Magic Jewball

all signs point to no

 

Learn to swim

Filed under : Famous People,Judaism,Music
On August 2, 2006
At 3:38 pm
Comments : 9

Just a day or so after writing that last post, a song came on my iPod which was actually more acid and sarcastic than Debonair. But more on this later.

So World Cup Lisa wrote me to say she was pleased I hadn’t wasted my energy writing about Mel Gibson. I dunno, I wasn’t really interested until she said that and so I decided to waste a bit of energy talking about it. Y’know, hearing the news that Mel Gibson is an anti-Semite is akin to hearing the news that Lance Bass is gay. Wow, that came out of left field! Who could have guessed?

But it’s an interesting time to talk about old drunkass Mel because tonight begins a Jewish day of mourning called Tisha B’Av (the ninth of Av – no relation to the fourth of July). In a bizarre coincidence, 98% of the tragic things that happened to the Jewish people all seemed to happen on the same day. Actually, since we fast on this day, maybe it’s a great thing that they all happened on just one day. There’s only so many days you can abstain from food and we already have six.

Anyway, here are just a few of the hit parade of tragedies:

  • First Temple in Jerusalem destroyed by the Babylonians in 586 BCE
  • Second Temple in Jerusalem destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE
  • Expulsion of Jews from Spain in 1492

So it isn’t weird to be thinking about Mel Gibson and his anti-Semitic tirade this week. I’m not sure there’s anything in Jewish history about calling a female cop “sugar tits,” however. Either way, I really just feel sorry for people who are this ignorant. It’s 2006, get a clue. Sure, we control Hollywood. That’s why we made sure to put out a movie like “The Passion of the Christ” which inspired a whole new generation to want to kill us!

Anyway, speaking of Hollywood, let’s get back to the song I was talking about. One day, long long ago, on a planet far away, that is, Los Angeles, I was waiting on line at the El Rey to get into a show by one of the bands on my then-label. When I say waiting on line, I mean in my rental car, waiting for the valet parking guy to relieve me of it. While I was doing that, I noticed in the actual line to get in was standing none other than Maynard James Keenan of Tool. He wasn’t with anyone. No one was talking to him. As a matter of fact, through business I have seen Maynard several times and each time he was standing by himself, talking to no one.

But as I said, I had a lot of time to watch him taking in that whole unique LA scene of plastic looking people, music industry weasels, posers, has-beens, wannabes, etc. I mean, he lives there and all so what does he think of it? About a year later this song came out and then I knew.

 

Song not available on Napster.

Should you be the sensitive type, please be warned that like most Tool songs, this one has a truckload of profanity.

Audio to Tool – Aenema removed for space considerations.

Lyrics

 

9 Comments for this post

 
Sarpon says

I’m glad the lyrics were available to be read, as I had to stop listening when the kids came into the room. After all, I am the one who confiscated a CD that had a track with the word “pussy” so I really can’t be caught listening to a song with the eff-word in it fifteen times.

Actually sixteen. I counted.

Do you think releasing this song got him out of having to go to any more Hollywood parties?

 
Becca says

Sixteen! It sounds like more, doesn’t it?

No, no, I think he’s still the same weirdo celebrity he always was.

 
Sarpon says

Yes, it does seem like more. I think it’s the repetition of “fret” in the earlier verse that makes it seem so.

Quite poetic, in its way. I’m surprised it hasn’t been used over the end credits of Entourage. Or maybe it has and I just didn’t notice.

 
Lutha says

But, Becca, Mel was drunk when he said those things!

That means that he really didn’t mean them, and have those feelings in his heart prior to being drunk.

Like the time in college that you confessed your love for your best friend when you were drunk, only to be rejected by him? That was just the alcohol speaking, right?! Not your true feelings, because that would be embarassing.

 
KP says

I may have to download this and add it to my F**k playlist (yes I have one).

BTW, Old Drunkass Mel would be a great name for a band.

 
Lutha says

I was kidding, BTW. My smirk sometimes doesn’t show up on your monitor.

 
Becca says

Sarpon, yes, you just don’t hear “fret” too often in songs today. It should really be used more, I think.

Lutha, no, no, the alcohol usually came after I was rejected. And I can see your smirk. Smirker.

KP, lemme know if you need more. I have plenty.

 
Becca says

Oh, and KP, that went for both things you said.

 
KP says

You are always there for me Bec. Thanks.