Magic Jewball

So much for that “one per day” thing. Life is beginning to get out of hand here at Becca Central. I wish I had a blog so I could tell you about it.

Paige asks:

How do you plan your vacation when one is kosher? What if you want to vacation on a remote resort, but there is no description of a kosher restaurant available? Or is there more of an abundance of kosher resorts and vacation spots in a region that has more residents and visitors keeping kosher?

P.S. I’ve really learned a lot on this site and my husband and I enjoy discussing your blog. Thanks for the insight! Hope my question isn’t silly!

Thanks! And no question is silly, silly! I hope you had fun in Atlantis. Isn’t that the place no one can find? Hey everyone, it’s in the Bahamas!

Onto the (Kosher) meat of your question. To start with, like all laws that come from the Torah (5 books of Moses/Pentateuch, etc.), the laws of Kashrut (Kosher as a noun) have been totally expounded upon, reinterpreted, and vary from region to region. So being Kosher means different things to different people. Among the most strictly Kosher people, little food you can find in a place like the Bahamas would work. Maybe salad. They tend to bring their own food and in fact, this is what we did when I was a child. I vividly remember being in London and having my parents ask the hotel if we could store our Kosher bag of fun in their fridge. Nowadays, many hotel rooms have fridges so it’s easier. We also traveled through the South eating pecan bars and milkshakes from McDonald’s. In the morning, my Dad would run to the nearest grocery store and bring cereal and milk back to the motel. Good times!

If you are one step below that in your strictness, you can find things to eat that haven’t been cooked, like tuna salad sandwiches, cheese, or things like that. Some people will eat at vegetarian restaurants. If you are even more liberal than that you will eat dairy food or fish that’s cooked, but not meat. Some people just don’t eat pig or shellfish and call it a day. The point is, you can almost always find something, no matter what your level. I lived for a week in Greece on Greek salad and donuts. Not together.

Also, there are actually kosher restaurants in the most surprising places. India has them. Mexico. Maybe not Atlantis, but you get me. And there are indeed Kosher resorts, Kosher cruises, and even Kosher Club Med. And yet I chose donuts… I am sure this surprises no one who knows me.

So that’s it. Just like any way of eating, keeping Kosher isn’t hard when you plan, and although sometimes it may keep you from doing a vacation you might have wanted, I don’t know anyone for whom this has happened. Most people vacation anywhere they like and just plan ahead. Or lose some weight, that’s not a bad outcome either.

Thanks for writing!

So I’ve gotten several Jew & A questions over the last week, excellent! You see, I love it when people tell me what to write about, it works out much better. I hope to get to one per day this week. We’ll see. If you are waiting for yours, I am going in the order in which they were received. Yes, I learned that from the phone tree.

Now then, I wasn’t sure about this one. It could be 3 or 4 different questions based on where you put commas. Hmmm.

william(yeah not so jewish) writes:

Adin Steinsaltz, the most enlightened man woman or beast on the planet, has a take on reincarnation, definitely a path for the tribe…what’s your take and when you’re running ….Who are you?

Ow, that broke my brain. I don’t really know much about Adin Steinsaltz, honestly. I know he is a famous Rabbi (still alive!) who translated the Talmud, which is the series of arguments about and commentaries on the Torah that form most of Jewish law, into English. I know this because that’s what I used on the side to get myself through Talmud class in High School. ZOMG, that made things so much easier. Come on, only Mel Gibson speaks Aramaic!

I gather he’s also somewhat into kabbalah and mysticism. Does he believe in reincarnation? I’ll take your word for that, William not so Jewish. Now, here’s where it gets tricky. Is the question, what’s my take on reincarnation? On Adin Steinsaltz? On the path for the tribe? And is it, who am I when I’m running? Or, what’s my take when I’m running and by the way, who am I?

This is where my brain explodes.

I don’t know much about Kabbalah, as the world I grew up in didn’t emphasize it except to mention Yosef Caro and the Zohar for a couple of minutes. I do think Madonna/Esther and the folks who run that center in LA exploit it for their own ends. That doesn’t seem very mystical.

