Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


Snappy answers to stupid questions – April

Filed under : Meta/Blognews
On May 2, 2007
At 2:50 pm
Comments : 25

Yeah, I know, I’m a few days late on my April edition. But not only have I been busy but I noticed on my April calendar there that I seem to have some sort of aversion to posting on Wednesdays. Bizarre. So let’s start May off on a Wednesday, shall we?

Here are some of the wacky search terms from April and what I wish I could tell my anonymous searchers. Come back! Come back!

photos of babies having a diaper change

ew, no

neil finn one nil failure

Was not!

katie couric perky bitch

Can’t argue with that, really.

i wish i were jewish

Wouldn’t it be dreamy?

ensemble tout devient possible song

There’s a song? It’s a campaign, not a baseball team!

david nalbandian song translated

But of course this would be OK.

passover tuna noodle casserole

Oh for the love of matzah! Just don’t.

the simpsons porn

You realize they’re cartoons, right? Perhaps Fritz the Cat would be up your alley. So to speak.

who wants to be a juror?

No one sane, that’s for sure.

amy winehouse orthodox jewish

OMG, I saw this woman in shul with tats all over her and I just knew it was her!

all famous people from long ago

That would be a really long post and would most certainly break my post container.

becca and justin

I didn’t want to tell you but, yes, he really brings sexyback.

orthodox jews playing baseball photo

You should see The Chosen!

german houseguests

They rocked!

crack users

I can see why that brought you here.

what kind of people are famous in soccer

Usually the kind that play soccer well. Being married to Posh Spice doesn’t hurt either.

famous person looking for car valet

Good luck with that job search!

ca plane pour moi pronounce

I’m pronouncing it right now, can you hear me?

good girls gone soxy

Soxy, you put out an explicit video and didn’t tell me?

holidays that happen in judaism

I’m thinking you should just read the whole blog.

i can’t find easy hebrew radio

And no wonder. It’s been discontinued. Boo! Hiss!

what famous people said about jews

“Must-see!” “I laughed, I cried, Jews are better than Cats!” “Three Stars!”

And the “I’m not sure you understand the whole ‘how to Google’ concept” award for April goes to:
i can find a lover i can find a friend i can have security.. that from a famous song give me the whole words

Amy Winehouse – Rehab


25 Comments for this post

Sarpon says

If you search for tenderness
It isn’t hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give


Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don’t want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe


I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know

When I’m deep inside of me
Don’t be too concerned
I won’t ask for nothin’ while I’m gone
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Because you’re the one that I depend upon


Sarpon says

Just in case the winner comes back.

Becca says

“Ensemble tout devient possible” is in English? Who would have guessed!

Lydia says

It’s not askJeeves, for Christ’s sake.

BTW, I’m totally stealing “I’m not sure you understand the whole ‘how to Google’ concept”

KP says

This list made me laugh, except for the Billy Joel earworm. That wasn’t nice.

Becca says

Lydia, it’s all yours! Some day, I feel sure, people will stop addressing Google as if it’s a librarian.

KP, please forward all complaints to Sarpon, please see me about your new fake e-mail address.

Sarpon says

Oooh! Fake e-mail! Just what I need.

Pious B says

Oh, how I love love love this feature.

KP says

I got that earworm from the award winner. I won’t blame Sarpon for that. I will forward her some email if she likes. In fact, I just got one that promises me a larger “pennnis”. I am not sure if that’s what I think it is, but bigger is always better, right?

Becca says

Thanks, Pi!

KP, but I don’t know who the award winner is. I’d rather blame the person right in front of me. Isn’t that always the way?

Soxy says

I really need to stop googling myself. As I’ve said before — the Jewball really does know all.

Midwesterner in NYC says

I keep getting one over and over the last couple months that says “How does a midwesterner dress?”

Who… why… argh, i just dont get this search on so many levels.

Celia says

As baffling as I find some of these search terms, I am even more baffled that some of them led to your site.

Also, I just noticed my name fell off the top commenters list again.

Celia says

Whew! That fixed it. And THIS should really help.

Becca says

Oh, Soxy, don’t be modest! Clearly you have a worldwide following.

That was me, Mid. I’ve always wondered. Is it really like the Land’s End catalog?

Celia, try it! You’ll see. And I have to say, I love the two-week roll on that list. Every day is a surprise!

A Hausgäst says

Nice to know we rocked! Lotsa LOVE outta Berlin…

Alex says

I decided to try Googling Soxy, too, but since I don’t know her actual name I had to Google “Soxy.” Doing so led me to pose two questions:

1. Why on earth does a person bother to create a web site that’s all about socks?

2. Is Soxy who posts here at all connected to this Soxy ( )? If so, it’s a side of her I hadn’t previously been aware of.

KP says

Because may be it really is all about socks Alex. Maybe it really is.

Or maybe it’s all about the Hokey Pokey.

I fear we shall never know.

Becca says

I believe that may be the Soxy people are looking for hen they do that search, Alex. Thanks for the research!

Alex says

Are you saying it’s two different Soxies?

That’s gonna change my whole worldview.

Becca says

Well, I’ve only met one of them so I couldn’t really say definitively. We’ll just have to leave this as one of the great mysteries of the universe.

Ima Wurdibitsch says

You’re brave, Becca.

I looked at the search strings that brought people to my blog once. Just once.

I like to think I’m fairly open-minded. I’m not. I’m scarred – scarred for life.

Becca says

Oh, I’m addicted to stats. I use four stats trackers! I know, it’s a sickness, but they each show me different things.

Supermom says

I really need to start reading this from home and not from work. I start laughing hysterically (at what you wrote) and everyone looks at me as if I’ve gone crazy. (OK, so I have, but that’s beside the point) » Blog Archive » says

[...] post was inspired by Becca’s monthly keyword [...]