Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Truly yours is a butt that won’t quit

Filed under : The Internets
On July 2, 2008
At 3:30 pm
Comments : 6

Man, do I need some time off. Thank goodness someone signed the Declaration of Independence so I could get some. That’s what I’m thinking about right now, so pardon the inconsequential post.

Or maybe not! Maybe you live for “Becca makes jokes at the expense of some person mooning over their missed connection.” In which case, this is your day, my friend.

If only I had had some way of finding out your name and contact information…

I hope it’s OK that I opened this even though my name isn’t Jenny. Or I think it isn’t.

But listen, mystery searcher-for-Jenny, if you couldn’t ask for this girl’s name and number while she was trapped in a cage, I’m not sure you’re man enough to deserve her.

Where to begin.

First off, I love the ads where the person says things like, “you smiled at me and my wife – let’s hook up, yo!” Wait, what? At least this person has an explanation. “Remember me? I was with my wife. Oh her? Yes, she doesn’t realize it but we’re unhappy and I’m on patrol for ‘thick’ white women.”

Also, your butt is the butt I’ve been waiting for all my life. I have been searching for something elusive all my days. That thing, I’m pretty sure, is your butt.

Title comes from “Bart the Lover” episode of The Simpsons. But let’s go with:

Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back


6 Comments for this post

Solace says

Well, that’s just peeyerpance funny, that’s what that is. I wonder if there are any hot guys looking for “thick” women with bladder control issues? (blarf)

Everbidy kegel!

Peace says

I have to agree. That’s some funny stuff. :)

Becca says

Thanks! Thanks!

Sol, if reading missed connections has taught me anything, it’s that whatever blarfy thing you can think of, someone in New York is looking for it!

sarpon says

I am so disappointed. I thought I was a RROTM.*

* Repeat Reader of The Month.

Becca says

Really? Because not only has my butt quit, it’s suing for a larger severance package.

KP says

Do you know how much I love that line from The Simpsons?

Actually, I think you do.