For those who are curious about the whole red-string part of Judaism, it’s about the mystical, hidden meanings in the Torah and other Jewish writings. It’s controversial with many Jews eschewing it completely and others going whole-hog. So to speak.

The point is, on this one, I can give you my opinion but I’m not really an expert.

For me personally, I don’t believe in reincarnation. I think each soul is utterly unique and there’s never been one like it before or since. And I don’t even believe in your loved ones looking down from Heaven. I don’t know if there’s an afterlife but tend to doubt it and I believe when you’re dead, you’re dead and that’s it. Is that the Jewish view? Not really, it’s a lot more “world to come” based. But you asked for my take.

If your question is, “who am I?” then the answer is in the FAQ but it just points you to the sidebar. As I’ve indicated lots of times over the course of the blog, I try to keep my private life out of the blog and the blog out of my private life. I’ve been semi-successful with that.

If it’s “Who am I” in the metaphysical sense, I dropped out of philosophy after two classes. You may have noticed, my brain is fragile and prone to confusion at difficult concepts.

If the question is, when I’m running who am I, then that is easy. When I’m running I am a jet engine which takes off with a flourish, has lots of turbulence but also some smooth sailing, and in the end, everyone’s just glad to be in one piece and at the destination.

By the way, I know several Jewish Williams. Thanks for writing!

Even though I only need to apologize to IrishCardinal on this one, I’m going to apologize to everyone. Because I swear it won’t take me this long to answer your Jew & A question. It’s just that I knew very little about this topic and so I had to research it. And by that I mean ask a couple of people I know. We’re very scientific in our approach here. Anyway, finally the question. I mean, finally, the answer. Because I’ve had the question a while now.

IrishCardinal asks:

Is there still Yiddish theater, newspapers, etc in NYC? Is Yiddish a single language, or are the dialects from country to country different enough that a Russian Jew couldn’t understand a Hungarian Jew if both were speaking Yiddish? Or is it more like a person from Brooklyn speaking American-English with a person from West Memphis–close enough but a few words you aren’t so sure about?

First off, some education for the rest of you not as involved with languages as I know Irish is. Yiddish (or Jewish - Yid means Jew in Yiddish) is a language which is a combination of German, Hebrew, Russian, and several other things, spoken primarily by the Jews of Eastern Europe over the last few centuries of diaspora living. Anyone who has eaten Jewish food (gefilte means filled or stuffed) or practiced modern Judaism (aufruf, to be called to the Torah before your wedding, comes from “call up” in German - I know this because I saw it on an unemployment poster in Berlin) knows some Yiddish.

When the large influx of Jews from that area started coming to America in the late 19th century, Yiddish was hugely prevalent in New York with many newspapers (in 1915 there were 5 dailies here) and a thriving cultural scene. These days, not so much. More on that in a minute. But these days, Yiddish is mostly kept alive by force of will and lots of effort. The only community here which regularly speaks Yiddish is the Hassidic one. I’ve often sat on the train or in a shop on the Lower East Side overhearing a conversation between folks speaking in Yiddish. These sects came over together from Europe and still speak that language to this day. Unlike the secular folks who wanted to shed the vestiges of the old country ASAP, the Hassidim didn’t really assimilate and thus, Hassidic kids probably aren’t snickering at their parents’ accents as my Grandma did. Well, I assume, I can’t really ask her.

Yiddish Theater was large and active in New York at the turn of the century and probably through the 30’s. It had many stars, including the one you’ve all seen playing Yente the Matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof, Molly Picon. My source tells me there is still one Yiddish Theater in New York, the Foksbiene. Hassidim don’t go to the theater, which is too bad.

As for newspapers, I was really interested in this question myself, because one of my favorite books for ages has been A Bintel Brief which is a selection from the advice column of the Forverts, or Jewish Daily Forward, a paper that exists to this day. But way back when, it had a no-nonsense advice column for new immigrants confusedly trying to navigate Die Goldene Medina, the golden land, i.e., here. Anyway, the situations ranged from the mundane (”my boss docks two cents from my wages when I’m late”) to the religious (”I’m a free-thinker but I have a sweet voice - am I permitted to take a job as a Cantor?”) to the poignant (”My husband said he’d send for me in Russia when he had enough money saved but he never did and now I came on my own with my poor children and found he had married someone else.”). And they are all translated from Yiddish and preserved the flavor and phrasing of the original, (”Well, dear editor, I ran from that situation as if from a fire!”).

