Magic Jewball

Now, I’m only watching here in the States so bear with me, but are swimming and gymnastics the only sports in this thing? Because it’s so coincidental that those also happen to be the the sports where we’re winning lots of medals! I’m just going to go ahead and assume the US medal count is about a million by now.

I know, I know, it’s NBC and their emphasis on Americans. And those beach volleyball chicks in bikinis. But it begs the question: what are they showing in Canada where there haven’t been any medals won yet?

Lots of people have said to me, “ZOMG, Blake beat Federer! Blake is at the top of his game!” Maybe so, but your grandma could beat Federer these days. Don’t take my word for it, put your grandma on a flight to Beijing right now. If your grandma is David Nalbandian, don’t bother, he’s injured.

I also just read that a Swedish wrestler threw his bronze medal to the ground in disgust because he thought he was unfairly deprived of the gold. My favorite quote is this one.

“It’s all politics,” said Swedish coach Leo Myllari.

My God, everyone is always out to get the Swedes. I hear Swedes pretend to be Americans when they travel these days.

As I type this, I’m watching water polo (what, can’t a girl blog and watch sports during lunch?) which is not a thing you’ll find me viewing live or on TV in any other capacity outside the Olympics. Besides the adorable Teletubbie caps and the urge to yell Marco! Polo! every few minutes, why do I watch this stuff? It’s the human drama, people! The idea of waiting your whole life, training for four years, scrimping and sacrificing, missing life to spend five hours a day at the gym, having the support of your whole podunk town, traveling to Beijing, and getting disqualified for showing up for the wrong race.

Title comes from Talking Heads’ classic More Songs About Buildings and Food which could be my favorite album title of all time. But I don’t want to be a liar so I’ll just say, Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day and looks better than I ever will. But I always get water up my nose when I swim, so I’m not jealous.

Talking Heads – Stay Hungry

… from the last post.

Two Jews and a black man help Phelps fulfill Olympic dream

…when people attempt to connect giant news stories to themselves by fragile little threads?

ZOMG, Cullen Jones, the guy on the right, is from the Bronx!!!! This is the greatest victory ever! USA! USA!

Spandau Ballet – Gold

And now, a Canadian Cuestion. I deduced this because of the SpelLing.

Dear Becca

-Deas

OK, it could be British, but I just sold some US Open tickets to the Deases and I had to send them to Canada, not the UK. I’m such a detective!

Anyway.

This is a good question and not just because all questions are good questions. No, it’s because it allows me to tell you about the two kinds of commandments in Judaism.

1. Between a person and God.
2. Between a person and another person.

So, for example, the rules about lighting candles before the Sabbath starts or eating Kosher food fall under #1 and the rules about not lying or stealing would be #2. Lots of really religious people like to think #1 is more important but Rabbi Hillel (a famous Rabbi in the Talmud… maybe the most influential and wise) was once asked if he could summarize the entire Torah in brief and he answered, “Treat others as you would want to be treated. The rest is just commentary.” And so, we know that #2 is the most important.

What happens if you break the rules? Just as in Catholicism, you need to repent. If you transgress against the first category of commandments, you need to ask forgiveness from God. This is done during daily services and on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. If you have broken a rule from category #2, you also need to ask forgiveness from the one against whom you’ve sinned, only this time, it’s a human. Otherwise, what does it really mean?

But what if that person says suck it? Can you repent anyway? Well, you need to ask three times and if it’s still no and you are truly sorry then it’s considered enough. I like to say no the first two times just to make people sweat. Kidding, kidding.

Either way, no, there is no middleman, just people and people and God. And so if Mr. Deas ends up getting bad matches, I may have to try this out on you.

Thanks for asking!

Depeche Mode – The Sinner In Me

Please don’t park your ice creamy goodness along my favorite route to walk home. See, as I say all the time, math is not my strong point. But if I burn 200 calories walking home from work and then purchase an “artisan organic” cup of mint chip, I am still net about a brazillion calories. Of this I am pretty certain.

I know, the ice cream is technically optional. But we both know that’s not really true. Because you have this trick. Often you’re there. Sometimes you’re not. This is tortuous. Because then I have to act and act now. With Grom, I know it will always be there, waiting to dole out heavenly gelato. But not you, Van L. truck. It may be now or never. When I see you, it’s like serendipity.

Crafty.

And the way the mint tastes like real peppermint and the chocolate isn’t hard chips but rather crushed and blended throughout the scoop… why, I’ll never eat that violent green stuff again.

Maybe you’d better park right in front of my building.

PS, having that skinny hipster chick scooping the ice cream is just cruel.

Van Halen – Ice Cream Man