Magic Jewball

Do you remember when your favorite radio station died? Because I’m sure it’s dead by now, even if it’s been reincarnated in a wholly different form. If the station you grew up with is exactly the same now, I’ll give you a nickel. See, mine died about 15 times. First there there was a lawsuit and it was given to another owner who pretended it was the same, but it never really was. Half the DJ’s left but they mostly came back. My true station, WLIR, had the Screamer of the Week. The new station, WDRE (a play on LIR’s slogan “The Station That Dares to be Different”), had the “Shriek of the Week.” Nice, right? I mean, they still played the stuff no one else in the area was playing, stuff from the UK, non-album-tracks, weirdo New Wave acts and such, Depeche Mode all day, etc., but it felt cheap. Eventually, it shifted formats several times, to Modern Rock, to AAA (Adult Album Alternative), yadda yadda. Along the way, it became WLIR again but by then I no longer was in an area that got reception so I pretty much lost track of all that.

I did notice when it was bought by Univision and went Spanish in 2004. That felt like death. Just like the first time they were forced off the air, they played Alphaville’s Forever Young and closed. But they were reborn! On a frequency no one was able to receive, but that was OK, they also had the Interweb and we all get that, don’t we? But you know, all those deaths weren’t enough and even that incarnation became a smooth jazz station (because there’s so much non-smooth jazz out there). But that failed! And WLIR came back! Until this week, when it closed for good and became an affiliate of ESPN radio. So farewell to my station which died a thousand deaths.

And here’s to my favorite DJ’s: Donna Donna, Nancy Abramson, Malibu Sue, Denis McNamara, Larry the Duck, Ben Manilla, Mark the Shark, Bob Waugh, and lots of others who were my daily companions. One of the highlights of my first label gig was when the Alternative Promotion lady let me talk to Bob Waugh on the phone and ask him some questions. He ended the call by saying, “thanks for calling in!” I guess that’s the way DJ’s close their calls in real life too.

Most of the iPod Songs of the Week, I heard them on WLIR first. The kind of music that people consider 80’s music now was only played here on LIR: U2, Culture Club, Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Smiths, Squeeze, Tears For Fears, The Ramones, The Clash. Some bands who didn’t become popular in the general world until the 90’s were already played on LIR in the 80’s: REM, Red Hot Chili Peppers, B-52’s. Z100, the popular Top 40 station here, was playing the Footloose soundtrack and Madonna and Genesis and Wang Chung. Eventually they got around to music LIR had been all over for months. This is why as a child I was a Police and U2 fan when my friends were listening to pop. I remember going to England as a teenager and finding that all the bands I had to go to the tiny underground (literally, it was underground) record store to find were front and center in the regular racks… like Bryan Adams was here. It was like I’d died and gone to New Wave heaven.

So thanks, WLIR, for daring to be different and making me the music fan I am today. Satellite radio rocks my world now but it will never be in my heart the way the stations of my youth were. RIP.

Alphaville - Forever Young

Speaking of dreams, one of mine came true this week and it’s going to change my life. Dear diary, it’s really happened, they opened a Target near me. If you are savvy, and you know New York or Target or both, you will say, “Becca, there’s no new Target near you - the last one opened like last year. Or the year before.” True. But I thought it was in The Bronx. It turns out, it’s in Riverdale. If you are inclined to think that Riverdale is actually in The Bronx, hey, just ask someone from Riverdale. Or plug the address of the Target into Hopstop and use The Bronx as the borough. Nothing, right? Well, try Manhattan. Yes, Hopstop considers 225th Street in Riverdale to be Manhattan. Nice.

I just consider it somewhere safe to shop. And shop I did. It’s 25 minutes away by subway! And no changes! One line, up, down, etc. Do you know how nice that is with bags filled to the brim with inexpensive merchandise? I may never shop at Duane Reade again, I don’t care if it’s on every corner of my intersection. Which it is. On the way back, I ended up talking to some lady from the Village (she didn’t understand the weekend service changes on the IRT, which have been going on for most of my adult life, it seems, so I am a fount of information) who had only come so far because she had a gift card. For ten dollars. And she said it took her an hour to find anything she could possibly want. Are you kidding me? I made comments to the effect of “$5 toothpaste at Duane Reade, $2.39 at Target” and such, and her answer was, “I shop at the 99 cents store, I never go to Duane Reade.” Well, if you want to die of poisoning from Crist brand Chinese toothpaste, have at it, sister! It later emerged that her handbag cost four hundred dollars. I cannot make this stuff up. By the way, I spent $165 at Tar-jhay. And I may go back this Sunday.

I want you to know, I have nothing against The Bronx. It’s actually my third favorite borough! Right in the middle. Here’s how it shakes out:

1. Manhattan - This may surprise you if this is your first day on this website.
2. Brooklyn - Sentimental favorite - I’m half Brooklynese and have swell memories.
3. The Bronx - Yankee Stadium, The Bronx Zoo, Botanical Gardens - what’s not to like? Please don’t answer that.
4. Queens - I suppose I just don’t really like Queens, maybe it’s the fact that I only find myself there in a huge hurry to make a plane. But it has the National Tennis Center and until they move it to somewhere better, I’ll continue to just enjoy it one week of the year.
5. Staten Island - I’ve seen it more often in Working Girl than real life. I believe I have spent one day there ever. I think I was ten.

So there you have it. And actually, I’m not sure I want a Target in Manhattan. Have you seen Union Square lately? And by lately, I mean in the last ten years. No, really, it’s beginning to make even I, who love chain stores, kind of queasy. So let’s keep it just over the border in The Bronx Riverdale, shall we?