I knew The Forward was still around but it turns out they only put a weekend edition out in Yiddish, the rest is English. There are several other papers which also put out a once-a-week edition, including one by the Satmar, a large Hassidic sect.

As for dialects, this was harder to get an answer on. As far as I know, there were differences in the Yiddish spoken by the Jews of different areas of Europe coming to New York in the big immigration wave, but not enough to keep them from understanding each other. Plus, most of the immigrants came from areas of Eastern Europe which had the dialect closest to each other (as opposed to German and then Western European communities). And like everything else, when they all got mixed here, things became more standardized. I’m not sure whether the different Hassidic sects, which are the folks mostly using Yiddish today, have different dialects from each other. Since none of them will really talk to me, that answer will have to wait, unless any of my readers know. But they all seem to be able to argue with each other just fine, so there must be some understanding there.

For further research, the biggest archive and library of Yiddish is the YIVO Institute, which started out in Vilna (then Poland, now Vilnius, Lithiuania) in 1925 but is alive and kicking.

So now you all know why we refer to kipah (yarmulke)-wearing Jews as Yids With Lids. And as always, thanks for writing!

As promised, the answers to your pressing Passover queries! Sadly, there’s no suspense since the questions were in the comments. Luckily, half of you never read the comments.

Lydia asks:
Why in the world do you have to get rid of all your food? As a fat girl, that would make me extremely sad.

It makes everyone sad. And tired, very tired. Judaism is all about taking the most basic pronouncement God makes and taking it to the extreme. And why not? His pronouncements are pretty weighty. Passover celebrates the exodus of the Children of Israel from Egypt and slavery. Pharaoh kept changing his mind about it so when the Jews got the OK they dashed! Because of this, the bread they had been baking didn’t really have time to rise and instead became matzah, a kind of crispy flatbread. To commemorate this, God said we’re not supposed to eat bread on Passover and our sages have taken that to mean we must clean every speck of chametz (food that has any bread or flour involved with it) out of our homes. So unless it has a symbol on it (usually a regular Kosher symbol with a P next to it) that ensures that, out it must go. Then you clean every bit of your home (especially if you’re like me and you drink your coffee in bed each morning) to make sure nothing remains. It’s like Spring cleaning on steroids! And just when you think you’re done you find a Jolly Rancher in your messenger bag. Oops.

Here’s a good description from jewfaq.org:

The process of cleaning the home of all chametz in preparation for Pesach is an enormous task. To do it right, you must prepare for several weeks and spend several days scrubbing everything down, going over the edges of your stove and fridge with a toothpick and a Q-Tip, covering all surfaces that come in contact with food with foil or shelf-liner, etc., etc., etc.

In reality, you don’t throw everything out. There are other options:

a. Finish it up! If you lived in a home like the one in which I grew up, you ate creative recipes like pasta with cumin and ketchup from about late February onward. By the end, you’d sneak out to Baskin-Robbins for dinner just so you could avoid tuna-noodle casserole sans tuna or noodles.
b. Give it away! The homeless love Passover!
c. Sell it! No, really. Most people (Becca included) set up contracts with a friendly neighborhood non-Jew in which they sell their chametz (that’s the forbidden food) for a nominal amount and buy it back at the end of the holiday. Then you cover it up or get it out of your sight (I put mine in my storage space) and don’t mess with it till Passover has passed over.

Next year, I’ll be selling my chametz to Lydia to cheer her up.

Sarpon asks:
No Starbucks?

