Magic Jewball

all signs point to no

 

Where’s my stuff indeed

Filed under : Life in general
On June 5, 2007
At 10:10 pm
Comments : 16

Dear Amazon.com,

It’s good to see that my package is in the US and that further, it’s traveled all the way from Jersey City to the US. The knowledge both that my books & CD’s are somewhere in our fine country and that Jersey City is somehow outside it is really reassuring. Anyway, what I’d really like to know is, how come it takes nine days to travel from Jersey City to the Upper West Side? Will someone be swimming up the Hudson with my box strapped to his back? Because if so, I now understand why everything in there is always coated with industrial-strength shrink wrap.

See you in eight days!
Love,
Becca

PS, I’ve attached a homemade pseudo-Photoshop-esque illustration in case your swimmer lost his map.




(click to enlarge)





Yes – Long Distance Runaround

 

16 Comments for this post

 
RN says

Isn’t that upstream? I think the current is slowing them down.

 
KP says

That friggin map made me howl. Thank Bec, I needed that.

 
Lydia says

I think *I* could swim it there in 8 days.

“in case your swimmer lost his map” had me laughing and laughing.

 
Alex says

They’re just allowing an average amount of time to get through the Lincoln Tunnel. It’s better once you get to 10th Avenue and head uptown, but it can take a lifetime to get to 10th Avenue from New Jersey.

 
Becca says

Thank God people laughed because it ain’t easy drawing letters and arrows freehand with a trackpad, I can tell you.

But I guess traffic let up because my package arrived this morning (heh heh, she said package) and totally dry. I decided to start with the most complicated book first, seen here on top. BTW, I wonder if the fact that all my books were exactly the same size contributed to my speedy delivery.

http://www.magicjewball.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/amazon-books.jpg

 
kb says

what is that little boy standing on?

 
Sarpon says

Instead of trying to be witty, I will just draw a picture for you:

____________
| |
| |
| |
________________| |_______________
|__________________________________________|

 
Sarpon says

Comment triste! J’ai essayé!

 
Becca says

kb, it’s a planet!

Sarpon, indeed. Hm, well what was it supposed to be?

 
Sarpon says

What has your comments section got against empty space?

 
Becca says

It doesn’t like it. Unlike me, I love empty space.

Ladies and gents, Sarpon e-mailed me her drawing and I do indeed think it’s genius and apropos.

dessin

 
Soxy says

Is that a Pilgrim hat? Or your apartment building?

 
Becca says

You’ve driven the Mass Pike too much.

Petit Prince

“My drawing didn’t represent a hat. It represented a boa snake digesting an elephant.”

 
Alex says

Ruh-roh. Now the estate of Antoine de St.-Exupery is gonna be coming after the Jewball for copyright infringement.

Because in America, dead people are not in the public domain.

 
Becca says

I can’t be a bigger target than this guy who has the whole thing in several languages:

http://korczak.com/Exupery/englisch/0.html

And, btw, it looks like the English translation has “My drawing was not a picture of a hat. It was a picture of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant.” That does sound better; I guess mine was more literal.

But anyway, it’s OK, I have friends at the RIAA. They’ll protect me.

 
Soxy says

Oh. Oui.