Magic Jewball

all signs point to no


No place to hide….my clutter

Filed under : Life in general
On September 15, 2006
At 4:49 pm
Comments : 9

Sometimes when I see these shows like Trading Spaces or any of those “Pimp My McMansion” things on the decorating networks, this thought pops into my brain: mmmm, closets…. mmmm, spare bedrooms. It’s just that when you live in a closet yourself, that is a Manhattan 1-bedroom, you envy these types of places. I mean, not the lawns or the ridiculous atrium-like entranceways, just the fact that when people come over, you have somewhere to stuff the piles of things you have around. I have plenty of closets, I’m lucky that way, but they are full of things that actually belong there like clothes and towels. But what about the junk? Baby, baby, where does our junk go? Let me just admit here that I have occasionally resorted to tossing things in the bathtub just to hide the clutter when someone comes over.

This is why I am fantastically delighted that after a long wait I have been granted storage space in my building’s basement at the bargain price of $25 a month. There’s a waiting list but I’m the most senior person on it and finally, finally they granted me the magical key to the dirty, prison-like storage room. I get a cage of an area that’s about 5 feet wide and 8 feet long and man, do I have some stuff to cram in there.

I took a look around at everyone else’s and they all seemed to be the kind of things that you could put in long term storage like an easy chair or neatly piled boxes. Come ON. Where are the bags of old letters and the piles of Cooking Light magazines that you’re sure you’ll use one day but are just an eyesore today? And how about all the gifts people give you that you have no earthly use for but feel guilty enough to keep? Who are these neighbors of mine?

But mine will be different and since the ceiling is high, I can just keep throwing things on top until I open the door one day and get killed by a pile of my own crap. But at least when you visit me you’ll admire how tidy things are and how simply I live. It’s a trade-off I’m willing to make.

Martha Reeves & The Vandellas – Nowhere To Run


9 Comments for this post

RN says

It’s these type of little things in life that keep us happy isn’t it?

When you come to Tulsa, I’ll show you my closets.


Sarpon says

It is an immutable law that clutter expands to fill the space available to it. All that will happen now is that your clutter will grow in two locations. It will be kinda cool if you accidentally store parts of some gentically linked clutter in each of the two separate areas and they grow toward each other, snaking through the hallways and other peoples’ apartments and up the elevator shaft, trying to reunite. That would be something to see.

PsychoPants says

I CAN’T believe that I’ve never thought of putting stuff in the bathtub.

Thanks for the tip!

KP says

I am the queen of storing crap somewhere company can’t see it. In fact, i am pretty sure there are some extra family members or pets stuffed in a drawer or behind a bed in the House of KP.

Becca says

RN, now that I hear you’re coming to NY, there is no need for me to come to Tulsa! Not that, you know, I didn’t really want to.

Sarpon, now you’re just showing off. And it’s working.

PP, just call me Heloise!

KP, you see, that’s why I need a house: somewhere to store the bodies.

Celia says

I know I really shouldn’t complain, but at least you are the only one hiding stuff so you have a prayer of finding it again.

In our basement “storage” room, I discovered a treasure trove of laundry baskets of miscellany that had been hidden from sight when straightening up for guests, and never returned. So THAT’s where all my bras disappeared to! So THERE is the other half of that pair of pajamas!

And I am seriously considering attaching my comb to my dresser with one of those chains like they use for pens at the bank.

Becca says

Are my bras in there too? No, I thought not.

mamac says


My house is lovely and organized and you can open any closet and feast your eyes on the organization that is Casa Mama.

This probably isn’t going to get me ROTM, is it?

Becca says

MamaC, welcome to J-Ball! May you be fruitful and multiply your comments.