KRS-One - South Bronx

Well, Dahnuh has gone home to the Left Coast but we had a splendid time while she was here and I got to do all the touristy things that I never do. Except when houseguests are here, which I admit is fairly often. But it’s fun to be a visitor in your own town! Did you know we have museums here? Also, shopping, parks, and restaurants. I may come here more often.

One thing we did that I have done before but I still always like, no matter how touristy it is, is to do the Circle Line boat ride around Manhattan. You can do the whole island but we only did the lower half, which is fine, since you may have noticed I live on the upper half. And because I wasn’t an aloof local that day, I took lots of pictures! I pretended I was visiting from Omaha. Wow, Manhattan is sure different from… stuff they have in Omaha. Actually, we seemed to be the only Americans on the boat. I think there’s a holiday going on in the Old Country.

They sure have a lot of tall buildings in Manhattan.

Look at all those people standing in line! Suckers.

Here’s the East Side. I didn’t even know Manhattan had an East Side! It got really windy so I took this from inside. Enjoy the glassiness.

Manhattan is an island and has a lot of bridges. I learned this from our fascinating and informative tour guide. Also, what TV shows his girlfriend likes.

So that was it. Then we walked back to Times Square where we shopped for quality souvenirs amongst the populi. We also saw two cops chatting with the entrepreneur peddling copies of “How to Roll A Blunt For Dummies” from a sidewalk table. They mysteriously moved on when I sought to take a picture.

But we had a fine few days, eating BBQ, bagels with lox and cream cheese, Persian food, and Jacques Torres chocolate; I even cooked for Dah one day. Really. I mean, I baked for her too but JBall readers will know that that’s just a given. Now she’s gone but she left me with a two pound box of See’s candies so I have that going for me. Also, two bottles of wine and a beer. But I think the See’s will go faster.

Dah, who is of Japanese descent, thought that Godzilla would have liked NY better than Tokyo. The ultimate compliment! I am really going to miss this place.

Title comes from:

Gang Of Four - At Home He’s A Tourist

Sometimes, you’re just standing at the end of the day, waiting for the subway, staring into space and thinking of Greek gelato, when something jumps out at you to remind you of why you’re going away.

Oh yeah, that’s it.

By the way, does anyone know if Internet cafés in Greece have English alphabet keyboards? Because it’s going to make it awfully hard to blog from there otherwise. I couldn’t even manage the transposed q and a in France; I foresee trouble. Anyone want to guest post while I’m away? Serious offers will be entertained. And by entertained I mean dancing girls.

Late-breaking update, 11am: We have a hotel, people, we have a hotel. PS, Thank God everyone in Greece is named Dmitris. It makes life so much easier.

Hey, remember this post where I said I hoped I’d never need a rat song so I was using one for no reason? I knew that would come back to haunt me. Luckily lots of people have rat songs! This one’s dedicated to a friend in this band’s hometown who is dealing with a tough time. Your pal, Casey Kasem.

Deftones - Rats!Rats!Rats!

And now, a PSA to tourists. And not that “ha ha, I’m making fun of you by pointing out that you walk slow or wear loud colors or unfold maps in ways that block the whole sidewalk” kind. No, this is real and sincere. Mostly because it’s begun to annoy the hell out of me. See, if you’ve been here you know we use a little thing called a Metrocard to get into the subway (and buses too, but that’s not on my agenda today). You can get them in pay-per-ride and unlimited-for-one-price formats. Say you walk into an entrance of the subway which is kinda dark and kinda empty and there are no humans selling Metrocards, just machines. And a guy who looks like he is either homeless, on drugs, just released from prison, or all three, offers to sell you a swipe of a Metrocard for a dollar (one ride is $2, unless you buy unlimited). Now, I know what you, my wise reader, would do. But what about your friends and neighbors? Why do they always say, “Sure! Thanks! What a deal!”?

After seeing this day after day, I began to ask the tourists (and they always are, seriously) why they do this. Actually, I begin by saying, “um, that’s not legal, you know?” Except for the one guy, who I swear, right in front of his kid said “Yeah, I know, mind your own fucking business,” most people are baffled. “Really?” they say. “How could this be a problem?” I don’t get this at all. How can you not know you’re doing something shady? The ride costs $2, a skeevy person offers to sell it to you for $1. How can this possibly be on the up and up?

Why should I care? Well, there are two reasons. One, I don’t like to come down to the subway after a long day at work and find it full of criminals waiting for their next mark. If people didn’t buy them, they wouldn’t be there. And second, I like you tourists, I really do, you make me look at my city a whole new way, but many times, I’m forced to put up with you. Maybe I’ve mentioned but there are a lot of you, you move slowly, and I have to wait on line behind you at Whole Foods. But I do put up with you because you bring in lots of money. This is the way the world economy works. Next month, the good people of Athens will put up with me because they want my money. It all goes round and round. But when you buy $1 rides from criminals with unlimited cards, that’s $8 (there are four of you on average) that isn’t going to the transit authority. Then there is a shortfall at the MTA. Guess who gets their fare jacked up? You guessed it, me, and all the nice people of New York who have put up with you. Er, your friends and neighbors.

Actually, I got into a whole conversation with a woman who saw me inform the last group of tourists that that was illegal (”really? will we be arrested?”) and asked me incredulously how these people could not know that this wasn’t a good idea. She wasn’t even American originally but had moved from Paris twenty years earlier. Then, as happens to any two strangers in New York who have lived there many years, we both began bemoaning the loss of mom-and-pop stores to the big chains. That’s another lesson for tourists. If you really want to fit in, say, “Remember when this was Shakespeare & Co.? Those were the days.”

Photo by PiratenBraut @ Flickr