Magic Jewball

all signs point to no

 

Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone

Filed under : Life in general
On April 29, 2009
At 10:20 pm
Comments :Comments Off

It’s been a busy week and I’ve been to both the doctor AND the dentist so you know it was another period of pain and Vicodin. But never mind that. While I was in the waiting room of the doctor’s office (and I mostly get the last appointment of the day because I work late so things are usually pretty empty), I listened to two kids making prank phone calls with the older kid’s cell phone. It was a tween girl and maybe a ten-year-old boy and the boy did the talking while the girl clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle uproarious laughter. In a thick Bronx accent, he would say, “Hello, I’m calling from Bank of Amerikuh and yo loan is expiuhed. Hello? Hello?” He seemed genuinely surprised each time someone hung up on him, which everyone did within three seconds. And then it hit me why kids’ prank phone calls fail. Because kids sound like kids! This may seem entirely obvious to you but it did not to me when I was an adolescent. I mean, say he had said, “Good evening, sir, I am calling from Bank of America regarding your loan, there is a problem,” it still would have come out in the voice of a ten-year-old. Click.

The other thing that struck me is, “your loan has expiuhed” has become the new “I have your sister locked up in my car.” Because these days, that’s a lot more terrifying and realistic. Even the youts know.



Title comes from:
Blondie – Hanging On The Telephone

 
 

Amber and Kristen on JBall

Filed under : Life in general
On April 24, 2009
At 5:00 pm
Comments : 3

This was just too good to leave on Facebook and so I’ll recycle it for a wider audience here. It’s between myself and Kay and occasionally, we go by the names we chose when they didn’t have ours at the Coors Brewery gift shop license plate display. As in the header there. Kay, of course, is the person helping me out on the road to the Jew & A book. She knows books!

It all started with this status message:

Becca lost the instructions to the egg poacher and is now cleaning exploded egg out of every crevice of the microwave.
Tue 8:42pm



Then it went like this.

Kay at 8:45pm April 21
Please tell me you videoed it.

Becca at 8:46pm April 21
Don’t you think that would be on YouTube already?

It was all so…sudden.

Kay at 8:48pm April 21
But you should have *anticipated* it. I’ve got to say I’m disappointed in you.

Becca at 8:50pm April 21
Anticipated it! I had to eat my poached egg over rice without egg.

Now I have rice.

Kay at 8:51pm April 21
If you need any other suggestions about how to poach an egg, lemme know, Amber.

Becca at 8:52pm April 21
Who are you?

Kay at 8:52pm April 21
I have no idea but we are so good at picking on each other.

Becca at 8:54pm April 21
I know! We should do a book. I see a series.

Amber and Kristen pick on each other at the Coors factory
Amber and Kristen pick on each other on Facebook
Amber and Kristen pick on each other at *your* house

Kay at 8:55pm April 21
Work on a proposal and then let’s talk. I think you’re on to something.

Becca at 8:56pm April 21
I’ll get right on that!

Kay at 8:58pm April 21
After you clean the microwave.

Becca at 8:59pm April 21
Oh right. THAT.

Kay at 9:00pm April 21
Back where we started.

Becca at 9:01pm April 21
For some unfathomable reason, I’m super-hungry.

Kay at 9:06pm April 21
But you had rice for dinner!

Becca at 9:06pm April 21
I could only eat half a bowl. It was just missing something.

I wonder what.

Kay at 9:08pm April 21
Weird. I swear I heard somewhere that you had a poached egg for dinner.

Becca at 9:12pm April 21
My MICROWAVE had poached egg for dinner!

Pay attention!

Kay at 9:13pm April 21
It’s really hard to keep up.

Becca at 9:14pm April 21
I can’t even remember what we were talking about.

I should make dinner.

Kay at 9:17pm April 21
Oh, that’s a good idea. Whatcha making?

Becca at 9:20pm April 21
Take out!

Kay at 9:21pm April 21
Yum. Be sure to order rice.

Becca at 9:23pm April 21
Will do!

You know, this was one of our best. I think I’ll jot it down for Amber and Kristen Over Easy.

Kay at 9:41pm April 21
I prefer poached, but whatever.

Becca at 9:46pm April 21
Poached! What a great idea. Let me find my egg poacher.



By the way, it was this recipe and it’s awesome. Be sure to read your egg poacher directions! Or do it the old fashioned way…. trust me.

Émilie Simon – The Egg

 
 

Just can’t get enough

Filed under : Depeche Mode,Life in general,Music
On April 23, 2009
At 10:00 pm
Comments : 2

As an addendum to the last post, I’ve often (sometimes?) mentioned that I went on the road for a few days as a senior in High School to see Depeche Mode with a friend with whom I worked at the record store. She did the driving, I did the navigating, and this was before GPS or cell phones. It’s called maps, people! I think we saw two shows. Three? I don’t know, it’s all hazy. Beyond actually finding these places (she was from Wisconsin so had even less of an idea where “Mansfield, Massachusetts” was than I did), there was the little matter of tickets. But luckily, in other towns, scalpers sold tickets at face value. Score! It was a great, great week. Before you ask, yes, my parents were out of town; they did not condone taking off with some chick from the record store and driving around the Northeast.