Actually, Starbucks’ bagged coffee often has the O-U P symbol on it. But the coffee they make in the shop does not and comes into too much contact with all the other bready goodness they sell. During the regular year, the fact that they sell ham sandwiches is pretty separate from the coffee. But on Passover, things are really strict and the bread in the sandwich is the death knell for having a latte there. But let me tell you, that is the first thing I buy for Passover each year, a bag o’Starbucks. I’m still waiting for Moses’ Pesach Blend, though.

Not a question, but Alex suggests I clarify the title of my last post. Passover is, in fact, only eight days in the diaspora (that is, outside Israel). In Israel it’s only seven, thus negating my catchy post title. This is because (and I’m going to again steal from jewfaq.org, because I still have a lot of cleaning with Q-tips and toothpicks to do):

The Jewish calendar is lunar, with each month beginning on the new moon. The new months used to be determined by observation. When the new moon was observed, the Sanhedrin [kind of like the supreme court] declared the beginning of a new month and sent out messengers to tell people when the month began. People in distant communities could not always be notified of the new moon (and therefore, of the first day of the month), so they did not know the correct day to celebrate. They knew that the old month would be either 29 or 30 days, so if they didn’t get notice of the new moon, they celebrated holidays on both possible days. This practice of celebrating an extra day was maintained as a custom even after we adopted a precise mathematical calendar, because it was the custom of our ancestors.

Since Liverpool is outside Israel, John, Paul, George, and Ringo called their song “Eight Days A Week.” Yep.

Joy Division - Passover

The lesson of this post is that you can send in a Jew&A question at any time and when I run out of all other ideas, I’ll actually get to your question, probably long after you stopped even caring about it or reading this blog. So, onward.

EmeraldMPH asks:

I have a question about staying kosher.

A Jewish acquaintance of mine who stays kosher once made a chicken for me and my roommate that she brought over in a disposable aluminum roasting pan to warm in our oven because our roasting pan would not be kosher (as she explained it).

However, she then ate with our silverware off our dishes. She also goes to restaurants and eats with their silverware off their dishes.

I guess I don’t understand where the line needs to be drawn. You have to keep your own dishes and flatware kosher, but you can eat off anyone else’s? I mean, how do you know that someone didn’t just have a bacon cheeseburger with a side of lobster on that dish? Or does it matter?

Well, here’s the deal, according to me, because let me tell you, you could get a lot of different answers to this question, including, “wow, she’s not really kosher at all.” But, in my opinion, Judaism is about interpretation and what you feel comfortable with and believe in. Especially with the laws of kashrut (that’s the noun form of kosher), there is an interpretation for every grain of sand on the beach. Most people I know who are kosher would not eat on those dishes at all. Some might eat cold food only (doesn’t pick up any of those miniscule pork bits left over). Many wouldn’t have eaten chicken that was cooked in an oven that’s also used for non-kosher chicken.

Some people eat dairy and fish in non-kosher restaurants. Some people don’t trust the food on El Al (Israel’s airline) to be kosher enough for them and need the meal that was endorsed by a certain Rabbi instead. Once when I was on Iberia airlines to Israel I saw that the regular meals had a little note on them that said there was no pig products in the meal. For many secular Israelis, that’s enough. Most people who consider themselves Orthodox wouldn’t have touched it. Bottom line to me is that each person needs to worry about what he/she does and let the rest of the universe choose what’s best for them. Just don’t expect Joe Glatt Kosher to eat off the rest of the universe’s plates.

DuJane asks:

Can you ride in an ambulance on the Sabbath?

Yes, if it’s a medical emergency. Well, I guess by definition it would be since they don’t usually take you by ambulance to have your nose done. But saving a life takes precedence over any other Halachic (Jewish legal) reason. There are exceptions for sanctifying God’s name, but sabbath observance doesn’t fall into that category.

Am I allowed to ask about sex on the Sabbath?

Yes, you’re allowed to ask. Next!

Oh, I kid. Sex is actually encouraged on the sabbath, since you’re supposed to enjoy the sabbath and well, for most people it’s a pretty enjoyable thing. I guess, “is bad sex allowed on the sabbath” would have a more complex answer.

I’m all out of religious referenced songs so we’ll use this one with that “crawl into my ambulance” line.

Manfred Mann– For You