Remember my photo of Avery Fisher Hall? I don’t know who Avery Fisher was, but his Hall is part of Lincoln Center, a complex of arts buildings which is the home of such cultural delights as the Metropolitan Opera, the New York City Ballet, and the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. I have seen both an opera and a ballet there, mostly so I could tell people that I had. It used to be the gritty neighborhood where West Side Story was set and filmed. Then they tore down all those buildings and killed all the people so that we could enjoy Mostly Mozart. Something like that; I’m a little sketchy, it was all before I was born.
Anyway, I often pass it, either because it’s on my way home if I’m walking or because it’s near my own cultural touchstones, Tower Records and Gracious Home. This Friday, there was a bit of a scene. Here’s what it looked like.
That little marble-looking thing in the background? That’s David Blaine, the magician, showman, or whatever. He’s in a globe of water. Fun! I’m kind of shocked he picked the Upper West Side for this stunt, as we’re not exactly known as the place for huge touristy-type things. It’s mostly residential. But I guess Times Square was booked. And this area is the snootier part of the Upper West Side, too. As a matter of fact, while I was standing there, a large white limo pulled up, a fancy suit guy and slinky-haired blonde woman got out, and away they walked in the opposite direction. Sorry, David!
But there was actually a queue to stick a camera in David Blaine’s face and “touch” your hand to his. I didn’t even wait on line to meet Interpol at Tower Village so you can bet this wasn’t going to merit my time. Instead, I let my lens do the zoom-in.
I think this one’s my favorite, mostly because it seems like these particular guys were taking a break from a Fitty Cent video shoot when they decided to line up to see the The Man In The Bubble.
But I needed to get closer. I wanted to see all that pruney skin I had heard about.
How about this one? You just know this girl on the left is gazing at Bubble-Man’s muscles as he reaches out for her friend’s boob.
No, no, still not close enough. No other people, just the crazy guy.
There we go. His skin looks disappointingly smooth. What a shame.
Everyone always wants to know the same thing about David Blaine. How does he go to the bathroom in there? Yes, that’s the level of discourse these days. But because I love you, I did a little research and found out that he fasted for five days previous to this so that there would be no solid waste in the tank. Phew! Because if you’ve ever had a fish tank, you know that can get messy. Plus, you know, there would be fewer people lining up to get a look. Or more, which would be even more horrifying.
But the real question, at least to me, is why? What is the point of all this? I guess it’s to prove that a human can test his limits and go the distance. I like to see that proved via Olympic bobsledding, personally, but to each his own. Then I saw a commercial on ABC that there’s going to be a special about this. Now I get it. The purpose is actually to prove that a human can test his limits and go the distance by making the most money doing the stupidest thing possible! That clears everything up, thanks.
Was this song in your head while you were reading that first paragraph? If not, now it is!