Magic Jewball

all signs point to no

 

You guys still there?

Filed under : Etc.
On May 14, 2006
At 1:20 am
Comments : 14

I have a feeling I should never post again, that I can’t top the popularity of my Steph post or maybe even that my readers are all dead from competing to be Reader of the Month. It’s shocking what people will do to appear on the Internet in a Preakness hat.

But more than that, I haven’t felt especially funny this week and my mission is to keep you all entertained so that you forget all your troubles. Especially because that will keep you from telling me about them.

So as a stopgap measure, I’ve decided to just play this fun game. What is the similarity between these two songs? You’ll never get it, so to prevent you from pulling out your hair, the answer’s all the way at the bottom! Good luck and there are no prizes except smug self-satisfaction.

The English Beat – Save It For Later

Deftones – Mascara

In the meantime, while you’re listening to these ditties and pondering, I invite you to submit questions for a fun new feature. Today is Mother’s Day and in memory of my mother, a Jewish educator in every fiber of her being, Tuesday’s post will be “Judaism Q&A with Becca!” Now, don’t be shy. I know you’ve been wondering about all kinds of things such as:

“Can you use the toilet on your Sabbath?”
“If there’s no Hell, what keeps you from killing Simon Cowell?”
“What makes food Kosher? Is it special sauce?”

So, you can either e-mail me at magicjewball@verizon.net or leave a comment which I will then not post (this way, we can keep the questions under wraps until the big day). Don’t worry, I won’t post your name no matter how crazy your question! No, no, I take that back, my mother would want me to tell you, there are no crazy questions, just crazy people. So get those burning questions in by, oh, 6pm Eastern on Tuesday.

OK, ready for the answer?

It’s this. Both songs have a sentence that completes after a beat to add a totally different meaning.

In Save It For Later:
Just hold my hand while I come
(pause)
To a decision on it.

Oooh, dirty….not. But even more cleverly, in Mascara:

It’s too bad you’re married
(pause)
To me.

Oh, Chino Moreno, you so crazy!

 

14 Comments for this post

 
Kay says

What have you got against Simon? Hater.

 
Becca says

Please feel free to insert the villain of your chice in the sentence.

Responses of “Johnny Damon” will not be entertained.

 
steph says

Apropos of nothing related to this, I would like to say that because of my recently acquired Supa Stah status and the paparazzi, I purchased new shoes and pants this weekend.

I would like to request a “Before and After” blog entry in the future.

 
cranky says

Um, if you make me reader of the month, I have this really hot picture of myself that you can use.

While there are no confirmed Doritos in my cleavage, I was eating Doritos, so it’s a possibility.

And I also used html tags up there in that paragraph. That should make me a shoe in.

Here’s the other thing: I need an excuse to go shopping.

 
Becca says

Steph, as long as both have you in a Preakness hat and green star glasses, you’re on!

Cranky, that sounds delightful. Maybe my anonymous designer can Photoshop the Dorito crumbs onto your cleavage!

Oh, and there was a comment from Kay which has not been posted. I SAID WE WOULD NOT ENTERTAIN THAT, KAY.

 
Soxy says

Could we replace Simon with Randy Johnson?

Are you still eligible to be reader of the month if you have no clue how to use html? (The html peeps did not like when I put snortle in their little brackets, btw)

 
penguindeb says

Also completely unrelated bec. i just had the weirdest case of deja vou reading the questions part of your post. i had a dream oh ages ago and i believe (unless i am making this up) that randomly in it was me reading something that you wrote pertaining to such questions. it was one of those garbled dreams about nothing really with a little allusion to the gdt thrown in.

yes. i am weird.

 
Kay says

Meanie.

Come on, let’s talk about it. :D

 
Becca says

Soxy, they’re very possessive like that. Not only do they not like when you snortle in their html brackets, they also frown upon giggling in their CSS modules.

BTW, an extra space will take care of that problem.

Dear Deb,

It’s bad form to post whilst high. Check out that clinic where Patrick Kennedy went! I’m sure they can help.

Remember, Ambien and Phenergan don’t mix! Just say no.

Love,
Becca

 
Becca says

Oops, I missed Kay in there. Kay, I swear the fact that I missed your post above has nothing to do with your cruel, cruel comments.

 
steph says

I’m having a Preakness party for 40 on Saturday, complete with non-green hat and no glasses, except those filled with Cosmos and Black-Eyed Susans. I’ll send you the pictures.

No, no I won’t. My attention hooring days are over. Plus, I want to see Cranky’s anonymous designer, photoshopped, dorito-filled boobages.

 
Becca says

No! Send pictures! I want to see a drink with a big black and yellow flower in it. What, that wsn’t what you were describing?

 
Boo! says

Um… Becca. I’m sitting here with bated breath. When might we be able to expect today’s edition? I really want to know if one of my questions made the cut :)

 
Becca says

Hang in there! Just some minor corrections and spell checking so you don’t think I’m stupid and we’ll be there.

I’ll try to keep some porn magazines in my waiting room next time, sorry.