM BST 21 Sep 2008

The 57,545-seat stadium, America’s most famous sporting venue and the home for the past 85 years of the New York Yankees, is to be demolished and replaced with a $1.6 billion (£870 million) new ballpark close to its location in the Bronx.

An extra 2,000 security staff were drafted in for the final game to prevent chaos as fans were expected to attempt to rip up the stadium and make off with souvenirs. Fans had previously been found trying to bring spanners into the ground.

The enthusiasm of souvenir hunters is understandable given the unique place the stadium holds in American sports history, not to mention the fact that Nelson Mandela, Muhammad Ali and three popes have spoken there.

The stadium was nicknamed “The House That Ruth Built” in homage to Babe Ruth, the baseball superstar who inaugurated the stadium in 1923.

The so-called “cathedral of baseball”, with its famous 12ft high letters spelling out its name, went on to become home to 26 World Series-winning teams.

However, there was no spectacular finale yesterday as the Yankees, currently languishing in the baseball league, played the even less successful Baltimore Orioles.

I wonder if I should watch now. I mean, they say right there that it wasn’t spectacular. What to do, what to do.

By the way, I wonder where “Tom Leonard in New York” really is. Maybe he’s in a bar, picking up a chick right now. Perhaps he’s on the beach in Spain. Perhaps there really is no Tom Leonard. Whichever it is, I’m sad to see that baseball fans in the UK are being swindled in this fashion. Both of them.

Yankee stadium sees its last game

Thompson Twins – Lies

Duke of York and his travelling ironing board

The ironing board with the HRH label was spotted by baggage handlers in the hold of the plane taking the Duke to Vietnam from Heathrow’s Terminal 5 on Friday.

There’s more, but you get the idea. Yes, this entire article can be summarized by saying, “Prince Andrew’s staff carry an ironing board with them when he travels. To iron his clothes on. Because he wears a lot of suits and needs to look neat.”

My God, who knew? Tomorrow in the Telegraph, Prince William travels with comb.

*J-Ball Management not responsible for people getting slapped. Especially after the event detailed below.

This post was meant for our Friday light post but as you can see, I got too busy to even hit the “publish” button. Oops. But now you can enjoy these items from last week’s International papers as you sip your coffee this morning instead.

From the London Daily Telegraph:
Wham! fan fined for Christmas revel in May

A fan of the 1980s pop band Wham! tormented neighbours by playing their hit song Last Christmas all night. Brian Turner repeatedly played the song at full volume from 1am onwards one night in May this year. Now he has been silenced after becoming the first noise nuisance to be prosecuted by Newcastle city council’s night watch team. Magistrates fined Turner, of Sandyford, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, £200 and ordered him to pay £215 costs.

Gosforth magistrates were told that he was visiting friends in a nearby flat in the suburb of Walker on May 15 when he began playing the Christmas single, to the annoyance of the residents. He played the hit by George Michael, whose hits with Wham! included Bad Boys and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, relentlessly from 1am to 4am. Finally a neighbour snapped and called in the council noise squad, who eventually gave residents some peace by seizing the stereo.

Becca’s commentary: wake me up before you go go, then I shoot you for driving me batty.

From Le Monde:
Les cambrioleurs et la tentation du pot de Nutella
(The Burglars and the Temptation of the Jar of Nutella)

Don’t make me translate the whole article, especially the parts I had trouble with. But basically, the cops are patrolling in the wee hours and they see a couple of suspicious looking teens so they stop them and search their bags (no warrant needed in France I guess).

…the police officers discover a portable computer, a digital camera, two mobile telephones, a pack of cigarettes and… a jar of Nutella. Objects which the two teenagers have just stolen from a house a few minutes earlier.

Yes, while they were swiping the valuables, the two burglars, 15 and 16 years old, couldn’t resist the lure of Nutella. Who hasn’t been in that situation?

Becca’s commentary: as they said in the Godfather, leave the computer, take the Nutella.

Actually, a thief in Beit Shemesh, Israel, where my cousins used to live had an M.O. of stealing your valuables plus any fruit you had laying around the kitchen. He especially liked bananas.

Speaking of laughter, feel free to check out my new page which details the songs I have purchased on iTunes. It’s over there in the box with Pages on the upper right (you could have guessed that, I know). I reserve the right to take down this feature should my purchases get even more embarrassing. It’s a widget. Yes, I broke down and added a widget.

Wham! – Last Christmas

I had to rewind this first bit twice. I think I wasn’t totally aware that a man could care this much about a sheep.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Bang! Actually, the bear that he’s so deeply stressed about was killed by a car, thus saving this man years of therapy.

