Magic Jewball

But you know, I’m supposed to be writing a paper. Plus Facebook seems to just shove these things in your face, doesn’t it? So I was just checking in, because, well, it seems the thing to do in the middle of the night when you should be doing something else. And then I saw it was one of my HS boyfriends’ birthdays today (happy birthday!) and someone I knew fairly well in college (well duh, we’re Facebook friends, doncha know) had sent him good wishes on the day. Right there in my feed: “College Friend -> High School Friend: Happy Birthday!” Weird! How the hell would they know each other? But then I remembered this conversation we’d had when he came back to visit Hopkins the year after he graduated and somehow we got on this topic. I don’t remember if it was, “you went to High School X, didn’t you?” or something similar, but somehow it was discovered that his sister was marrying my ex. This is what happens when you are only 1% of the population. Your college friend’s sister ends up marrying your ex from someplace completely different.

But I forgot about that until this very moment when that wall post brought it all back in a flash. If this were TV you’d see me looking at my computer confusedly and then the picture would go all wavy to Young Me sitting in stunned indignation at the sabbath dinner table of the Kosher Dining Hall. And then we come back to me right here at my laptop gazing at my Facebook feed.

Here’s something I always remember about that ex, though (and I remember a lot of things, believe me). When he got his driver’s license, he drove on over to my house in his beat-up, so old it barely had seat belts, Dodge to show me he could drive, and promptly hit my parents’ car. That’s what bumpers are for! But he was just that kind of guy. Anyway, I went just now to look at the wife of my ex/sister of my friend’s page and what do you know? Her and my ex’s daughter just got her driver’s license this week. The post was “S_____ just passed her driving test! She’d better start saving for a car.” What, no unsafe-at-any-speed mobile to give her?

I refrained from telling the story about S____’s father’s big driver’s license moment in a comment. Particularly since I’ve never met this woman and how many people do I really want to freak out today? Besides you people, of course. But this, my friends, is why you do not need big round numbers to tell you that you are old. Also because the below event, which seemed to be way in the future when the episode came out, is today.

Luckily, just like Lisa, I haven’t aged a bit.

This could be my most inspired song choice ever. Just for a treat, link goes to full song on YouTube.
The Normal – Warm Leatherette