Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


More thoughts on Olympics and food

Filed under : Sports
On August 15, 2008
At 2:00 pm
Comments : 9

Now, I’m only watching here in the States so bear with me, but are swimming and gymnastics the only sports in this thing? Because it’s so coincidental that those also happen to be the the sports where we’re winning lots of medals! I’m just going to go ahead and assume the US medal count is about a million by now.

I know, I know, it’s NBC and their emphasis on Americans. And those beach volleyball chicks in bikinis. But it begs the question: what are they showing in Canada where there haven’t been any medals won yet?

Lots of people have said to me, “ZOMG, Blake beat Federer! Blake is at the top of his game!” Maybe so, but your grandma could beat Federer these days. Don’t take my word for it, put your grandma on a flight to Beijing right now. If your grandma is David Nalbandian, don’t bother, he’s injured.

I also just read that a Swedish wrestler threw his bronze medal to the ground in disgust because he thought he was unfairly deprived of the gold. My favorite quote is this one.

“It’s all politics,” said Swedish coach Leo Myllari.

My God, everyone is always out to get the Swedes. I hear Swedes pretend to be Americans when they travel these days.

As I type this, I’m watching water polo (what, can’t a girl blog and watch sports during lunch?) which is not a thing you’ll find me viewing live or on TV in any other capacity outside the Olympics. Besides the adorable Teletubbie caps and the urge to yell Marco! Polo! every few minutes, why do I watch this stuff? It’s the human drama, people! The idea of waiting your whole life, training for four years, scrimping and sacrificing, missing life to spend five hours a day at the gym, having the support of your whole podunk town, traveling to Beijing, and getting disqualified for showing up for the wrong race.

Title comes from Talking Heads’ classic More Songs About Buildings and Food which could be my favorite album title of all time. But I don’t want to be a liar so I’ll just say, Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day and looks better than I ever will. But I always get water up my nose when I swim, so I’m not jealous.

Talking Heads – Stay Hungry


9 Comments for this post

KP says

I just watched men’s volleyball because I had no choice (I had to pick up my kids at my sister’s). It was the US vs. Sweden or Switzerland…I’m sorry, it was just plain boring so I didn’t really notice.

Does that make me a bad American?
I know I am already a bad mother, a bad friend, a bad wife, and a bad daughter so I can go with that.

sarpon says

We have to actually watch the Olympics to be good Americans?

Does watching American sports *during* the Olympics counts? Because otherwise I need a new country, stat.

kb says

This writer’s use of hyperbole is fantastic, IMO. I giggled out loud.

To watch the Olympics, you need a TV. I kinda don’t have one. (okay, I *have* one, but it’s small, it’s in the kitchen, and last time I used it — to watch the Belmont Stakes — the cable box said it “wasn’t authorized with this device.”) So the only Olympics I saw was at the Minneapolis hostel I stayed at last weekend. That was actually pretty cool, to have the Olympics on TV with a bunch of foreign young people in the room. I recommend the experience to anyone.

KP says

I watched 7 hours of youth football today. I may never watch sports again.

Becca says

I don’t think liking the Olympics is at all about being a good American (whatever that means anyway). It’s not even about sports, to my mind, because swimming is as boring as fuck. It’s about humans training all their lives to do stuff you couldn’t do, for personal glory, for their countries, and because it’s the experience of a lifetime. I don’t even care where people are from. I’m as happy to see the starry look on the Romanian girl’s face when they’re playing her national anthem as on Michael Phelps’.

Deas says

I bet that Michael had the starry look when the Romanian girl’s face was on him.

KP says

My comment about being a bad American was a joke based on something my sister said to me. I agree that I am not sure what a bad or good American really is.

But I am pretty sure she still thinks I’m a bad one.

Becca says

Oh Deas.

KP, family issues are beyond the purview of this blog. Please tell your sister to start her own blog and I am sure you will have one or two comments for her.

KP says

Oh no, that means I would have to talk to her. You see, she thinks people who spend all day on the internets are freaks. I don’t think she even knows what a blog is. Freak.
I’ll stay here with all of the hot swimmers and the food thanks.