And then we have this guy. Now, I’m sure I’m going to hell for making fun of this story but somehow, something about this clip just cracks my shit up. No, sorry, sorry, this man’s love for his cows is, um, special. Very special.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The background is that foot-and-mouth disease in the UK (it sounds better in French, fièvre aphteuse) has caused this man’s herd, which he was apparently very, uh, close to, to have to be destroyed. Including Ned, the lovely old bull.

But this all reminds me of a story of when my Mom came down with some sort of human variation of foot-and-mouth and my Dad said, “oh no, they’re going to have to kill the whole herd!”

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Hey! How are you? Remember me? I’m the one who watches you faithfully because you focus on the minutiae of NY life. You talk about Christine Quinn when the other channels are having cooking segments. So naturally I turned to you this morning after being woken up at 6:45 am by a crack of thunder so loud I thought a tree had fallen from the roof through several floors and apartments above mine. I mean, well, first I went back to sleep because I don’t get up before eight, but you know, later. Due to the fact that there was three inches of rain, I was pretty sure our lame-ass transit system would have some issues, and by issues I figured nothing running. I sort of assumed that this would be the most important story in New York this morning and you’d have a list of what was running and where.

Gosh, how stupid of me! Footage of downed trees in Bay Ridge matter to as wide a swath of New Yorkers as subway issues, right? I realize that a tornado hitting Brooklyn is big news, but couldn’t that have been the second story? Couldn’t the first one be “your lifeline – not running?” Sure, we’re all satisfied with a message like “Paul Fleuranges says to stay home for a while.” That’s enough detail for me! And later, hearing Pat Kiernan say, “I keep refreshing the MTA website but it says it’s down,” well, of course I understand. Isn’t that how reporters get their news? I mean, when I turned to Channel 5 and they had an MTA spokesman on the phone talking about which lines had service changes, well, come on, they could have been refreshing the MTA website! What were they thinking?

So when I set out for the IRT and found the #1 running sporadically (when I asked the MTA lady at the station if it was running, she said, “yes, but they’re hot and crowded,” I thought, “so how is today different?”) of course I knew that because you had told me to stay home and that trees were down in Bay Ridge.

Oh, and the conductor who said there was a train directly behind the one I couldn’t get on while sweat poured down my entire body, whereas in fact another one didn’t show for 30 minutes? I know that one wasn’t your fault but I choose to blame you anyway.

You fail as bad as the MTA, NY1. The difference is, I never had any faith in them in the first place.

Sincerely,
New fan of Channel 5

This is what my commute looked like once I got on the train. Apparently, other people’s too. This is from the NY Times, Storms Snarl New York Commute.

a. busy record release schedule
b. week before Passover whirlwind
c. shockingly crazy social life

It’s led to the sort of clusterfuck which means more living, less blogging. People think that bloggers have no lives and thus can sit and write essays all the livelong day. But in reality, it’s a delicate balance of life to no life and once it gets upset, well, the blog’s going to suffer.

Anyhoo, I don’t have any sort of special topic so instead I’m going to comment on several items from the local news here in our fair city. This is good if you are like me and have a really short attention span. Look, something shiny!

1. Building collapse
This is something I never used to hear about, living in the suburbs as a child. Maybe that’s because suburbs were all built after 1950 and my current building, for example, dates from 1899. But still, should buildings just spontaneously collapse like this? Should I wonder if there’s going to be a pile of rubble when I go home? In my old building I used to hide my dope in case something happened while I was at work and someone had to go into my apartment. I’ve since solved that problem by buying an apartment and thus having no money for dope.

2. Wal-Mart to Manhattan: Drop dead
Likewise!

No seriously, I love new stores, everyone knows that, but couldn’t we get a Target? Oh, who am I kidding, there will be 49 new Commerce Bank branches before that happens.

3. Matthew Fox from Lost to speak at Columbia University
And I’m sure he’ll have oh-so-many words of wisdom to impart.

Can anyone get me tickets?

4. Is the restaurant Le Marais really Kosher?
And if it’s not, why is it so freaking expensive? Not to mention, forget all that, I was always told it was named after a Jewish neighborhood in Paris. Then I went there and found it was a gay neighborhood (not that the two are mutually exclusive or anything). What’s up with that?

5. Opening Day just five days away!
Oh, even I can’t snark on that.

6. Local eatery found to be rat-free.
Oh bwahahahaha, I made that up.

Of course, in the most exciting news of the week, I finally got Police tickets. Now I just need to find a collapse-proof building in which to store them until August.

The Police – Too Much Information