Sometimes, though, you see the show and it’s just not enough. The lights come up and it’s all so premature. You just need another. And so we went to find more. These days, if a band I love is coming through town for more than one date, I buy both if I can so as to avoid having to scramble for tickets and flight to LA (I did do that once). But somehow I’m glad there wasn’t the chance to do that then.

The reason I bring this up is that last night, just before I was going to bed, I got an e-mail from Facebook. The header was, “Long Lost Depeche Mode Fan?” and it said

Hi,
Is this the Becca from Musicland, White Plains NY? Do you remember DM concerts and road food? If so, I would love to hear from you.

Yes, it was her. She lives in New Mexico now or else I would have loved to somehow hook up with her for one of the shows here. We’ll just have to relive those days over Facebook. And, you know, the blog post I just wrote about her of which she’s not aware.



Rather than use the title track, which I just heard decimated in a Payless commercial, I dedicate this one to the first person I ever got drunk with, amongst many firsts. Bright lights! Dark room!
Depeche Mode – Photographic

 
 

But not tonight

Filed under : Depeche Mode,Music
On April 21, 2009
At 10:45 am
Comments : 4

SPECIAL NOTE: TODAY 4/21 ONLY, NEW DEPECHE MODE “SOUNDS OF THE UNIVERSE” DOWNLOAD ON SALE AT AMAZON FOR $3.99.

BUY ALBUM AT AMAZON

Today, listening to the new Depeche Mode album on my iPod, I started to meditate (it was hard to meditate, there were two women kissing in front of me, but this is the subway) on all the other “first days” of DM albums. Let’s take a look back, shall we?

The first DM album I actually purchased the year it was released rather than taping my favorite songs off of WLIR was Black Celebration in 1986, in cassette form. I don’t actually remember buying it. Didn’t I know I’d be blogging about it 23 years later? Why didn’t I write that down? I do remember having it “borrowed” indefinitely by a friend at Summer camp, but she’s had an unhappy life since, so I believe she was paid back by Karma.

Then was Music For the Masses in 1987 (remember when bands put out albums every year? No, me either) and that’s easy. I bought it from the Musicland store where I worked. If you also bought a cassette of MFTM at Musicland #488 in suburban Westchester county. I probably kissed it before you bought it. Later, I traded it to a girl in college for the Korean version and bought it on CD instead. Korean version = exotic.

Violator, still probably DM’s most popular album, came out in 1990, and again I bought that at my own store, this time in Baltimore, and still in business! I don’t remember buying it but I do remember buying the “cassette single” of Enjoy the Silence. We didn’t carry it so I had to pick it up at 12 Inch Dance Records, a chain which still seems to exist in DC, but not in Baltimore. D’oh!

1993 brought Songs of Faith and Devotion, and I was back at Store #488, making (piddly) money for grad school. At the time, I found the album bizarre but now I love it. That was the year Dave Gahan went crazy, but that was OK, otherwise they never would have made a Behind the Music about them.

I dutifully bought the next three the day they came out, all from neighborhood stores that no longer exist (Nobody Beats the Wiz, Tower, and Circuit City, respectively). And then there was this one. Life’s different now! There are no more record stores in my neighborhood. I wanted to head down to one of the Indies in the Village and pay $5 extra to support them but I just don’t have time this week. I again tried Amazon to see if they would ship for arrival ON the 21st, but no, they promised that with my Prime plan, I’d have it on the 23rd. No good.

Instead, I stuck with the “Season Pass” I already bought months ago on iTunes. I still want the physical CD, it just won’t be on day of release. On the other hand, for the first time, there exists a picture of me doing something I’ve been doing for a big chunk of my life: buying new Depeche Mode music. It’s too big to fit here, let’s go to the scene:

Me buying Sounds of the Universe, 4-21-09

Wow, I look good. Now go get yours!



Title comes from my Twitter pun of last night, “Reeeeally wanted to stay up to collect the new DM from the iTunes store at midnight but not tonight” Hardy-har-har. But really, I needed sleep.

Depeche Mode – But Not Tonight

 
 

I knew they loved me back!

Filed under : Depeche Mode,Music,The Internets
On April 17, 2009
At 1:45 am
Comments : 4

Could this be the greatest e-mail I’ve ever received in my LIFE?



It’s like I’ve achieved my teenage dream! Before the Internet or Twitter existed, but work with me here.

Speaking of Twitter, please note the new box to the right in my sidebar for the many, many sane people who are not on Twitter. This way, you can see this blog update even when I have nothing essay-worthy to say. As usual, there will be no blogging, commenting (by me, that is), or Twittering on the Jewish Sabbath and holidays. It’s a Jewey blog, it needs to rest! You can also click on the bottom picture in that box to follow me, if you do happen to be on Twitter. Many thanks to one of my fave designers/blogs, Randa Clay, for the lovely image there. It was so nice, I decided to let it deviate from my color theme. :: gasp ::



I believe they wrote this song about Twitter.
Depeche Mode – World In My Eyes